Have you ever turned down a job offer?
By firecracker
@sacmom (14192)
United States
December 16, 2010 4:22am CST
As some of you may recall, I've been looking for a job for a while. Okay, so I wound up taking a few months off from that LOL, but now I'm back at it again.
Anyway, after sending in some applications, I got called in for an interview! My first one in 14 years! (Has it really been that long? 
) I think it went pretty well too, even though I was a nervous wreck! LOL By the impression I got from the girl that interviewed me the job is mine if I want it.
And I would of been more than happy to have accepted it right then and there, had it not been for one thing. Apparently part of the requirement for this job is to take a month long training course to advance in my "career". Which isn't so much the problem. The problem is it isn't always held nearby. Sometimes it is held in Nevada, which for me is the next state over. So there'd be a 50% chance that I'd be going there to train if I were to take the job. This presents a big problem for me as I refuse to chance such a thing and possibly leave my family for that long, especially with my oldest being autistic. It wouldn't be fair to do that to him, his brother, or their daddy/my husband. Now if it was guaranteed to be nearby or if the training camp wasn't a requirement for this position things would be different.
I guess the only thing left for me to do is call the girl later on today and tell her I can't take it. That and to continue sending in applications.
So, what about you? Have you ever turned down a job offer? Why?
) I think it went pretty well too, even though I was a nervous wreck! LOL By the impression I got from the girl that interviewed me the job is mine if I want it.
And I would of been more than happy to have accepted it right then and there, had it not been for one thing. Apparently part of the requirement for this job is to take a month long training course to advance in my "career". Which isn't so much the problem. The problem is it isn't always held nearby. Sometimes it is held in Nevada, which for me is the next state over. So there'd be a 50% chance that I'd be going there to train if I were to take the job. This presents a big problem for me as I refuse to chance such a thing and possibly leave my family for that long, especially with my oldest being autistic. It wouldn't be fair to do that to him, his brother, or their daddy/my husband. Now if it was guaranteed to be nearby or if the training camp wasn't a requirement for this position things would be different.
I guess the only thing left for me to do is call the girl later on today and tell her I can't take it. That and to continue sending in applications.
So, what about you? Have you ever turned down a job offer? Why?11 people like this
26 responses
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
16 Dec 10
I would certainly turn down a job offer like that. If you did not have the family to worry about it would be fine.. but when you have small kids at home going away for training is not an option unless the job is that spectacular.
My husband has had a couple jobs where he's had to go out of town for training. The first time was like 8 years ago, he had to go about an hour away to get training to be promoted. But it was only for a weekend.
The second time was just a few years back, he had to go to Conneticut (we live in NY) and had to stay for a week.
Considering my husband is the sole provider for our family, and these training sessions were going to lead to a higher paycheck.. we went ahead with them.. but I think if the training sessions had been for a whole month we may have thought differently (unless he were getting paid well for the training session) but then again it was him, not me.. I am the caregiver so I doubt I could leave my children for longer than a couple of days.
I haven't turned down a job offer in forever. The last time I did it was over 10 years ago. I'd put in a bunch of applications one day.. and when I dropped off one application I got an interview on the spot and was hired on the spot. When I got home from that there was a call for me from another place I'd left an application asking me to come in.. but I'd already gotten a job so I turned it down.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
20 Dec 10
LMAO! The training wasn't for that. It was to become a groomer. 
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
20 Dec 10
That's pretty cool that you not only got an interview on the spot, but were hired on the spot as well. 
As for the job I mentioned above, I wouldn't say it's spectacular...unless you consider bathing dogs a spectacular job! LOL
Happy holidays!
As for the job I mentioned above, I wouldn't say it's spectacular...unless you consider bathing dogs a spectacular job! LOL
Happy holidays!@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
20 Dec 10
Doesn't sound spectacular.. and why would you need a month of training for that? Sheesh!
