Is it all worth it, do you think?
@Sandra1952 (6047)
Spain
January 5, 2011 2:39pm CST
I've had a really traumatic day today. My best friend has been in surgery for 10 hours - yes, 10 hours. She had breast cancer 8 years ago and had to have a mastectomy. It was an aggressive type of cancer, and they've only recently given her the all clear.
She's had a prosthetic breast, but it was heavy and uncomfortable. Her surgeon offered her what she called the 'Gold Star' treatment. Basically, fat would be taken from her abdomen, to build up a natural-looking breast. It meant 10 hours under the knife, and my friend does not enjoy the best of health anyway. She's 58, with severe arthritis.
Okay, I'm not in her position, and I don't want to be, but I can't see that it's worth all the suffering, just to get a natural breast at almost 60. She's married, and her husband has never made her feel elss than a complete woman. She made it through the operation, but she's now in intensive care, and it will be at least 6 weeks before she's anywhere near normal fitness again.
I don;t think it's worth it, although I respect her right to make the choice for herself. What do you think?
3 people like this
8 responses
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
5 Jan 11
Gosh! That was my reaction.
She has been lucky once and she risked again, all those hours of surgery 
Me? NO way! I would be thankful to have got rid of the cancer and just got on with the rest of my life that I had been gifted with and would not have tempted fate. Is she even certain that after the six weeks there will be no complications?
Her husband sounds a great preson and she is lucky to have him to. I dread to think if this did not go ok how he would cope as I assume he did not obstruct her from doing it and might have wished that he should have done.
Sandra your friend was lucky once and if it was me, I would count my blessings and do nothing else except thank my guardian angel. I don't tempt fate 
Please let us know how she progress and a big hug to you for being such a good friend to her! 
Me? NO way! I would be thankful to have got rid of the cancer and just got on with the rest of my life that I had been gifted with and would not have tempted fate. Is she even certain that after the six weeks there will be no complications?
Her husband sounds a great preson and she is lucky to have him to. I dread to think if this did not go ok how he would cope as I assume he did not obstruct her from doing it and might have wished that he should have done.
Sandra your friend was lucky once and if it was me, I would count my blessings and do nothing else except thank my guardian angel. I don't tempt fate
Please let us know how she progress and a big hug to you for being such a good friend to her! 3 people like this
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
5 Jan 11
Hello, Diana. My thoughts exactly. Still, although we're good friends, I can't get inside her head and know exactly how it's affected her. Her husband didn't want her to have it done, but he left the decision to her. We can't be sure that things will go smoothly - we can only hope and pray for the best. I'm over there next week to look after her when she comes out.
2 people like this
@mysdianait (66009)
• Italy
5 Jan 11
She can be proud to have such a good friend in you Sandra and I really, really do hope, for all concerned, that everything will go well. Huge hugs to you!
2 people like this
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
5 Jan 11
I answered this discussion before I read any of the responses, and after going back and reading the responses I am really surprised that I am the only one that can identify with why she most likely wanted the operation, especially considering that several responses were from women. I am terrified of operations in general (not to mention ones that require extensive time and skill), but I suspect that I would have made a similar decision and had the operation.
1 person likes this
@bounce58 (17387)
• Canada
7 Jan 11
In a way, I think I respect her decision to go through this process. I think this is more for her self esteem than anything else. Considering that she isn't that young anymore, and that she's suffered through this cancer for more than 8 years, I think she is just wanting to be a little whole to take back some of the life that has been taken out of her.
And I think it's great that you're there to support her Sandra!
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
8 Jan 11
Hello, Bounce. I respect her decision, even though I don't agree with it, and I know she'd do the same if it were the other way around. I just hope she doesn't come to regret it, that's all.
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
13 Jan 11
Hello, Shar19. She's now home from hospital, and wondering whether it was all worth it herself. Hopefully when the trauma settles down she'll be happy with her new body.
@Wizzywig (7847)
•
8 Jan 11
I am so pleased for your friend that she has been given the all-clear & can see that her choice is something of a 'celebration' for her. She has been through a traumatic time poor woman. It seems like an awfully long time to be in surgery... In my area, they dont offer that type of reconstruction they transfer muscle from the shoulder as they say its easier to keep the circulation going as they dont have to sever as many connections (or something like that). I can understand your friend opting for reconstruction. It is how SHE feels about herself and its really of no consequence how her husband feels. Just because she is married doesnt mean she doesnt need to look/feel good. Six weeks is not a long time given what she must have already endured. I dont think I would go through that amount of surgery but I would certainly go for something like an implant & be prepared to spend a couple of months getting over it.
1 person likes this
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
8 Jan 11
Hello, Wizzy. I never really thought about it like that, but you're right. It is a celebration in a way, even though to my mind it's a funny way to celebrate! She's recovering well at the moment, although it's early days yet.
@vandana7 (100271)
• India
6 Jan 11
Hi Sandra, each one of us varies in what we associate ourselves with. Therefore, I might be good in singing, you might be good in writing, and another person may be good in painting. At times, there may be more than one talent witth us. When we are successful with such things others praise us. We kind of get addicted to that. It is purely my surmise. In the case of this lady, her self-esteem must be taking a beating. I'd say ok. :)
1 person likes this
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
6 Jan 11
Hello, Vandana. You could be right about that. I really can't understand what made her want to put herself through all that pain, although I do respect that she had to make the decision herself, and I'll support her all the way.
@sanjay91422 (2725)
• India
6 Jan 11
I think she is a tough woman and she have a zeal to live so I take her side.I am happy that she is now cancer free. Wish her good luck from me.
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
6 Jan 11
Hello, Sanjay. Yes, she is a strong lady. I'm on her side all the way - I just worry for her, because she's got a lot of pain to go through before this is all finished. Thanks for your good wishes.
@abbey19 (3106)
• Gold Coast, Australia
6 Jan 11
Hi Sandra. Sorry to hear about your friend. Ten hours in surgery is an awfully long time, but she pulled through that, so there is every chance of a good recovery for her.
On a personal note, there is no way I would put myself through that kind of surgery at that age. It sounds like she has a caring, supportive husband who loves her for what she is and that would re-inforce my decision not to have that kind of operation. But - we are all different and she obviously felt she needed to go through with it; ultimately it is her decicion.
I hope and pray for a full recovery for her, albeit a long one from that kind of surgery.
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
6 Jan 11
Hello, Abbey. Yes, the surgery was the biggie - now she's through that, it should be okay. Her husband didn't want her to put herself through it, but he recognised it needed to be her decision. She's a very insecure person, and I just hope she's not pinning too much on all this.
@Sandra1952 (6047)
• Spain
6 Jan 11
Hello, Dawn. Don't think I could cope with all that either. I'm just glad it wasn't me that had the choice to make. She came through surgery well, so that's the worst part of it out of the way.
1 person likes this
