Have U liked or loved 2 people at the same time?
By smiley83
@smiley83 (1534)
Malaysia
November 26, 2010 3:41am CST
Hey friends...
Well, I don't know what is actually happening to me at the moment!! I feel so confused and lost at the same time!
I used to like someone few months ago.. he is a family friend.. then, another person came into my life last week!! he came to visit us for a week and left..it was for a short vacation with whom my breath been taken away!! my gosh, I don't know how to deal in such a situation?
Am I in love? or it is just a lingering feeling that would disappear through the time!!
Have you been in such a situation before?
2 people like this
18 responses
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 10
I think many people will have feeling to someone they like even though they have been in relationship with someone else. It is normal as a human with feeling. When you meet the right one, you will probably fall in love with him at first sight. I have encounter this situation before but since I already have girlfriend, I have to keep the feeling to myself and try to forget her. At that time, it is so suffocated. At last, I manage to overcome the feeling. I think it is not fare to your current boyfriend if you break off with him just because you fall in love with another man.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 10
awh gosh yeah it is really hard though...but u must be brave enough to never have let such a lingering feeling affect ur current relationship!! awh that is so good of you indeed... I hope I would do the same thing..I'm feeling much better but, still, he comes into my mind quite a lot :( but, I'm trying to overcome the whole thing...
thanks ;)
@Cherish14 (2693)
• Philippines
9 Dec 10
hi there, yeah i have felt that too. it was a very long time ago. there were 3 guys coming to me and making me feel they like me, all three at the same time. one wasnt too serious so i wasnt really entertaining him, i ignored his messages and just pretended i was too busy but i just wanted us to be friends. then guy number two, he was like very aggressive, he always asks me on a date, and then i wasnt replying to his messages too so he gave me a cellphone LOL to make sure i reply and pick up his calls hahahah it was so funny. i did not want the phone but he insisted, so i kept the phone but still wasnt talking to him that much.
then guy number 3, he was just so simple, very sweet and tries very hard to speak my language since he was born and raised in the US. i was then starting to like guy number 3 since he is just simple and not aggressive. he respected me a lot. when he told me he was going back home to the states already, i told him that i love him too because he is just so nice and everything.
i told guys number 1 and 2, number 1 did not care LOL but i am glad he never cared LOL, number 2 got so mad he wanted his phone back hhahahahah, before i could give it back to him, he was like i paid for all our dates!! WHAT THE HELL is wrong with guys like number 2? guys like him dont deserve to have a girlfriend. so what i did was throw him the phone, it was broken, totalLy broken because i was so mad when he said that. I am so glad i did not choose him because he has so much attitude problem.
i am just so happy i chose guy number 3, and 6 years and a half later....... WE ARE STILL TOGETHER :) he is my first boyfriend and I Love HIM so much :) and we are now planning to move to US in two years now after i finish working on my papers :) he loves me so much and just wants to give me everything, i am so lucky :)
sorry for the very long story hehe hope you learn something from my story.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
10 Dec 10
awh that is soooooooo sweet...i really enjoyed reading your comment ;) it is so touchy...that means the guy you are traveling with and you are planning to have in Hong Kong is the same guy of number 3 *_^
LOL ur story is similar to mine..but for the time being i'm still confused as i don't know whether he does love me or they were just lingering feelings...
but honestly speaking, these days I'm very much confused and sad about wot happened in my result as u already know about it :( although I do miss him as well but I decided to stay away from Facebook these days...no matter how much i miss him...I'm not sure if he misses me too!!
so, how possible for the two of u to communicate? i mean, distance relationship is hard and this is what i'm facing... how often do u guys contact each other? is he a US citizen? I'm sorry for asking so many questions but i'm just interested as it seems a bit similar to my case..
As for your number 2; Waw he gave u a cellphone and then wanted u to pay for the dates hahaha he is sooooo rude ugh..I don't like this type of guys as well awww :D
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
11 Dec 10
awh I'm really sooooooo happy for you dearie...May God bless both of you...really wish u all the best and hope you guys be together forever :)
yeah, it is hard when it comes to distance relationship...but that is good that you guys are keeping it up all the time...that means he is not a Filipino too?
but yeah, you should not let that rude guy destroy or affect ur relationship..just let him speak to himself without paying any attention..and good that u told ur boyfriend about it..being honest in the relationship is the most important thing..so, keep it up ;)
as for me; the guy of my number 2 is a family member but they are back to the US..I did like him so much but i'm confused as whether he does like me or not..I mean, we did have such a great week together and we did feel for each other..when he got back, he told me that he is missing me and planning to come back again to have his next vacation with us...
