What is the biggest sin your spouse could committ in your relationship?
By deedee328
@deedee328 (1122)
United States
December 29, 2010 2:18am CST
For many people, the obvious answer to my question would be cheating or infedelity. For others, it would be making you feel inferior.
As for me, with God's help, I can forgive almost anything. I have a very difficult time fogiving being lied to. I detest liars. There is no reason to lie to me about anything. My husband does things that he knows irritate me. Those things hurt me and make me feel like I am less important to him. I don't understand how he could continue to do things that he knows makes me feel like I am second class, but that is beside the point of this discussion.
Today, I found out that he has lied to me. It really doesn't matter what he lied about. He knew that I would fuss about what he was doing if he had been honest about where he was and what he was doing. (It is not what you think). He also knows that lying to me would make it worse once I learned the truth.
We have been married now for 9 years. He knows how I am going to react to things, so it just makes no sense to me that he would continue to do things that he knows is going to cause a problem. I do not do things that I know irritate or hurt him.
Am I wrong to think that he just doesn't care how I feel? He swears that he loves me, but that is sometimes hard to believe. I do know what the one thing that would hurt him for me to do is, but I will not do that. It goes against my religious beliefs and morals. He has not cheated on me, but to me, this thing he was doing and then lying about it is almost as bad.
So what do you people think? What would you do? What do you find most irritating and unpardonable sin in your spouse to be?
7 responses
@ankster (273)
• India
29 Dec 10
According to me the biggest sin will be cheating me and on the contrary losing faith in me.If my hubby will become less considerate and loving towards me as the years pass by then he will be the biggest sinner in my eyes.If my hubby will neglect my love and will get trapped into false accusations by anyone on me then also he will be committing a big sin.I guess any husband who lacks in providing support to his wife at any step of life is a big criminal.And wife like me cannot ever forgive such husbands
1 person likes this
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
30 Dec 10
Thank you for sharing your views with me. I don't worry about the loss of affection or his listening to other people make accusations because he knows me well enough to know that i value honesty and trust and would never do anything to violate those things.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
20 Jan 12
I know my husband. I know what he believes in. I think it must be a sad thing to believe that you can not trust anyone. Does that include yourself? I don't think I have blind faith in my husband.
@ankster (273)
• India
30 Dec 10
yiu have shared your views so I have written my view point.You never know when a person gets trapped into someone elses false blames on you.You cannot trust anyone.As of now I also say Iam very happy with my hubby but future is unpredictable so I have written that if my or any hubby will commit such silly things it will be sin in my eyes.Trust is good but blind faith is not good my dear friend..so be careful also along with being a loving wife.
@neelia_lyn (2003)
• Philippines
29 Dec 10
As long as you do your responsibility as his wife, and you are not doing something to damage your relationship, keep your chin up and enjoy life. Don't focus much on what your husband is doing to you because he might want more to hurt you by doing that thing you don't like him to do (since you have talked about it for a lot of times), and if you do focus on his faults, you are only hurting yourself more. Just pray for him, show him your love and do your duties. Maybe he will feel guilty of his "crimes" and he'll realize that he should be doing what is right - for his family's sake.
First thing I wouldn't want my spouse to do: commit adultery.
Second thing: Being dishonest, because it would destroy, if not totally, your trust in him.
Happy new year!
1 person likes this
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
30 Dec 10
Thank you for your response. In my defense, I do as I am suppose to as his wife. I do not lie to him about my activities or my whereabouts. He knows that. He doesn't do this thing to hurt me, he does it in spite of the fact that he knows it bothers me. I have not discussed it with him alot of times, just a few, but it was made very clear to him that I do not like it at all. I already pray for him.
your second thing above is dishonesty.....that is my problem. He lies to me about what he is doing and where he is at. It insults my intelligence and breaks my trust in him.
@wdiong (1815)
• Singapore
31 Dec 10
Well, as for me, infidelity would be the most unpardonable sin. To me , it means that he has broken his marriage vows. It is difficult to trust and believe whatever he says and do again. This type of hurt is difficult to forgive and would take a long time to heal.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
31 Dec 10
Infedility would be the most difficult for me to forgive, if ever I could, but lying sure runs a close second to me. It too breaks the trust and makes it hard to believe him.
@urbandekay (18278)
•
12 Feb 12
21Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?
22Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
all the best urban
@urbandekay (18278)
•
13 Feb 12
Why, the injunction from Jesus seems clear, forgive and forgive, without resevation.
And some authorities say the caveat in Matthew to which you refer, was added later
all the best urban
@lindaharding627 (1442)
• United States
30 Dec 10
I think what would be the most hurtful would be is if my husband ever cheated on me. We took our vows between God and ourselves. Ours was a private ceremony. We eloped because we loved each other so much and our families were not supportive of our relationship. Before we married we talked about our beliefs and we both believe that when you marry it is meant to be for life. Both of our families thought we got married due to my pregnancy but that is not it at all. We felt something special for each other and knew that my mom's words were true "If it is meant to be, it will happen."
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
30 Dec 10
People say that it is naive to think so, because he is just a man, but there is no doubt he would never cheat on me. His exwife did that to him, so he knows how it feels. He is very "old school" when it comes to loyalty in a marriag
@pit33pit (534)
• Indonesia
30 Dec 10
You have an open heart and forgiving attitude salute to you. is considered unimportant by other people not many people can accept. you just need to take a clear stance, but previously had to be considering the many things before making big decisions.
@deedee328 (1122)
• United States
31 Dec 10
Your opinion did help. It fed my ego, and that is always good for people. Opinions are not suppose to be "good" or "bad", friend, just honest. I thank you for your opinion.
@wdiong (1815)
• Singapore
31 Dec 10
Well, as for me, infidelity would be the most unpardonable sin. To me , it means that he has broken his marriage vows. It is difficult to trust and believe whatever he says and do again. This type of hurt is difficult to forgive and would take a long time to heal.