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
16 Dec 10
No, because no one even calls me for an interview and now that I am taking college classes, I am not pushing for a job either. I am with you though, having to be away that far away and for that long, I wouldn't take it.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
19 Dec 10
Happy Holidays to you too sacmom, I hope another job opens up for you..:)
1 person likes this
@ram_cv (16513)
• India
17 Dec 10
Hmm... that is kind of sad. Just check with them whether they would allow you take you kids with you for the period, maybe that could work out.
Anyhow, coming to your query, yes I have turned down job offers before. Actually twice before and both times because I had multiple offers in my hand and I picked the one that was best suited for my career growth.
Cheers!
Ram
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
22 Dec 10
I'm afraid that isn't possible. Part of the training is to be around animals (dogs mostly). I doubt the company would want anyone there who isn't supposed to be there as they wouldn't want to be held accountable for any accidents that might occur. Not to mention my autistic son is terrified of dogs (other than our own), so that wouldn't work anyway. But thanks for trying to help!
Happy holidays!
1 person likes this
@kun2349 (23381)
• Singapore
24 Dec 10
haha =D Well, it's good that u are placing your family interest above your own. BUt isnt there any way the company can make some forms of arrangement for u and your family? MAybe they allow u to bring your son over, due to his condition?
I've turned down several job offers in the past as well, due to location and attitude of certain people during my interviews. When i know i'm not happy with things, i wont be able to work well with them, and so instead of suffering, i might as well turn it down.. hehe 
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
24 Dec 10
What can I say? I've always been that way. 
No, I don't think so. For one thing it's hands-on and if I had my oldest son with me I wouldn't be able to focus on my training. For another I'd be working with dogs. This same son does not like dogs (well, other than our own), so it just wouldn't be possible to bring him.
No, I don't think so. For one thing it's hands-on and if I had my oldest son with me I wouldn't be able to focus on my training. For another I'd be working with dogs. This same son does not like dogs (well, other than our own), so it just wouldn't be possible to bring him.1 person likes this
@cmang83 (285)
• Malaysia
16 Dec 10
I have the experience before, i had rejected an offer from HSBC before. The reason i rejected the offer is because my first boss told me that i have a chance to promoted. I decided to stay with my first company because of that but after 1 month, the boss resign from the company and i just stay at the same position until i jumped to other company.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
16 Dec 10
How strange. Your boss talked to you about possibly getting promoted and then he quits himself? Why would he go and do that?
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
16 Dec 10
Oops! I didn't realize your boss was a woman. 
LOL
That's all anyone of us can really do. Move forward.
Happy mylotting!
LOL
That's all anyone of us can really do. Move forward.
Happy mylotting! @durgabala (1360)
• India
16 Dec 10
I have declined many, due to long hours or long distance travel or just mundane no creativity jobs.
I have not changed many also. I feel staying in a company for 2 yrs is better than just hop skip and jump companies for salary and other aspects. i have declined so many good offers just because i can't stay away from kids for a long time . i wanted one which would utilize my skills and also pay fairly with fair enough timings. but no u don't get what u desire, so i changed my profession to freelance writing, became a full time working from home mom.
. i wanted one which would utilize my skills and also pay fairly with fair enough timings. but no u don't get what u desire, so i changed my profession to freelance writing, became a full time working from home mom. 1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18151)
• United States
19 Dec 10
Maybe they could work out a deal for you to take that training closer especially with a special needs child to take care of. Some bosses will work with a employee..won't know till you ask though. I guess I am too late being as it is 3 days later...I have turned down jobs before..but mostly cleaning house or babysitting...If you knew my brothers kids..you'd know why..lol
.If you knew my brothers kids..you'd know why..lol1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
24 Dec 10
I didn't ask, but I did tell the girl straight up that I have an autistic child. That, and I wasn't willing to leave my kids if the training happened to be in Nevada. The thing is the training course is always held two months after employment. So if I had taken the job I'd of had to go wherever it was held, whether it was nearby or not.
Happy holidays!
