mother-in-law lied for 3 years?
By snowbitz
@snowbitz (487)
Philippines
November 18, 2010 8:11am CST
What will you do if you knew that your mother-in-law has been lying to her children for 3 years?My sister-in-law and i just found out that my mother-in-law has a large sum of money but she is not interested to claim it because of her being angry to her husband who left her for another woman and also being angry to one of her children.My sister-in-law was shock because she had suffered a lot of trials almost lost her daughter,had a miscarriage without their mother's help when in fact she can help her children because she had that money.I was angry also because when we had no money she did not help us but right now my husband already have a job her hands is wide open to accept everything that my husband gave her.What pisses me most is her principle of she would rather die than let her husband or one of her children have the money.I thought parents can't rest if they don't see their children have better lives?
3 people like this
14 responses
@2004cqui (2812)
• United States
18 Nov 10
Whoa! There are more problems here than money! Your mother-in-law is mean and manipulative. She likes to see others miserable and will do everything she can to ensure it. I believe you saw this long ago. She's throwing money into the picture because it's the last weapon she has! Your mother-in-law is mentally sick. She needs intervention. I'll bet she's lying about having money. Get her some help, soon! I hope you do.
2 people like this
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
she was very miserable because her husband left her for other woman.If i were her i would use the money to make my like better and let him see that leaving his family is his biggest mistake instead she is trying to drag all her children to misery with her.I thought parents are more happy to see their children happy and contented with their live if they need help parents are there to give them a push
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
18 Nov 10
dishonesty is one of the thing that i dislike most from people... i can tolerate other thing, but not dishonesty... i feel that every relationship should start with trust as the basic and if that trust had been broken because of betrayal and dishonesty, then it is very hard to be repair again... i learn it the hard way and that's why i dislike dishonest people a lot... i'm sorry that your mother-in-law treat you in this way... hope you can forgive her one day and move on again with your life... take care and have a nice day...
2 people like this
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
forgiveness i pray that i can give it to her fast.what hurt me most is remembering how hard my husband tried to support our needs and i even had to leave my baby just to work because one of her children is living with us and she was also living with us i don't really mind that set-up because i was the one who propose that idea to my husband in order to help both of them and i was thinking that God gave us blessing and we ought to share it.when it was our turn to be helped to body except my family help us.My husband is a very kind and loving son how could she done it to my husband it hurts me more because she betrayed the only person who has been truthful to her the whole time it was my husband and i
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
18 Nov 10
It is really frustrating and maddening to have family members (or anyone) lie to you. I have zero tolerance for lying after being on the receiving end of it for far too many years. From what you said, it sounds like the mother-in-law doesn't actually have the money in her hands but she is entitled to have it IF she claims it? In any case, it would be generous of her to offer financial help to her children IF she can afford it... but it's certainly not an obligation. Parents do not owe their adult children money, the same way that adult children do not owe their parents money. It's wonderful when families can and do help each other through the difficult times in life... it sure helps when we are down... but it should never be seen as a debt or an obligation. We all have to make our own way in the world... and sometimes the way is really hard and we'd like help. Unfortunately, we don't always receive it :\
1 person likes this
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
i agree to what you say .It frustrate me to know that she have ways and means to help her children during difficult times but she just closed her eyes and just receive whatever her children can give her.you are right that we as their children don't have obligations to our parents nor our parents have obligations to us but because we are humans and capable of feelings and love i think we should always lend a helping hands especially if its your child who needs you because that's what my parents do they are more bothered if we as their children is having difficulties.what i think to my mother in law is mix emotions mostly i am confused she had lied for 3 years to us i am now confused if all the goodness that she show me is true or she just show it to me because she doesn't have to worry about me or my husband financially because my parents are more capable of helping financially?confusion and anger is what i feel right now
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
19 Nov 10
She seems mean spirited. Like she is unhappy and wants others to be as well. Money doesn't look like the big problem here. Her self esteem may be the issue. Not easy being left for someone else. Most parents do want the est for their kids. Looks like she may have lost sight of that.
