Wrong husband, big mistake...

I think it is almost instinct for people to point the finger at someone else. People often feel the need to make excuses for their actions and defend them even though they are at guilt. I think there are many scenarios that are described by your discussion. Some extreme and some not so but nonetheless...happens often. I think that it boils down to having to decide what we expect and what our standerds are. The thing is that if your chosen does not hold the same standerds..it can be trouble. I would feel betrayed by lacking the heart and thoughts of my lover but some people might just feel betrayed by a physical act.

Hello friend little confuse about your description so based on your discussion title we cannot blame all failure of marriage to husband. Ok sometimes husband has own bad action but not at all, means not all man have the same character of cheating. There are many outthere that great husband and responsible man. Those few are very isolated and sometimes both man and woman also the same... see you around

Well i think they dont know each other that well when they got married. Maybe dated for a few months or so but yet thats only the guess. The best and only solution to this would be a divorce since there is no point in holding to each other when they no longer love each other and care for someone else. Specially the husband since he now have a child. They should get a divorce and marry those they really love. I think that would be fair since both of them found their own.

Well Mostly Girls do the same thing, they love som1 else and marry those on whom she can depend, so it clear that womens are all cheaters, when they love they never think of monetary benefits, but when they r going to marry, they compare their love with someone else who has monetary power

So both are cheating each other and no body wants to admit the fault, i too had heard about one such couple, they ended up in divorce, too bad, couples should be clean, no cheating lol. thanks for the story kalyani

maybe it is not a problem in china like soucke ,weicome to my worknet www.soucke.com ???

I would say not a coincidence, but an amazing fact of human nature. I have seen it many times where one person is all over another person because of something they have said or done. But yet, if you analyze what the distraught person is doing in their life, you will see the same mistakes. We are very blind to our own faults. That is why we need a gentle friend to point out our faults.

hello, This really happens when one can not stay faithful in a relationship. They should have not get married if they don't trust and love each other that much. Anyway,they can talk things over...and decided what's best for them,rather than staying in a relationship cheating each other.

typical human nature we always see the faults of others not ours both of them cheated and it will affect thier relationship

I don't think that there is any kind of coincidence that we are able to find fault in others but don't realize that we have the same kinds of faults. The reason that I think that we aren't able to see our own faults is that we are mostly blind to them. The situation that you've shared is one of the most vivid kinds of betrayal that we can face in our lives. I love my husband and he knows that, but he also does know that there is a piece of me that loves and will always love my ex-boyfriend, so because I've admitted that to him, this is not something that I am guilty of.

Wow, pretty confused with your description up there. I guess men are more intended to cheat than women. They might simply see any woman at the street, and give a second thought of thinking sleeping with that woman. So, it is hard to tell whether a person is a cheater type or not.

hello buggles64! both of them is at fault if i may say so. The husband is physically cheating while the wife is an emotional cheater. Cheating, in its various forms, could only be called as cheating, nothing more or less. Since time immemorial, people had already been admonished for always looking out for the fault of others and failing to see their own faults. It is even pointed out in the bible that such behavior is not acceptable, that we should look for our own failings and faults, before looking on to others. If we continue to act like this, it is as if we make ourselves bigger than we really are, by belittling other people through pointing out their faults and refusing to acknowledge our own mistakes and failings. Life is simple but it is the people who are making it complex.

trying to understand the inner feelings of someone is difficult job involving a lot of thing as size. but most difficult to precisely control our own feeling. that we are only that ordinary human being with all the advantages and disadvantages.

Hi, buggles. Even the bible talks to us about not being able to see the faults in ourselves because we are too busy looking at the faults of others. The bible also talks about even lusting after someone in our hearts is a sin, regardless of whether or not we actually do anything about. So, you are right, the woman in your story is just as guilty as the man. But it is much easier for us to blame the other person than to think we may be at fault also. Maybe she thought if she brought his indescretion out in the open that it would make hers seem smaller.

Sometimes pain blinds the eyes. A hurt person does illogical things and thinks she can get compensation by hurting too the one that cause her much pain. But how one can right a wrong by doing another mistake? The pain would not only continue but will ruin both of them. Better to have forgiveness and stop blaming each other. The damage had been done and they should pick up whatever pieces had been left and start from it.