but the thing is that, I messaged him and he didn't reply..he is more into chatting while i'm more into messaging as i'm not online all the time and due to the time difference as well! so, I wonder how are we supposed to talk!!
as for the first one, he is sweet as well but i didn't spend as much as with the second one..today my parents are going to a wedding where the first guy would be surely coming as the groom is a mutual friend..but, I don't think i would go as i'm scared that i might ruin the whole thing! i have a mixed feeling for both of them but sometimes I feel more for the second one !!!
awh God i'm very much confused :( the first guy didn't say any promising words while the second one did and he is even coming again but he didn't message me!! and wondering how to talk if both of us are living far away and busy :((
@Cherish14 (2693)
• Philippines
10 Dec 10
yeah he the same person, and we have been together for 6 years and a half now :) yeah its a long distance relationship and we talk everyday, before he sleeps, when he is at work, when he wake up and every way possible, we call each other on skype, im online all the time :) but when i am out or when he is out, we buy phone cards and we text each other. before he got in his job now, he comes home to me twice a year and spends more than a month with me but now, only once a year because of his job. yeah i know its very very tough, i miss him all the time but it is okay, because we are planning to move together two years from now and be together there in US. yeah he is so sweet. i did make a good choice, he is my first boyfriend, and hoping to be the last. i want him forever :)
yeah i hate number 2 because he is so rude, he gives a girl everything so he could have me but no, i dont need all those material things. what inside the heart is whats most important. even up to now he talks to people that i used to be his girlfriend eeeeeww!! i told my boyfriend about that and my boyfriend is just so mad at him and wants to give him a lesson but i said, lets not be bothered by him, we are happy and we will show him that no one and nothing can break us apart. my boyfriend is a big guy, he is so tall and if he sees that number 2 he will surely knock him out LOL but my boyfriend is a very good man, and respects girls, not like number 1 and number 2.
oh and yeah he is a US Citizen, he was born and raised there in New York. i cant wait to be with him this coming New Years Eve and then be with him there in New York after i finish all my papers after 2 years. :)
i hope you find your true love too :) dont give in right away, there are a lot of guys but the one will just come to you before you know it :) know the person first, he doesnt have to be rich and give you all these gifts, what is important is he give you his heart :)
@alottodo (3056)
• Australia
27 Nov 10
You can like a lot of people and love them, like in loving your friends,and family, now if you are talking about " falling" in love now that is different! some people confuse "falling" in love with friendship and the feeling of warms the person irradiate towards you. I think when you meet the "one" you are to fall in love with you will know and you will not have to question your self about it. Give your self time and enjoy your friends for what they are just friends.
@kharlav (1669)
• Philippines
29 Nov 10
I dont think that your inlove. maybe you are just infatuated, because love dont come around so fast. Anyway, I used to like 2 people at the same time, I used to like the very close friend of the person I was dating with. lol. He was cuter than my date so I liked him even more. Sad thing was, he didnt look at me the same way to show respect to his friend whom i was dating.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
2 Dec 10
awww yeah that is really hard...he could have probably managed to control his emotions to respect his friend who was dating you...that is so nice and it shows the real meaning of friendship..but you are really too brave to control ur emotion to save your current relationship!! I'm trying to do so but it seems really hard to forget the second guy :(
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
26 Nov 10
Hello friend, in the past, i was often in that situation, because i worked with different people and specially men with their own business who were charming and had great manners or attitude. The one which could help me to feel passion for someone was not the way that person looks, not how much money he has, but the confidence. I always loved men who had great confidence - not too much, but enough to show respect for the other people. I could notice that every time. Some people were not pretty, not so intelligent, but they had great positive and nice radiation and i could feel it by myself.
The good moment is that i always tried to help them and i always had great relations with this people, who i worked with, because they were my clients. When the has past, i could know them better and my passion was dying really fast, not because they disappointed me, but because i could understand more about them. When you have little information for a nice man, you always are curious and interested to know more and more about that person. And if you know that your moments with that person are limited, you want more and more time to get to know the same person better and better. But i am sure that if you got the chance to know some of these guys better, your passion will go low and low. Nothing is for whole life, only the one you choose to spend your life with. But before taking that decision i'm sure you will spend more time for thinking about different habits and qualities of the same person.
This, what you feel now, i can call passion for the unknown. 
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 10
meaning that, the more you know them, the less feelings you would have for them!! but I think you are right as I should have sufficient time which I don't think I have! In which, as for the first one, we didn't meet up again. his brother met us coincidentally when we were having a dinner with the second guy :( this situation really worsen the whole thing as my feelings got confused and lost between the two!
