Almost a year later

I know this feeling because I am a step parent. Same problem, different kids and I don't understand it either. A phone call is such a simple thing, but you'd think visiting your kids would be a simple thing too, especially if you start boasting about the friends you travel to visit but you won't come see your kids. I suppose the only good thing now is that we don't hear from her ever, now that the kids are grown up, except it was rather odd that when our son moved out, a few weeks later she was calling repeatedly, in the middle of the day - you know, when people are at WORK and SCHOOL and whatnot, leaving messages asking if he was there. I figured for sure he would have TOLD her he was moving out and maybe where he was moving, but her messages seemed to indicate otherwise. How old is your step son? The kids are now 19 and 21, so I don't worry too much about them now, but when they were young, it was harder. Mom would promise to come and they'd get all ready.... and nothing... and get hungry, and grouchy, and fall asleep in front of the tv waiting. She'd usually call hours after they had fallen asleep and say she wasn't coming - as if we hadn't figured that out already. At that time she didn't even live more than an hour away, so there was really no excuse to not call us and say she wasn't coming 5 hours before....

That would make me sick as well. My husband learned when he was 16 years old that the father that had raised him all of his life is not his biological father. When he was 18 years old he decided that he wanted to meet his biological father, he was never able to find him but did find one of his sisters who proceeded to slam the door in his face. I personally think that if you are person enough to have part in the conception of a child then you should be person enough to have some role in their life.

it is just a shame that a mum can treat her son like that... i pity the son that misses the mum so much especially if he is still very young... he still needs the mum's love which he is not getting at the moment... i don't know how old your stepson is... i hope his mum will realise her mistake soon and pay more attention to his son... take care and have a nice day...

Some people just aren't that maternal. While you appear happy to take another women's kids under your wing and look after them. Some people don't have that instinct, some people don't want children. While some of these people don't get pregnant, others have abortions, others are pro-life and will have the children and leave most of the parenting up to the other parent. Leaving the parenting up to one parent is usually a male trait and women end up with the children. And while it is sad that not all parents want to be part of their child's life, at least your stepson has a loving family around him whether they are biological or not.

How sad really to read this as the issue here is the little guy and how he will be feeling and be molded in the future over this. It is unfortunate that a mother truly does not try harder as there are truly no excuses for her to evade herself especially during special days for him. You keep doing what you are doing, as he gets older explain to him that he has to be loyal to his heart and not to you and or his father. Try hard to assure no negativity about her, see the way I see it is that he will always remember how sweet you all are and how she is the one that left him. Stuff like this that she is doing is only going to back fire on her in the future. By you all reminding him how special he is and how much love you all have for him he will surely understand. Too sad that parents like this mother do not realize the harm they are causing. I wish you all well as a family and hope that he continues to be the happy little guy always.