Do you wanna be like your Mom or not?
By banetnet17
@banetnet17 (15)
Philippines
November 25, 2010 1:01am CST
I have a mom who is very authoritarian and a disciplinarian. Despite her religious background and goodness to other people, she forgot to notice that she is already hurting me. When I was still small, every time my brother and I had a fight and it was my brother who started it, my mom would spank me. When I ask her why, she simply replied, "Because you didn't consider the fact that he is younger than you and you should be patient with him...". Another incident happened wherein my brother did something wrong and still my mom blamed it all on me and told me, "Why didn't you teach your brother to behave properly, you are the eldest after all!". There was also a time where I got hit just because my mother thought I was to blame then, later realizing that my brother did it but she can no longer correct the fact that I got spanked already despite the fact that I did nothing wrong. She just said Sorry but hey....sorry is just another word. What about the spank? This continued until the day my mom died and that was the year after I got married. That experience with my mom, made me swear to myself that I will never ever become like my mom. Don't get me wrong on this okay? I love my mom's cooking and I love her! I just don't wanna be like her. Not like that to my kids at least. I promised myself that I will treat my kids with equality and that before I spank them I will make sure first who is at fault in the situation. Now, I have kids of my own, 3 boys to be exact. I still try to do my best but I know that there are times when I spank them just because I'm so tired. I really hope I will do better next time and try not to spank them anymore. I really hate to be like my mom. Do you have those times when you feel like you are losing it and you just seem to fail as a mom....I hope I'm not a bad mom to my kids. What about you? Can you tell me what you think? Do you wanna be like your mom?..... or not?
2 people like this
10 responses
@lady1993 (27224)
• Philippines
25 Nov 10
My mom is also a bit like yours. She spanks me before but not anymore- I can't even remember when she stopped that..but it didn't really hurt and it was my fault too. there are some traits of my mom that I would like to have but there are also some that I don't want. I would like to be like her, stands up for what she believes in; really fun to talk with, resourceful, and a good mother.. 
@banetnet17 (15)
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
Standing up for what you believe in is one of the things that I like about my mom...She is strong-willed and brave. I admire her courage to face trials and it's what helped me to be what I am now. I learned from her how to be a fighter in life. I guess being put down in the past honed me to become strong and courageous in times of adversity and conflict. For that, i thank my mom!
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
I understand your sentiments and i admire you for realizing some wrong sides of it.
While others who has bad experiences will do the same thing to their kids (like revenge or something,to outburst their hidden feeling and the likes)
In your case,the good thing is you know how does it feels how to be treated like how your mom treated you before.
And knowing the feeling,you don't want your kids to experience same fate like yours.
I don't have anything against my mom except for being unfair when it comes to choosing religion (that's the only thing that made conflict in our relationship,but now it's slowly taken aback)
Maybe my mom also realized that,i am not into a bad faith/religion as she can see the better changes in me with my new religion ( i am not a bad one either,but becomes a much better person though)
I love my mom,and i will follow some of her ways,but not everything of course esp with individual choice or freedom to choose,as long as it's not a bad choice.
I will always be a great help to my kids and will give them advices,but i will never be a dictator to them.
Have a good day
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
11 Dec 10
yes,being a great mom is something that we (mothers) can achieve in this life much precious than any honor/medal or recognition from our society.
And being a mother is the most noble profession on earth (i agree to this quote)
have a great day always
@banetnet17 (15)
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
Very well said....exactly what I had in mind! While not all can have great moms, I still believe that everyone has a choice and that choice must be made by you as a person. Whatever happens to your life, it's all because of you and not because your mom or dad beat you...to sum it all up, we just need to respect one another as a person....a unique individual with the freedom of choice and the power to be whatever or whoever you wanna be. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this subject. It is very much appreciated...God bless! Thanks to all who commented on my post....happy posting!
1 person likes this
@flagella08 (5065)
• Philippines
25 Nov 10
we share the same sentiments but my i still have my mom until now. i am already married and i see to it that i have my separate home. we are not that far, just a couple of blocks away but the fact that she's still doing the same with me from the beginning even i have my own family already is a different story. i used to grow up with people shouting everytime they speak and that's what i wanna break with mine now. i am trying my best not to copy that. in general, i don't hate my mom that much since she's a good provider in fact she's the one i saw who sacrificed for my studies. there is also another issue with my dad and i am making another post of it.
