How do you bring down your anger? give me some tips...

India
January 14, 2011 7:41am CST
Hello friends... I am short tempered. I am not able control my anger. I go on shouting the people when i was angry. And later i will feel sorry. I dont want to be a short tempered person. so please help me. What do you do to bring down your anger? Can you give me some tips to control my angry...
8 people like this
38 responses
• Philippines
14 Jan 11
It'a alll about how you manage your anger. All of us have boiling points but we just have to remember that the problem we're facing won't ever be solved by getting a bit violent. What I do is I take 3 deep breaths. Drink water or wash my face - sounds funny but it helps a lot. This makes the negative vibe go away and welcomes positivity as you will feel fresh.
• India
14 Jan 11
The way you control your anger is really nice. I do follow. Thank you friend for giving suggestions. Have nice day.
15 Jan 11
my anger was so bad i use to black out, an then for months i have headaches... it wasn't until i was told it could kill me that i started trying to control it... all i do now when i start getting angry is remember that it could kill me, and i just close my eyes take deep breaths an find juice or water to drink.
• India
16 Jan 11
ufff... anger can make that much worse. I am much worried now. definitely i have to cut it down. thanks friend.
• United States
15 Jan 11
I used to have anger issues worse than you! If my husband and I were to ever get in an argument and he were to close up and want to speak about it later, I'd want to solve it THEN. This would get me angry. Yelling, insults, both of those started, but it really got bad when I started destroying things I could get my hands on, just so I wouldn't touch my husband in a bad way. What worked for me is to leave the situation. The problem isn't going to fix itself, but anger only complicates things. I'd put on my shoes, get my purse, and go driving. In one instance I literally took a mini road trip, driving two and a half hours away until the road ended, but I needed to think--and without anger! Definitely leave the situation. Nothing good comes from getting angry and continuing on. Sometimes anger turns into violence against people, or in my situation, objects. Who knows how many things I've cut up over the years simply because I didn't want to leave and get fresh air (including a pair of hubby's shoes, old love letters, pictures, etc., anything to project my anger onto him). That method definitely got my husband to act and feel bad that the situation ever started, but I'm glad that I've found a way to deal with it without having to subject fear on all sorts of material objects around the house. Good luck. And as for all those people you've yelled at in times of anger, let them know you feel guilty, apologize, and tell them you're trying to work on the anger. Not once did one of my anger fits go by that I didn't profusely apologize to my husband, and we attempted to brainstorm ideas together. Good luck!
• India
16 Jan 11
its interesting to know about you. And what you have said is also right. we have to leave the situation. As you said anger may turn into violence, hence it is better to control. And as you said it is good to show them how we feel after we shouted on them. you are really nice. Thanks yaar.... Have good day...
@lady1993 (27224)
• Philippines
1 Feb 11
They always say count from 1-10 and take a deep breath... I say, shout and let it all out- just shout don't say bad words. Go out on an open field or something and let your emotions out then go back with a clear head and talk to those people you'e angry at.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
1 Feb 11
I have the same problem as yours - being short tempered. But would you believe that i have at least conquered it, because i seldom get angry anymore. What i am doing is , i take Vitamin B1,6,12 supplements. Since i take this i seem to be always having calmer nerves. Most of all, in the morning it is always my prayer for God to help me control my temper at all times. But whenever i did get angry, it would immediately dissipate. Then, i would not say in words my apology, but do it in action to the person i have gotten angry with. I would sometimes, buy her a burger or a snack. Or sometimesi would text for an apology, because i feel ashamed telling it on her face. So, usually they would kid me at the office "aren't you going to get angry with me too, so you could give me a burger?"
@buli23 (550)
• India
25 Jan 11
Angry is the part of life but we have to control it. I think every people got angry , some able to control and some are not control. Due to the angriness there are many problem in our society. When I going to take any steps got angry at first I think that if i take this steps my family members have to face many problem and i became cool down. I thing you may practice this to cool down yourself.
15 Jan 11
Hi I find when I'm angry the best way for me to calm down is to go on a short jog to give myself time to think and get rid of some of the built up energy. Obviously this isn't always possible (at work for example) at these times i take deep breaths until i can get myself to somewhere quiet away from the aggravation to get myself a hot drink. But these two things are only temporary solutions aimed at giving myself time to think about how to deal with the situation, as the sooner its dealt with the easier it will be and the less escalation there will be. Hope this helped
• India
15 Jan 11
hi... welcome to mylot, It is nice you try to get rid of your anger. Rather than showing it on the others. Wish you all the best.
