When your partner is not at home...
By eshaan
@eshaan (6188)
India
November 30, 2010 10:44pm CST
This is probably my first discussion in the morning hours...i don't get this opportunity....though i use computers in the morning for few minutes, i am not allowed to type...as my hubby doesn't like it...so even if i feel like starting a discussion in the morning i am kind of afraid...as he will start the lectures like....you better utilize morning hours for exercise etc...instead of sitting at computers...etc etc...i know that he is right...but sometimes you like to break the rules 
today he is out of city and i have spared the time ....from making tea 2-3 times which he needs...and here i have started a new discussion...what is it, that you would like to take the opportunity to do when he/she is not with you?...what spares your time when your partner is not there?....do u do something else from your routine? or you are just normal?...tell me if u don't mind sharing....
today he is out of city and i have spared the time ....from making tea 2-3 times which he needs...and here i have started a new discussion...what is it, that you would like to take the opportunity to do when he/she is not with you?...what spares your time when your partner is not there?....do u do something else from your routine? or you are just normal?...tell me if u don't mind sharing....3 people like this
20 responses
@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
1 Dec 10
HI eshaan,
In my case, it is me who stays at home and she goes out on her job... So most of the time I am alone at the house. When we are working on some assignment, my friends and me work from my place and that keeps me occupied. But when there is no assignment at hand, I am all alone and I try out several things apart from Internet...
I sleep during the day time for about 30 - 40 minutes, read the newspaper at the day time (not in the morning which I usually do), prepare my lunch if what is available is not of my interest and I am in a mood to try out the chef in me, Go out to the roof and have some good exposure to the sun (mostly during winters when there is the sunshine but it is not that scorching).
That is some things that I try out with during the day time... for others, I am on the internet or with my PC playing a game or anything else.
Cheers,
theSids.
@eshaan (6188)
• India
1 Dec 10
yes that is the way we can keep our time for all the things....but for husbands ...if we sit in the morning and then again at night when he comes...he finds me at computer...so he feels that i am busy all the day at computers...
he doesn't think that who cooks food both the times...clothes though cleaned by washing machine...need time to spread them and again bring them back...kids studies, teas in between and and and......the list is endless...so i have to steal time from my routine to be at mylot...
he doesn't think that who cooks food both the times...clothes though cleaned by washing machine...need time to spread them and again bring them back...kids studies, teas in between and and and......the list is endless...so i have to steal time from my routine to be at mylot...@thesids (22180)
• Bhubaneswar, India
1 Dec 10
Yes, I can understand that point very well. It happens with me and my wife too In the morning when she leaves for her College, she finds me on the PC reading comic strips.... then when she returns back in the evening I am at the PC doing my assignments or anything on it. Then after dinner she goes to bed... and I still am on the PC... When I reach the bed (sometime around 1:00 am) she says - So you finally kissed your first wife goodnight and then we laugh out at that... Cant help it.
But I have a great respect for my wife and all women out there on the planet... I respect them for a lot of reasons - they work 10 times more than us (in terms of physical and mental labor and take up a lot of stress) that is beyond our capacity and one small but the biggest reason - they are mothers... Nothing on the planet can even bring us near to them. (My Opinion and View).
Cheers,
theSids.
In the morning when she leaves for her College, she finds me on the PC reading comic strips.... then when she returns back in the evening I am at the PC doing my assignments or anything on it. Then after dinner she goes to bed... and I still am on the PC... When I reach the bed (sometime around 1:00 am) she says - So you finally kissed your first wife goodnight and then we laugh out at that... Cant help it.
But I have a great respect for my wife and all women out there on the planet... I respect them for a lot of reasons - they work 10 times more than us (in terms of physical and mental labor and take up a lot of stress) that is beyond our capacity and one small but the biggest reason - they are mothers... Nothing on the planet can even bring us near to them. (My Opinion and View).