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
20 Dec 10
In your case, I think I would just tell them up front that you would like the job, but that you cannot go to Nevada to train. You would not mind doing it nearby, though. This would be telling the company upfront that family is going to nave to be important to you. If they like you well enough, they may hire you and let you wait for a local training, or accommodate you in some way. When I gave notice at my last job, they offered me alternative work, trying to keep me. I turned them down because I knew I would be doing the same stuff, just for less pay. A lot less pay. Same stress.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
24 Dec 10
I was completely up front during the interview. I even told the girl that I wasn't willing to leave my kids for that long. All she could offer me was that it might be held nearby. But she couldn't guarantee it. As for waiting for local training, it's not possible as the training course is always held 2 months after employment...
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
16 Dec 10
I can see that as a mother of an autistic child it would be difficult for you to take a training course for one month in Nevada. It is a shame that you will be likely to turn down that job offer.
I was offered two jobs at the same time. I could have taught either a Reception class or a Year 3 class at a school in Sittingbourne. I decided to teach the Year 1 class in Folkestone. In those days I hadn't yet learn how to drive and I relied on public transport.
To get from Bridge to Folkestone the bus arrived too late in the morning. So I cycled to Bekesbourne train station and then took a train to Dover Priory. Then I changed to a train to Folkestone West and then I cycled on to the school.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
19 Dec 10
Yes, it is a shame. Though at the same time maybe it's all for the best. And who knows, maybe something better will come along. Until then I'll just continue being a stay at home mom.
Happy holidays!
Happy holidays!
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
16 Dec 10
Yes...I applied for a job a few years back and they also gave me the job if I wanted it....the problem was that though there were benefits....I would have been starting and just a little above half of the salary I was making at the time...and it would have been really skimmpy around here....I just couldn't live off the salary...they advance people quickly if you stick around...but I just couldn't live off that kind of money.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
20 Dec 10
I couldn't have lived off the money from this job either, but it definitely could have come in handy, that's for sure!
Happy holidays!
@whiteheron (4222)
• United States
18 Dec 10
Your situation sounds very frustrating... as you would have liked the job if it were not for that training program. I would go ahead and lay your cards on the table, say that your oldest son is autistic, and that you believe it would be a hardship to do the trainings do to the inability to find child care that knows and would be able to take care of your child. That otherwise you would love to take the job. Then ask if they could make any exceptions or provisions for you... perhaps skype the trainings so you could do it from home or teleconference.
This should not be a barrier to your employment. I would be straight with the employer.
I have turned down job offers before when I knew that the job was something that I could not do and when I had found another job that was better. It sometimes has been rather empowering to be able to say "no".
I am amoung the ranks of the unemployed but am a part-time contract worker. I am looking for employment as well and am wishing you the best in your quest for the right position.
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
22 Dec 10
I did explain it to the girl during the interview that I have an autistic child. I also let it be known that I wasn't willing to travel out of state. That's basically when she said it'd be a 50/50 chance I'd be going to Nevada adding it might be held nearby when it is time for me to train.
As for the teleconference, the training as well as the job itself is hands on. So I wouldn't be able to do it from the comfort of my own home.
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
16 Dec 10
Yes I have turned down many job offer as I cannot fulfill their requirements when I went back home and thought about it. Mostly most employers requires me to work over time which I cannot do so due to my depression. Plus I have to look after my parents especially my mom who is always restless due to her age. I feel sad anyway because of this and I blame myself for my health condition reason that I cannot be strong as anybody else. Lately my depression hits me again as it always on off and I slept almost 2 times daily for 2 hours to recharge my energy. I guess the time is right but my health can't take it.
Anyway, this job requires training from time to time is it? So if you are confident...
I hope you are making the right decision and be proud of it that your son is your top priority!
HAVE A NICE DAY
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
19 Dec 10
Actually both of my kids are my top priority.
And no, it's just the one time. But by what I understand it's for the whole duration of the trip, and I'm just not willing to leave my kids for that long.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
17 Dec 10
I have at one time had a few job offers at once and had to choose. I can see why you would be second guessing this but maybe if you explained to her the situation, she might make special arrangements. Of course that is a shot in the dark during these times but you never know unless you try. Take care and good luck.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
21 Dec 10
I did explain the situation the day I was interviewed. That was when the girl said that it was a 50% chance it'd be held nearby. That was the best she could do.