@LittleMel (8742)
• Canada
19 Jan 11
I can only say personally I protect myself from people spewing negativity sometimes by avoiding them, sometimes by closing the door if I can that way in energy level, they can't hit me since I do this, I am always calm and detached from negativity around me I also do regular cleansing which helps abundant I have actually gained physical health too even gain weight where as I have been skinny for 15 years lol what you make out of life is what you put into it before you get upset, consider whether the person is worth your time and effort most people are not anyway, so don't let anger hurt your health in the long run just pi ss them off back lol
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
17 Jan 11
I used to be just as short-tempered as you are but eversince I started studying the Word of God, I changed. I've learned that God never wants me to be short tempered. being angry is different from being short-tempered. Anger is part of emotion and we can never avoid getting angry especially when the situation rightfully calls us to be so. But we can always be angry without sinning. Being short-tempered led us to sin because when we do, we utter words that hurt people and even our own image and person. We can be angry but we can always express our anger in a more tactful way so that we could rebuke and in the process correct the person who sin against us instead of just shouting and embarrassing them. It is also important that we don't hold grudges. As the Bible states in Ephesians 4:26-27 " Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:Neither give place to the devil." Now let the word of God speak to you more. Here are some more Bible passages that helped me overcome my short temper: ( Ihope these help you!) From the King James Verson of the Holy Bible - [i] Proverbs 14:17 17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated. Proverbs 14:29 He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly. Proverbs 17:28 Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. Provebs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression. Proverbs 25:28 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools. Proverbs 22:24-25 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul. Ephesians 4:29-32 Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: [/i][b][/b]
@celticeagle (166912)
• Boise, Idaho
15 Jan 11
To know your problem is to be half way there. My grandson has this problem and his PSR worker has taught him what is called 'The Turtle'. When you realize you are angry you literally hug yourself. There are actually four steps. 1. is you Stop what your are doing. 2. you take a deep breath ( I think breathing is very important) 3.Fold your arms across your chest. and then 4. say the problem and how you feel. I think communicating how you feel is very important too.
• United States
15 Jan 11
I always had a temper that went off without any real reason for the explosion. I discovered why as I got older. When a person said something that hurt me or denigrated someone else, I was too timid to respond, so the anger built up to the point that when some minor infraction took place, my temper ripped the person apart who really had done nothing. I learned to be more outgoing and to respond immediately to the person making a slur against me or my relatives or friends. I found I could respond in a quieter manner that let the person know my feelings without blowing my top. It helped tremendously.
@aerous (13434)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
You need to be calm down all the time. It's not good being like that, my friend. To make you control your anger...you need to be considerate think others right and also thinks that no one will be perfect in this life... Be a reasonable person and every time you feel angry. Just first think the consequences that you created...
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
25 Jan 11
I too have a very short temper. What i do is think of the promise i made to my bf that i will really try to control my temper. Thinking the many times i have hurt him really is not a good thing so i bare that in mind when im angry and i really try hard to control my temper. Try to think of your love ones getting hurt because of your temper, maybe it will help you control it.
@brendz (16)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
i have lots of ways to bring down my anger, like punching the wall or someone near me..hehe joke im not that violent, when im angry i just control it by thinking beforehand the consequences of my act when i let myself succumb to that feeling. sometimes if i cant take it anymore ill just scream at the top my lungs and sometimes ill just cry it out. thats all..hehe
@Jlyn10 (11965)
• Malaysia
16 Jan 11
I guess bringing down your anger is not easy. Maybe if you think of something sweet and nice that has happened in your life, that would help.
@thaMARKER (2503)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
i rarely get mad. but whenever i do. i tend not to talk to people. i prefer being alone. let my anger slip. i don't talk as well especially about it. i listen to music most of the time, it helps. i sometimes go somewhere unintentionally. i buy food that'll somehow divert my head and when it's served, i don't eat it. i go out for a walk even though i don't like walking. i recently discovered this that walking while listening to music can help me calm myself. but only during the night though. i hate sunshine. hehehehe..
@pogi253 (1596)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
so so angry - angry is not good
The feeling of anger is neither good nor bad. It’s completely healthy and normal to feel angry when you’ve been physically abused or mistreated. The feeling isn't the problem—it's what you do with it that makes a difference. Anger becomes a difficulty when it harms you or others. If you have a hot temper, you may feel like it’s out of your hands and there’s slight you can do to tame the beast. But you have more organize over your anger than you think. You can be trained to express your emotions without hurting others and when you do, you’ll not only think better, but you’ll also be more likely to get your needs met. Mastering the art of anger management takes work, but the further you practice, the easier it will get. And the payoff is huge. Learning to manage your anger and express it appropriately will help you build healthier relationships, attain your goals, and lead a better, more satisfying life.
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
First, take a deep breath... And count one to ten. It's never good t be angry at all the little things. So, you should also try your best and control your temper, or just shout in open space to let it out or something.. Hope this helps.
• Philippines
15 Jan 11
hello srinivas! I am also very temperamental and although i don't really shout, i sort of get into a frenzied physical expression of my anger. I have learned to control it however, though counting up to 20 before reacting to anything or anyone. The duration lets me rethink of my proposed actions and what i am going to do, its effects and who should be affected.
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
15 Jan 11
Controlling our temperament is what we strive for as human beings. We have tools within us that help us to control our emotions. Our talents, which we are born with, and our character, which we develop through our life's experiences. Our character lets us know that we need to control ourselves, and our talents provide the outlet for controlling ourselves. Bury yourself in one of your well developed talents and you will see that control comes easier. When i was younger, physical activity helped me to control my anger. When I got angry I would go run or punch the heavy bag. Now i turn on the music and sing along or I start writing as quickly as i can. One thing that is important is that we have to express the anger in positive ways so that we don't let our negative expressions get us in trouble.
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
15 Jan 11
Hey,friend.I think you should learn to calm down,well,maybe that is not an easy task,but you should control it.Your shouting at other people certainly would hurt others. So just try to think about something when you almost OUT! So far i think this is the best way to control yourself and also this is good to both of you guys.Anyway,this is not a big deal,just try to relax yourself and try to think of happy things... And listening to some music is a good idea,don't you think so?