Cheers,
theSids.1 person likes this
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
1 Dec 10
Hi dear,
It is an interesting topic. First of all, I will be more happy that when someone is not around. Being in my own world. Now how you got more freedom like – whatever you can do, the way you think. Also, if he is around, you are bound to be strict with certain things, at least the daily routines. Here now, you need not to bother anyone and this laziness and absent mindedness has its own beauty.
Enjoy it till he comes back. Once he is back it is to be neat and tidy, at least for his own wish. I think everyone must be little relaxed and feel cool with our own way of life for a day or two. However, being with such days for a long period also may hurt. So, this short break can be enjoyable and pleasing. So, tell him that once he is back, that you enjoyed your absence by living your own way an d- find what would be his comments!!!
Best regards,
Thank-s
2 people like this
@eshaan (6188)
• India
1 Dec 10
yes surely its an enjoyment being ourselves and behaving the way we want....its just 1 day short political tour so he will be back tomo....maybe half day i get more
but next big break i am decided...to get the Christmas holidays....and this time it will be he to be left alone...
but next big break i am decided...to get the Christmas holidays....and this time it will be he to be left alone...
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
2 Dec 10
Hi dear,
Enjoy yourself. Being alone and be ourself for some time is a good feeling and for a change, it is alwys preferrable.
Thank-s
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
10 Dec 10
Hi sweety...in our culture, a wife gets to do what she wants and a husband respects her wishes and decisions and does not speak down to her. Each member of the couple is equal and they share love before anything else.
I live on my own so I get to do what I want whenever I want. My animals rule me though because I have to look after them and answer to their demands...that's because they cannot look after themselves and are totally dependant on me.
@eshaan (6188)
• India
10 Dec 10
all western people here have taken it too much seriously...i think there was some mistake in the words i expressed...but we do it for each other though we may not like the thing totally...a simple question to u..when u can attend your animals...why can't u attend hubby?...i just enjoyed being myself ...that's it...that was not that much serious....why i can't get much time on computers is i have to make tea for him and when he gets up..give him newspaper etc...all this i do becoz my family is dependent on me..and i take pride in making them happy...but yes...i also enjoy being myself sometimes...
@chaitra001 (3278)
• Bangalore, India
1 Dec 10
Hi eshaan.. Nice topic dear I liked it lol..
First thing I like to be very very lazy whne he is out of station.. I skip cooking lol.. and I like to spend most of my time online mylotting.. which he dont like because since I am working in software field I should be there in front of computer full day so he dont want me to sit after my work also.. lol..
2 people like this
@eshaan (6188)
• India
1 Dec 10
i can't skip cooking dear...or else it would have been great change for me ..i have my brother in laws and also my 2 kids...so i can't neglect cooking....
yes they care for us...and i think if we live alone for longer time...we will ourselves become disciplined, as u can't skip important parts of our life..but yes...when someone says...i becomes like a compulsion for us....
..i have my brother in laws and also my 2 kids...so i can't neglect cooking....
yes they care for us...and i think if we live alone for longer time...we will ourselves become disciplined, as u can't skip important parts of our life..but yes...when someone says...i becomes like a compulsion for us....
1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
1 Dec 10
hello eshaan,
Yes,it's nice to break rules esp when it's our husband's rules (hahaha)
Nah,why not,what's wrong with computer then?
But your husband is right,do some exercise first and then sit in front of the pc 
Have a good day 
Have a good day 1 person likes this
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
hello Jo and esh,
i am not much active in messenger.
most of the time when i am online here in mylot,i just open my messenger and leave a note "leave your message..i'm sleeping hehehe"
then,while mylotting i am having interaction with my batchmate (32years ago) in FACEBOOK.
We have this community in Facebook where we can chat (my batchmates)
Sometimes i also chat in Orkut,most of my Indian friends i've met them through Orkut
@Jotomy (6322)
• India
1 Dec 10
Hi jai how are you?
yes jai, even my husband also will tell the same, sitting all the time infront of the computer is not good for health as well as for eyes also. I will not spend much time actually whenever i am free only i will be in mylot and messenger so that i can interact here and as well with my friends too.
