having a textmate is kind of cheating?

no it depends, textmates can be for friendship.. even saying i love you unless he mean it... trust him.. or why dont you ask him.

In the first place we as a wife can feel jealous if we know that our husband has textmate and we feel cheated especially if she is his ex-gf. But we don't know the main reason why they need to communicate again for what purpose? Anyway if we have trust to our partner we never feel jealous because we trust him that I know we are the true and only love by our husband. For me my husband has his textmate and we are the one who chat with her. How nice to have a friend on chat and the purpose is to be friends inline or thru text. It is not directly cheating but if they make it as a chat of something else well that is unusual maybe the wife or husband may get jealous. And as we are the partner on life by them we really feel them. It make us hurt. But do trust the partner first and believe them then if there are things that you think not good them this is the time to do action. In good.

i would think this is a form of cheating especially that it is done in secret... if there is no malice why does he have to keep it?

any act that can hurt one's spouse is cheating. so much so if the act is done in secret.

Its really hard to judge the man, but yes, keeping a secret from your spouse is indeed cheating. The ongoing communication with his ex could be very innocent, but a jealous and insecure wife would never see it that way, even if the husband didn't keep it a secret. I've been living with my girlfriend for 13 years and I have no problem with her having male friends and I'm flattered when they "hit" on her. I'm very proud to be with my GF and I want all the guys to know how wonderful she is. "A suspicious mind is the bi-product of a guilty conscience". Is the wife saying she can't text someone without having "other" intentions besides being a friend and just being nice?

definitely he is a cheater. After marriage we should be faithful to our partners. Otherwise this will be a great problem in future.

I would think he was also seeing her secrety.

I think it is a kind of cheating if there is shown elicit message from the both parties involved. But if all the message is about business or work it's not.

To have a girl textmate is not that bad. However, if your textmate is your ex, I think their is a reason to suspect and the fact that he does it secretly. It is a form of cheating somehow because he does it without the knowledge of his wife. I hope my husband will not do this to me. Hehehe

No, i think it would depend on what they are talking about. I hate guys doing this to their gfs or wives, but i won't judge them right away if i didn't know what they talked about.

Its cheating! He is obviously doing this with his ex-GF behind HIS WIFE'S BACK b/c he STILL has deep feelings for her. Tell your sister to make him choose HER or the EX.

Hi dear, It depend on mostly with the content of the text. If it is like jokes and general matters, there is no point of cheat. All are doing it and which is common too. But the case is different and cheat the subject changes to personal and sx and all. Thank-s

if he actually talks about things he shouldn't if she is just a friend i would say yes its cheating but if it just a friend thing that its okay. he can have his own friends as long as they stay only friends.

May be your wife will mind that, just because she love you so much ,

Well the first issue is 'secrets'. There should be no secrets between a husband and wife. None. The whole point of marriages is two become one. Having secrets makes it not becoming one. So in that sense alone, this is a form of cheating. Second, issue is ex-girlfriend. I am personally of the opinion that ex-()Friends, should be completely cut out of your life. This is part of breaking off with the past, and becoming one with the woman, or man, that is your spouse. Third, is how would the other person feels about it. How your spouse feels about another relationship, whether you like it or not, or even if it's an old girlfriend or boyfriend or not, matters. If they don't want you to have that relationship, you should end it. Now, I should say that sometimes the spouse is simply insecure, and needs some help. But within reason, if your spouse in uncomfortable with you having XX friend, then you need to put your spouse above yourself, and cut that off. Finally, for your own sake, one should have good boundaries. Your best and closest friend in the world, should be your spouse. If it's not, then there is a marriage problem, and that should concern you. You need to fix your marriage, and then have other friends. Not have other friends, and hope your marriage works. No one wakes up one morning and says "I'm going to ruin my marriage and get with someone else, wrecking my life". No one does that. Instead is a very slow decay of the marriage love and friendship. Avoid that by making your spouse first in your life. So the bottom line is, I would say this man is cheating on his wife to some degree.

Obviously yes this man is cheating his wife.

Hi! It does not look good especially since he is keeping it a secret from his wife. Maybe there is nothing to it. It could be that he does not want to hurt his wife's feelings over something that is innocent. Personally, if I am his wife, I'd be pretty angry and yeah, I would actually call it cheating.

its okay if the texting is reasonable. if its related to work, business or just some friends but if the intention is cheating, then its another story. it really depends on the intention of texting someone.

In a way it is as though he is cheating, even if he isn't. There can be many reasons for what he is doing. Maybe he wants to stay friends but his wife won't like it, maybe he is just flirting through text, maybe he is having an affairwith her. At the end of the day the man is married, whilst we do have our own lives to live if his ex is just a friend and there is nothing to say that something is going on in the texts they send eachother then i don't know why he has to keep this from his wife. He should not keep this from his wife, if it is a case of his wife won't accept the fact they are still friends then this is his wifes problem, she can't dictate who he can and cannot be friends with. When people do things without others knowing then it can create problems, best to be open and honest.

Having a textmate even if it is your ex doesn't mean that you are cheating. But keeping it a secret definitely is! It means there is something going on between them. Some relationships do not last but they still remain friends even after so there is nothing wrong about that. But why keep it a secret to your current partner?