But, yeah , you are right; I should have to spend enough time with them to decide... it is the most difficult thing as both of them are not here at the moment and i'm back to college :( my friend advised me to just wait and try to focus on my study instead. but she is praying that the second one would be the one for me.. I don know :(
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
26 Nov 10
I can include something about knowing the others .... When you know someone very good, you will be able to make your decision easy, because you will know his bad qualities, not only the good of them.
When you stay that way, after one meet, may be you think .. he is so amazing, he is so charming, he sounds really intelligent and interesting, like he has a lot of experience and he knows so much. But even if he has so much great qualities, you know nothing about the bad things, aren't you?
I can imagine how you feel, you want to see each of the guys, you want to have some personal emotions with them, life diner, coffee, movie or something like that. But when you start to know them better, your passion will become little cold and you will see, that they are just normal people, as the others, who has bad and good views... They might have great qualities, but the bad qualities can be much more than you saw.
Just try to have whole point of view, i mean with knowing some more both of them, with having some experience with them, just make your own investigation who is who and this is how everything will be fixed.
I can imagine how you feel, you want to see each of the guys, you want to have some personal emotions with them, life diner, coffee, movie or something like that. But when you start to know them better, your passion will become little cold and you will see, that they are just normal people, as the others, who has bad and good views... They might have great qualities, but the bad qualities can be much more than you saw.
Just try to have whole point of view, i mean with knowing some more both of them, with having some experience with them, just make your own investigation who is who and this is how everything will be fixed. @smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
27 Nov 10
Aha...you are absolutely right in everything you said ;) yeah I should have enough time to spend with them although it is difficult to get that as each one is living a bit far away and I myself already back to college since yesterday :(
but yeah as for the first one, I don't knw anything about his other side as the only thing i know about is his success! but I don't knw anything about his real behavior.. I don't knw his weaknesses or anything..I only knew about the external appearance of him that he is a successful man who appears to be very charming and interesting...
while for the other one, he was with us for almost a week and I knew a lot about him and that is why I sometimes feel pissed off by some actions then, I find myself back to him again ugh it is really confusing...
but, I do hope the time would play a role in this issue as I really need to clear my mind of this issue...I hate what i'm feeling at the moment :(
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
Toss a Coin...not because I'm thinking you could choose either but as you toss that coin, you will know exactly what's in your heart...try it
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
27 Nov 10
It helped me^^
You'll know who you want to choose because as the coin is up in the air you'll hear yourself wish for the your desired result...
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
26 Nov 10
no i haven't... i don't fall in love easily... having a crush, yes... i have had many when i was a teenager... but falling in love, i only had fallen with 3 guys in my whole life and the last one becomes my hubby now... :-) i think what you are feeling now is not love... but just a crush that will fade away with time... this is what i think... take care and have a nice day...
@derek_a (10873)
•
27 Nov 10
Yes, this is something that happened to me many times escpecially in my teenage years and into my 20s. I think it was part of a phase I was going through that was part of my own development. It can be very confusing as I remember. I thought I knew love, but that wasn't what I was really "knowing". It was more like my hormones developing and that is always confusing! It is no good me saying, "don't worry about it, it will resolve itself" because emotions are not that intelligent, but nature and evolution is and we are here to learn and only experience can teach us the lessons we are here to learn. _Derek
_Derek
@Susanayako1988 (350)
• China
27 Nov 10
No,I will only love one people whole-heartedly at a time. Only in this way, you can feel the wonderful love yourself.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
26 Nov 10
Hi smiley: Maybe it might be possible that a pewrson love two different people at the same time. In my case I haven0t passed through a situation like the one you are sharing with us but my advice would be that you have to evaluate your feelings and what you really want. How about your stability and the strenght of the first person you think you love. Maybe the answer is in your heart.
ALVARO
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
27 Nov 10
hey Alvaro!! it is nice to see u again after so long ;)hope you are doing good...have you graduated? as the last time we talked, you told me that you are about to graduate from law department, right!! ;)I hope things are good for you...
well, my heart is confused!! I don't know what do I really want!! at the beginning, I was fine happy expecting the first guy to approach soon as we meet and we even met the family..things were fine till my second one appeared last week who changed the overall plan!! my parents do prefer the second one as he is a relative..while the first one is just a family friend..In fact, I don't knw much about that family friend but I know a lot about the second one as we went out everyday and he stayed at our house as he is a relative member and things went fine...however, I'm very much confused between the two!!