2 people like this
@Jotomy (6322)
• India
1 Dec 10
Hi eshaan, yes me too, whenever he will not there at home i will be in mylot or i will try to chat with my friends. Because now a days he is not keeping interest on me if i do computer works, so i am just avoiding computer works when he will be there at home. He is scolding me nowadays if i hangout with the computer. As a woman / wife to him i must respect his words, so whenever he is not there i will be here in mylot.
Have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@eshaan (6188)
• India
1 Dec 10
yes Jotomy...we have to take care of their likes and dislikes...that is the way the married life can be full of joy or else each person will be lonely even after being committed to each other...
@jaiho.....
are u married or single yet ? i think you will unedrstand when u get married if u r single...
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
1 Dec 10
hello Jo,
Well,i spend my work in front of the computer (too bad),that's an 8 hours of working in front of the pc.
I don't have any choice,it's my job.
And when i get home,still i a here in front of my laptop doing mylot =p,
can't resist mylotting and i don't want to miss mylot friend's discussion as well.
have a good day dear
1 person likes this
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
2 Dec 10
i do lots of things when my hubby is at work... mylotting, surving the nets, watching dramas, cleaning the house, cooking, reading books, sleeping, window shopping or even just taking a stroll outside my house... i just find things to entertain myself... take care and have a nice day...
1 person likes this
@silverglint (2000)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
Usually when my husband is not home, I take the chance to spend more time with my kids. They get to sleep in our room with me Other than that, I don't think there are any more changes from my normal routine.
Other than that, I don't think there are any more changes from my normal routine.
@Sreekala (34312)
• India
3 Dec 10
Hi eshaan,
Since both of us are working I am not getting much time at home without him. He doesn’t want to go for long trips from office. But if he comes late from the office than usual time, I felt that I can finish my works quickly. If he is there then I may spend time with him by talking etc. Usually I am not sitting with computer at home. In case I sit with it, he won’t mind for few minutes but long time, he may ask about the other works.
1 person likes this
@ersmommy1 (12588)
• United States
2 Dec 10
This is a difference in culture. If my hubby made rules for me such as these, they'd promptly be BROKEN. And I wouldn't wait for him to be gone. This is why I know I am lucky to be treated as an equal by my hubby. Any spare time I have goes to my kids or an occasional nap.
1 person likes this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
2 Dec 10
My husband may not like the time I spend on the computer but he wouldn’t dare tell me I am not allowed to do it! My hubby goes away for work sometimes and although I don’t do too much that is different I enjoy not having to cook or do his washing. My daughter and I have what we call ‘girlie nights’ when we will go to bed early, watch T.V, read magazines and have a laugh. We love our man but we do enjoy ourselves when he’s not here; I love not having someone drink all my Coke!
1 person likes this
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
2 Dec 10
there so many things i want to do when he is not at home hahaha like
sleep! - he gets mad when i always sleep or take a nap
read and read and read- he gets irritated when i am just lounging and reading, he says i get tooo lazy hahaha but i love it
eat- he also do not want me eating too much choco since i am getting heavy hahha
and sleep again. lol
1 person likes this
@lumenmom (1986)
• United States
2 Dec 10
Well since we don't like the same TV programs, the one thing I do is sit and watch some of the programs that I never get to see. I also clean up areas of the house that he messes up but won't let me clean while he's around. I listen to audio tapes or read and just lounge around and relax.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
3 Dec 10
To be completely honest, there is nothing that I do that my husband gives me a hard time about. That said, there really is nothing that I am not ordinarily able to do that I do when Tom is away from home. I know that I have a friend whose husband is very controlling over her. In fact, she wasn't able to have Thanksgiving dinner with some friends of ours because her husband said that she wasn't allowed.