1 person likes this
@reckon21 (3479)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
This is rare situation that seldom happen because most of the times when a person knows that she could claim a money somewhere I think they will do everything to get it as soon as possible. I just wonder why she just choose to live in poverty in spite of the fact that there is money waiting to be found anytime all the time.
You are right if she does not want the money she could always give it to her children so that it can help them a big deal. It would be silly if she passed away and not claimed the money that could help change the life of her children.
1 person likes this
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
23 Nov 10
That's what i think also.Mothers should be so sensitive to the needs of theirs children.even if the children are of legal age there's no such thing that if your children are of legal age you are not bound by any obligations or responsibility.I think we are still bound morally what our children do or how they live reflects what we teach them.When i was a kid i always hear my mother tell me to share and that's what i have been teaching my child to share.how can a mother forgets because she was angry?
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
18 Nov 10
That is most definitely a very frustrating situation to be in with your life at best. However, there is also nothing that you can really do about it. I don't think that your mother-in-law is right to not help her children out when they are struggling if it is something that she is able to do. Also, I don't understand her principle behind this situation at all, it really stinks that she would do something like this to her children.
2 people like this
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
i know it frustrate me also because in my part my husband is really a good son he would help out whenever he can.I was thinking that every parents would be worried if they die not seeing their children in good and stable life i was wrong there are also parents that would rather die seeing her husband and some children taste the money that she worked hard for.I mean they don't have the right for it but she also don't have the right to just accept things that she doesn't work hard for.her hands are always wide open to accept things from her children but when we are the ones who are in need we cannot depend on her because we thought she is not capable financially.
@sid556 (30959)
• United States
19 Nov 10
Hi Snowbitz,
I really can't imagine being that bitter that I would lie about such a thing. In this day and age when everyone is struggling so bad for money, I would think she would have claimed that money right away. I can't imagine not wanting to help my kids out if I were able to. I don't understand what the husband has to do with this. Did she not get a divorce when he left her for the other woman? Would he even know about it if she were to claim this money? Is it an inheritance or something?
1 person likes this
@JudgeIronFist (2472)
• Singapore
19 Nov 10
This is in fact maddening. How can a mother be so selfish and so twisted as to shift the anger of her husband towards her children? I mean, when her children had difficulties, she was so mean to leave them in the lurch? If for me, I'll never ever forgive her. She should just reflect on her wrongdoings.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72535)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
I can't understand how this mother could be so selfish. I can definitely say she's being selfish when she hid this fact from her children just because of personal reasons. She only thinks about herself and no one else. I cannot blame you for being angry at her because I would be too when I am in that situation.
I could never do this to my son. I could never be a selfish mom!
1 person likes this
@rovered777 (649)
• United States
18 Nov 10
Your feelings are really reasonable, as I too would feel that way. The mother in law has already spent much of her life with good people, and the fact that she doesn't trust any of her kids to bequeath the money is ridiculous. Why would she take something, if she can't pay back. Also, there probably have been many generous moments between your family and hers, and that should make her more receptive to sharing. Although she may not spend any of her money on you, I think there will be a time she will regret it. Usually, all mothers would want to see their children better off, but in this case I'm suspecting that she doesn't know the true extent of her life. 3 years is too long for a person to lie. She may have been feeling that there are many more things to use this money on, just the way new home buyers feel.
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
19 Nov 10
My only wish is that if she die she can use her money to make her life more comfortable.and help her other children have a better life.MY observation base on our conversation before i think she would rather die tahn get her pension and share it to the people she despise.
@prarich (1)
• India
19 Nov 10
It is the mother's choice what she does with her money.But yes if she did not help her children when they needed it the most, the children can decide how they want to be towards the mother.They may feel cheated but the fact is that she still remains their mother cannot be changed.They should just do their duty towards her and carry on with their lives.