I seiously hate to have such a mixed feeling...before, I was free with no one and was hoping that i would be loved, however, i didn't expect to be loved by two people at the same time!!I can't make up a decision!! it is really hard ;(
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
hello sugar! i missed you being in here... well,i seldom post here nowadays.but i have seen you have started a nice topic which interests me.
it's good to have guys to like or to love (if you really called it love immediately).
but i say,love is not worth to be called love when you really seen the person only once. you have to know them more and be with them more to be able to sa that you really loved them. if it's only like,well,i can say,i think i have liked to guys at a certain time. but i can't remember it anymore.it's just like and likes can be called crushes as well. there's nothing wrong to have crushes. for it can be a way to know them more and want to be with them more. but sometimes,time only permits us to know a person more. lucky if we have the chance to bump with them someday if they really are not within our vicinity areas. or they would have the chance to want to know you more as well.love can't be gained overnight.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
27 Nov 10
hey babe...yeah missed u too...I didn't started with any discussions since last semester!
but this time I thought of posting this particular topic as I'm very much confused toward what had just happened to me last week as the second guy met him last week for the entire week and that is why i became so attached to him..so, many things happened between us that can tell we both liked each other and we knew a lot about each other as we lived in the same house (he is a cousin) while such a movement has somehow disturbed my feelings for the previous one whom I thought I would end up with him but I don't know...when i'm with the second, I would feel so happy forgetting about everything else..when i'm thinking about the first, my mind would include the second one as well! It is like, I can't think properly!!
I'm not sure if it is love, crush or whatsoever Vivi...I'm really confused...a lot of friends advised me to stay away for sometime as the time would tell..but, I'm not sure...
In this case, I have to stay away of Facebook as he is there ;( ugh I seriously don knw :(
@huqh123 (182)
• China
27 Nov 10
yes, this situation may happen. I think we should not hold love for these two people together. you know, there are differences between love and like. you may like him or something else at this special situation. but from your inner heart, he can not know this clearly. Time passes, you will know who is the one you realy love. so chrish who you love and who loves you. when you both hold affection for each other, you can have a happy comfortable life. the beloved one will untake the time. so cherish the one who cares you for a long time. short-time friends won't last forever.
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
26 Nov 10
Hi dear,
In short, you like both of them. Now you are confuse that with whom to go ahead? Well, here, our choice has no meaning and you should decide and to go ahead. You only know both the guys and you are already leaned to someone few months back and someone else take over to this place now. Probably the second one has some more added advantages and that may be the reason why you suddenly attracted by the second one.
Now the choice is yours and have to balance both the guys and find the goods and bad about them. Also, please note that if you are already announced with the first person and he is in love with you, ignore the second one and go on with the one you preferred first. Again, the choice is yours and what about the second one who made so shaky to you. Find which one will be the most suited to you and go for it – this is my independent view and the decision is, of course is yours.
Best of luck.
Thank-s
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 10
well, the second person is a relative member, but the first one is a family friend.. each one has something unique, however, the second one attracted me more although he did piss me off, yet, i feel so good when i'm with him..I don know as I feel relaxed when i meet the first one! ugh it is so confusing :((
@ergfortes (516)
• Philippines
26 Nov 10
It is in my nature to get attracted easily to people who are sweet and thoughtful, and this had made me fall for two guys at the same time as well. It was a little bit confusing when you try to figure who stands out more. When this happened to me, i try to keep my distance to both and see whom i would miss more. then i'd realize who i want more.
@livedevil (69)
• India
26 Nov 10
i have a simple solution...
Do this.. you will get your answer on your own...
Do not keep contact with anyone of the both for 3 months in anyway possible!
Caution:- You have to be very serious about this!!
your answer will be here:
On the last day of third month, you can feel it..
The One whom you miss the MOST.. is the one you really love.
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 10
Aha...do you think it is possible?
Ok I'd do it then starting from tomorrow as it is night over here...I'd try to keep myslf focused on my study..but, is it possible to talk about it with my friends? or should I remove it completely from my mind?
Wow, it is gonna be really hard though...but, I would try it out...
@bnd8884 (98)
• India
26 Nov 10
first of all if the photo in you profile is yours than i will tell you that you are very beautiful, if some guy will see you he will surely will be attracted towards you and try to be best with you, so in response you will feel same about him so if you are confused take some time see them and try to figure out that do you really love one of them or its only a physical attraction
@smiley83 (1534)
• Malaysia
26 Nov 10
LOL thanks Mr. Been *_*
well, yeah a lot of friends and even here in mylot suggested that to me..but the think is that, i'm somehow touched! i'm completely touched for both of them...but, yeah I should get to know them more and then i'd hope to be able to manage the whole situation :(