1 person likes this
@kizao2009 (67)
• India
1 Dec 10
i never knew about the protocol of a married family,but according to me it is important to have a right of freedom of rights to every personality. playing or chatting with friends doesn't meant that he or she is unfaithful nor undutiful. there are times when people doesn't want to look into what they are ...... but it is important to know what will be best to satisfy them in their life... therefore phenomenal understanding between family or folks is necessary to form a civilized society or uniform one with the respect to one's heart.
1 person likes this
@eshaan (6188)
• India
2 Dec 10
this is not about freedom or faithfulness...its just the matter of likes and dislikes...in married life you have to adjust to many such small things to keep each other happy....we do it happily...but yes it may be the reality that we like the life the other way too...so when he is not present...i took the liberty
@Hatley (163773)
• Garden Grove, California
1 Dec 10
eshaan if my husband dictated like that to me he would have got an'
earful as I feel even in marriage a person has some rights to do things'they like to do without being told what they can or cannot do.
grrrr.I would tell Mr. Husband that you are an adult and do not need to e allowed or not allowed to do something or not. Why do you let him do
that to you? I often listened to programs he did not like and ate things I liked but he did not, but my husband treated me as an adu lt and did not tell mewhat I cou ld or could not do. this I do not unserstand. He was my mate not my jailer. I was never told I cou ld not do anything and I sure would have rebelled as I did not need a keepr or a mom from my mate but just a good m ate.
1 person likes this
@eshaan (6188)
• India
1 Dec 10
ah ah ah hatley....you are sounding too angry...actually its my mistake that i didn't used proper word...i said i am not 'allowed'...this is actually not a very strict rule made by him for me...but he doesn't like that i be busy in computers from the very morning and i too respect his feelings...don't you feel that there are some adjustments needed in married life too...to keep each other happy...
this is very small thing i do for him..there are many many other adjustments which i found difficult to do..but i did...and India is like that...
it was his absence that made me a little relaxed and i did what i felt...
this is very small thing i do for him..there are many many other adjustments which i found difficult to do..but i did...and India is like that...
it was his absence that made me a little relaxed and i did what i felt...
@clouds0327 (1389)
• Philippines
1 Dec 10
When my husband is not at home I watch Korean movies streaming on his computer. Mine is a laptop and easily heats up plus I want it to take a rest since I've used it for more than 8 hours for work. I work graveyard. So when he is gone, I use his computer to watch streaming movies, he has better and faster internet connection and a faster computer.. I don't get to have a chance to do so when he is at home so...
@toniganzon (72551)
• Philippines
1 Dec 10
My husband don't mind me spending time in the computer because he knows I'm earning money. But he also knows that I don't spend the whole day in front of the computer and I also do the gardening and still study with our son!
I'm just glad that he understands and respects what I do and is very supportive of me!
I love my husband. 
But he also knows that I don't spend the whole day in front of the computer and I also do the gardening and still study with our son!
I'm just glad that he understands and respects what I do and is very supportive of me!
I love my husband. @eshaan (6188)
• India
1 Dec 10
nice to know that ...my hubby is only at the start and at the end of days with me..and those times i am at computer..so he has my image fed in his brain as 'a wife sitting in front of computers'
though he knows that i have lot of work to do in between...the image is not fade
i love my hubby too
though he knows that i have lot of work to do in between...the image is not fade
i love my hubby too 
@kaye114 (28)
•
1 Dec 10
I am a usual home buddy when he's not around. I'm always in a hurry to finish my house chores before he came. I find hard to move around when he's in front of his computer doing his stuff! During my free time after i finished my routine, when I'm not sitting reading my mails, I'm playing games with my itouch, relaxing!
1 person likes this
@monty21 (119)
• India
1 Dec 10
But in case of my partner, he is very supportive and he does not mind my working in the early morning or the late night. Whenever i have something in mind to discuss, i start writing here. He has not a problem with me although sometimes he helps me in writing things as he is very creative and gives me ideas on which i can write. Indeed, he is a best partner for me.
1 person likes this