@banetnet17 (15)
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
We do have a lot in common. I also have issues with my dad. Sometimes, bad things in life are like chains that prevent us from moving on. That chain needs to be broken and that's what we both intent to do, right? Just do our best to be good moms and to raise our children to become good persons not just citizens...there is a big difference in becoming a good person and a good citizen. A good citizen follows the rules because they are obligated to do it. A good person follows rules and do good deeds not because they want to be acknowledged or recognized for their act but because they know in their hearts that it is the right thing to do and it is what God wants them to become. tc!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
25 Nov 10
I am like my mother and I am proud to say that I am like her. My mother was always one of the most caring people that I've ever known. She was always a person that was able to balance being an authoritarian and also being a friend and confidant to her children and that is what I am trying to be with my own children as well. In addition to that, she is a very giving person and a trusting person as well. I know that I am the exact same way. There are some attributes that I inherited from my mother that aren't the best habits, but all in all I'm very proud to be like my mother.
@banetnet17 (15)
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
Not everyone gets to have a good mom and I'm happy that yours is. I'm sure she's proud to have a daughter like you. Keep on doing what you do and continue making your mom proud of you...Cheers!
@wangleigh (13)
• China
25 Nov 10
I feel i have similar situation as you.my parents always focued on my shool scores which was decisive factor on how they treated me.they didn't care my feeling ,i hoped they could give me ecouragement and support.In spite of this,i still love them ,whatever they do is for my good.maybe they have not used the right methods.i want to be like my mom .and i will find more sutiable way to teach my child.
@banetnet17 (15)
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
I agree with you! There are traits of our moms' that we wanna copy but still there are certain traits that we might wanna discard so as to break the chain of ever doing the same mistakes that our parents did...God bless!
@gokulgk (4)
• India
25 Nov 10
MOM is a beautiful word isn't it?...my mom seems to be more caring and affectionate to everyone.When i got to speak about her,she is a fantastic lady is the words i will say ...my mom looks too playful to kids and she use to enjoy every time with kids...and at every time i use to admire her for braveness of handling hard things when it comes to her...and really i wish to be like more brave and playful to kids like my mom...
@banetnet17 (15)
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
Indeed, such a beautiful word to pertain to the greatest women who brought us into this world. I'm glad you see your mom as a great individual and a fantastic person. Not everybody gets to have a mom like yours so you must treasure every minute that you spend with her. Best regards!
@buggles64 (2709)
• United States
6 Dec 10
My Mom is a caring wonderful person, but I do not want to be like my Mom. It has nothing to do with how I was raised or how fairly I was treated, because when I was a child my Mom was okay. No, she didn't play with me or do a lot of other things that mother and daughters enjoy, but it didn't bother me, because I thought she was sweet, kind and beautiful. The reason I don't want to be like my Mom is because of the last 10 years, but yet shadows of the Mom I had when I was younger, often can be seen peaking around the corner.
@shia88 (4571)
• Malaysia
25 Nov 10
Hi,
I don't think I can be like my mother as we are two
different person and we both have different thinking and personality.
I do know that my mother is a strict person,but she loves me alot.
and I do love her alot and glad to be her daughter. She educate me well and
brought me up to be a useful person.I appreciated her caring and love to me.
But I never think of behaving like my mother although I am a mother for my
son. I just want to be myself and I have my own guidelines in educating and teaching my own son. I don't think I am going to follow the way my mother did
before to me.
Of course, I do like to eat my mother's home cooked meal and that is the most
I want to learn and follow her instruction. I do hope she can be my teacher in
cooking. But too bad I don't have much chance to learn from her as I only have
chance to go back to my hometown once a year.
Lastly, I would like to say " I miss my mother alot" and she is definitely a great mother for me. As for I myself, I am trying to be a good mother for my son.
@banetnet17 (15)
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
I miss my mom as well...I lost her before I gave birth to my first-born and until now, I can't believe she left us without even having the chance to see at least one of my sons. Anyway, I feel the same way as you do, I miss my mom's home-cooked meals because she is a good chef. I love her cooking!
@hanni711 (243)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
I admire my mom in some other ways and there are also some of her character that I didn't approve.Our parents have different ways of disciplining us and at times we don't really understand why they did such things to the point we got hurt. I just want to be like my mom in areas where she showed her strenght in facing difficulties. I can say that I also fail as a mom in some areas of my life but I never consider myself a bad mom because I see to it that I make up to my mistakes.I just keep learning from it.
