Here comes the bride, the groom.........and his mom?
By sachii315
@sachii315 (488)
Japan
December 26, 2010 7:15am CST
Hello my fellow Mylotters, I would just like to share a glimpse of my married life. I got married 3 months ago to a good and loving Korean man. I was always preparing myself for the possible challenges I may encounter. I moved out from Japan to Korea where I had to adjust to cultural differences but I am slowly getting used to it since we've been dating for about 2 years. The language too was hard and it was a barrier between me and his relatives. Few weeks from the wedding was absolutely great, everything was going smoothly according to my expectations. Now, here comes his mom. She decided to stay with us until she's sure that I'm doing well at my duties to his son. I was really not a big deal since she teaches me how to prepare their food and about their culture, manners and everything a Korean wife does. But she's getting stricter everyday. She's making thing difficult for me. I think she had forgotten that I was an Alien.. hahaha I don't open up this topic to my husband since I also saw how my dad treated him before regarding my culture. hahaha.. And now we're even. I love her as my mother-in-law and it makes me miss my own mother that much.
Does anyone here in mylot had difficulties in dealing with in-laws? How did you manage it? Does anyone here experienced the same as mine? 
1 person likes this
8 responses
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
12 Feb 12
I think your mother in law really want to teach you so many things about Korean so it is good for you because you can easily adjust about their culture. And i think it is good that you mother in law is teaching you because teaching you is better than unobserved you. You also have good character because you like her even she is strict to you..
@lingli_78 (12822)
• Australia
27 Dec 10
first of all, i would like to congratulate you for your marriage... i'm happy to hear that you are married to a good and loving man... culture barriers are always the problem in every marriage life even between people from the same nationalities... it is because we had been raised differently and we come from different family backgrounds... as for my in-laws, i am fortunate that i don't have to stay under the same roof with them... so i don't have any problem at all... take care and have a nice day...
@GloomCookieLex (6073)
• United States
26 Dec 10
To be honest, I absolutely despise my in-laws and I refuse to have anything to do with any of them. I haven't seen or spoken to any one of them for over 4 years.
Although I don't know anything about Korean culture so I don't know exactly how it differs from American or even Japanese, but I definitely think you should confide in your husband about his mother's nit-picking at you. Your husband married YOU for a reason. Don't think just because his mother is trying to tell you what "a proper Korean wife" should do doesn't necessarily mean that's what he wants. I'm sure if he wanted a Korean housewife he could have married one, but he didn't. I think it's great that you're learning to adapt into his culture, but there's nothing wrong with maintaining a good portion of your own. It's what makes you who are and I'm sure that's why he married you in the first place.
@zandi458 (28102)
• Malaysia
26 Dec 10
Congratulations! I hope you're happy as a married woman in your adopted country. I can well understand your early adjustment to married life especially being married to a foreigner. You're lucky to have your MIL helping you to familiarize with their culture and teaching you to cook their food. I have never lived with my MIL before and they came over to our house occasionally only. So I was never close with my in laws. I know some MILs are liken to step-mothers as they still have the rule of thumbs on their sons everyday life even though they should no longer interfere in their married life. 
Just be patient and try to gain your MIL trust and love.
Just be patient and try to gain your MIL trust and love. 
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
26 Dec 10
Oh, hello, Sachii.
I got same experience with the mother of my boyfriend, this is why right now i like to stay away of their family business, this is how i keep myself more calm and in good mood. I don't like his mom so much, she is much different person than my caring and loving mom who is ready to do everything for me.
I'm not married, so i feel happy that our families are not one, because if i had to spend more and more time with the mother of my boyfriend, i would get crazy for sure. She is a strange person with strange habits and i don't like that. Me and my boyfriend live together from one year now. Half of the year we lived with his parents and now i'm happy that they live in their apartment, and we in our rented apartment. Even if we pay rent, it's more calm and we can do what we want to.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
26 Dec 10
hello sachii,
First i would like to Congratulate you for getting married :) though i am not married yet maybe i can say my opinion. :)
Well if you rumble the word mother in law it will become woman hitler hhehehe!Maybe your mother in law just want you to be a perfect korean wife to her son just take it slowly prove your mother in law that different culture is not a barrier to be a good wife. :)
happy mylotting :)
@strawberrychocodahi (4818)
• Philippines
26 Dec 10
Actually I am also a foreigner but I never got restricted by my own MIL. The good thing about living so far from my in-laws gave me the freedom to do my thing. Besides, I am not going to be a shadow and mimic what they just wanted. My husband lived a life without his parents dictating him what to do and what to have, so I never had an experience like that.
Good for you at least you are open to such culture and adopted the same thing and never made it a big deal. But if someone will just manipulate me of what to do, well I can react to it because I can only take what is necessary and if its too much already, I will remind them that I am a unique individual and I will never do anything negative to their son. I am living to my own standards and not based on someone else's standard particularly like my in-laws. From cooking, to cleaning the house and maintaining my own family, I am hands-on and never will I ask them for trouble for handling my own domain. I am a responsible wife who is independent when it comes to taking care of my family.
@lelin1123 (15595)
• Puerto Rico
26 Dec 10
Well I moved to Puerto Rico where the language is spanish and I don't speak it. However, my in-laws and I can communicate to a degree and if I don't understand then my significant other will explain. Otherwise my in-laws are the best they don't get involved in my day to day life at home with their son. They mind their own business and let me take care of him. Before moving to PR he and I lived in New York for about twenty years so there is no problems with the parents due to this fact. I surely hope that your mother-in-law doesn't plan to spend to much more time there with you and her son. I would find that quite awkward in my opinion. Good luck to you and your marriage.