@Lance26 (956)
• Philippines
17 Dec 10
Nice Timing! I actually received an offer letter via email for overseas employment 3 days ago and up to till date never gave my reply yet. I was referred by my former senior Project Manager to this newly established business but it's more likely turning down this job as I think the offer isn't good enough for me in comparison to my previous work. I might not accept it because my salary expectation didn't meet considering my years of experience.
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
21 Dec 10
Thanks!
So, did you give an answer? Did you turn it down? Or did you accept it after all?
@wolfie34 (26771)
• United Kingdom
16 Dec 10
Hey my friend, that sounds like a great shame, surely there must be a compromise? I wonder if they would be more understanding if you explained the situation? You said it was a requirement, is that a rigid uncompromising requirement? I am sure you wouldn't be the first person who had difficulty in getting to the course? Not everyone has transport either! Jobs are so hard to come by in this difficult climate. I understand where you are coming from, I just hope there is a simpler solution than turning it down. I wish you the best of luck. I turned down a job offer because it meant staying with my ex and the job offer came at the wrong time, I didn't want to settle down in the area when I was trying to escape it. Of course my ex wanted me to get it and I had to come up with a feasible if not cunning plan to turn the job down and to tell my ex that I hadn't got it. Lots of skulduggery involved. The job sadly would have been great just what I wanted, isn't that always the way! Take care and good luck with it!
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
17 Dec 10
Thanks wolfie. I already did during the interview...twice. The girl did understand about me wanting to stay nearby, but unfortunately it's part of the deal for this position. No compromising allowed.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
16 Dec 10
Since quitting from my last employment I have not taken the efforts to apply for new job. My sister has just got a job but the very next day she called the manager that she won't be able to accept the job. The job is in a neighbouring country and she has her family concern at heart. For women, it is difficult to detach from the family especially if they are under age children. You have made the right choice to reject the offer as it will mean a long separation from your family which is impractical.
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
16 Dec 10
Thanks Zandi. It sure is hard to detach from them, even if they do drive me crazy at times. LOL
Happy holidays!
@mentalward (14690)
• United States
16 Dec 10
If I were you, I'd first explain my situation and let them know why being out of state for that long is not possible. You did say that the training is not ALWAYS held nearby; there could be a chance that it would be held nearby for you. I'd just lay my cards out on the table instead of turning down the job right away because there's a chance you might have to leave the state. Who knows? They could be planning on having the training nearby this time.
1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
19 Dec 10
I did. And that's true. However, the company is looking for someone to grow with them. I don't think it'd be fair to them (or me) to take the job only for me to have to quit (and I would quit) in a couple of months time if the training camp happened to be in Reno. I'm looking for something more permanent than that.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
16 Dec 10
I have turned down a job offer before. If i felt the job was just not for me, i would not see the sense in taking it. i would just be unhappy for it later.1 person likes this
@sacmom (14192)
• United States
16 Dec 10
That sounds like a wise thing to do, although at the same time it isn't always the most practical. Sometimes people have to take what job they can get, even if they don't like it. It sucks, but that's just a part of life. Gotta be able to eat and pay the bills, after all!
Happy holidays!
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
22 Dec 10
Yes, i have. I have started a discussion about being nervous to have a job interview for the first time in 2 years, i got the job and actually did signed the job offer. But i didn't passed the requirements because i don't like the job but signed the contract because i needed a job. It i were to take the job it should not only be because i needed it but i have to love the job so that i will be able to stay there for long. I want a long term job and i don't want to go on AWOL (absence without leave) in a matter of weeks time because the job wasn't good at all.
1 person likes this
@clouds0327 (1389)
• Philippines
22 Dec 10
I did. I got a call and it was a job offer. It was from a company I applied to a long time ago. Back when I have no job and looking. But when the HR person called me I already got a job. The job he is offering offers almost the same salary as what I am getting now, a little lower than my present job. But I have to say no cause of course I already have a job, it pays me more than they are offering and one big difference is that mine is a work at home job and what they're offering is not... so I have to turn it down.
1 person likes this
