Understanding people, doesn't mean you agree with them. Right? Or wrong?

you are right.. understanding is different from agreeing. take this discussion as an example. you have started this discussion and i agree with your opinion and it doesnt mean i understand or misunderstand you. understanding comes only when there is some sort of relationship between each other.

We are on the same page here damned_dle. I agree with you. I can understand somebody their situation or whatever it is, But it doesn't mean I have to agree with them! I mean its my opinion. And NO just because you understand someone you need to support that?!

Well, I guess the saying "Agree to disagree" is the ideal quote here. People who try to impose their opinion and guilt you at the same time by saying "if you understand me then you must agree" are really lacking in boundaries. I'm in complete agreement with you :)

Hello Damned_idle, that is very true, i believe those people don't understand and don't agree at the same time, but that's normal too, they just don't get it. I have understood a lot of mylotters and so are they even though we had different opinions, failure of understanding really leads to huge comfrontations of debates

To understand does not necessarily mean to agree. Sometimes I understand what motivated a person to say a hateful thing to other. Sometimes I understand what motivated a woman to keep silent being abused by her husband. Sometimes I understand why a person lives frugally even though she has so much money in the bank. Does not mean I agree with them and will follow their steps.

you have a point damned_dle..and I agree with you, somehow, other people just try to understand other people because they don't want to argue with them, especially those in a relationship..but it doesn't mean that you agree with them..

Yes I think if we understand someone's reasoning, it is left to a person to support him or not. May be the persons understanding for the reasoning would be fair enough, but saying right or wrong and supporting them will be individual feeling or responsibility.

I agree with you full-heartedly damned_dle. I have come across this type of thinking many times in the past, and still do. I have told people that I understand them, and they automatically assume that I agree with everything they have done and will do, which is incorrect. I am a rational and empathetic person, and I am able to understand the reasoning and motivations behind someone's thoughts and actions. However, I also realize that we are responsible for our actions (and reactions) and the consequences for them. So, for instance, if an adult is arguing with their adult sibling about the care of their ill parent, but is cursing and threatening violence, I can say that I understand the frustration and also not agree with the behavior. More to your question, I don't think that you should support someone's reasoning just because you understand it. That is like saying: I support eating deep-fried twinkies (trust me, they do exist) just because I could understand why some people may like it. Differing opinions are not fact, therefore, they cannot be proven wrong or right. Some people may not understand that distinction, and come to believe that if you don't agree, then there is something wrong with you, which is unfortunate. The best thing that people like us can do is understand that some will not understand us, and move on.

I both agree and understand you! This is something that I used to find a lot when I worked for customer services, if someone had a problem or they felt that they were hard done by then I could understand how they would feel that way, but I wouldnt always agree with them. I think you can put yourself in that persons shoe's so could understand how they would feel or act but you dont have to agree with that person as you may have dealt with it another way. Does that make sense? You sound like you would be good working in a customer service role!

I guess we have the same though. People nowadays lie too much. Sometimes we have to pretend that we agree with them to avoid arguments. We may stand out too on our belief somehow but, what is enough said is enough.

I agree with you. It is very annoying when someone expect you to support them just because you told them you understood their reason but they straight away assumed you to agree with them too. I have faced the same problem over and over again and it is really tiring to keep talking to those people. Thanks for sharing and have a nice day

We don't need to support when we understand something. We need to support something when it give us benefit, in short or long term. Understand means we allow them to go forward with their action. We understand because their actions are reasonable :-)