should you reveal your flaw to your new date?
By pit33pit
@pit33pit (534)
Indonesia
January 17, 2011 3:21pm CST
is it considered honest to show a someone your flaws when you just started dating? or will it just scare him away?
what your opinions on this:] feel free to speak your mind:]
8 responses
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
17 Jan 11
For me a first date is not to air out all of our flaws. It is to discuss interests, however if my date per say was to ask me about certain areas of my life that had flaws I would be one hundred percent honest. As my thinking is what you see is what you get.
So if he runs the other way it was not right for me. If he stays that means he is willing to accept me for me.
@hedgielady (96)
• United States
18 Jan 11
I'm with you on this one, hardworkinggurl. I'm not suggesting hiding flaws, but saving the revelation/exposure of them until you know the person a bit more, in terms of having common enough interests that the relationship seems worth pursuing. If they ask questions, I'd definitely be honest as well, though even then you don't have to give too much information right away. Give a bit, and decide on your comfort limits. If you're not ready yet to reveal certain flaws, you can tell the person however much you're comfortable with, then nicely let them know there are some things you're not yet comfortable talking about with them, especially on a first date.
@infatuatedbby (94914)
• United States
17 Jan 11
What is your flaws??
Well, when I dated my boyfriend I told him straight up when we dated to let him know so I wouldn't lead him on and he wouldn't lead me on. But we connected easily and had same thoughts/perspectives but it really depends how the guy is. My boyfriend & I are now going on our 4 years together so it really depends.... It's a hard question to answer. I know some guys I dated, I didn't tell them my flaws because that would probably scare them away, it just depends what feels right.
@buggles64 (2709)
• United States
18 Jan 11
I have the opinion we should be honest at all times, but by not telling every detail about yourself right away, will lend itself to learning something new about each other until a trust is created...and definitely we don't want to reveal all of our flaws all at once, because that for certain will scare our date away. I am usually to much of an open book anyway, so if someone can't handle my flaws from the beginning, then they don't need to be in my life, because...no one is perfect!
@macdingolinger (10386)
• United States
18 Jan 11
I think there is some wisdom in just being yourself and letting yourself be honest. But it's not good to just sit down at the first date and just start listing all your faults! Let him find them out! lol! Like I said, be yourself and be honest they will all come to light soon enough!
@klarian (49)
• Philippines
3 Feb 11
i think that's a bold move on the part of that person. i think it is admirable because you dont pretend to be somebody you are not. although, it is normal that you always put your best foot forward on a first date to impress the person you like. but to keep on pretending every single date, i think that's not good already.
@desertsong (94)
• Philippines
18 Jan 11
I think it is not good to show him/her your flaws when you're just getting to know each other. Because if you do he/she might end up avoiding you. The perfect timing to show him/her might be when two are comfortable with each other already.
@fabsprecious (1565)
• United States
17 Jan 11
If it were me, I would leave discussing my flaws for a future date. It's your first date, discuss your interests, what you like, what you don't like, discuss things that don't involve personal information and your flaws are definitely one of those things you want to preserve for another date.
Once you have established some type of a dating relationship and you continue to see that person one a more steady basis, then yes little by little you should let your flaws known, so it won't be a surprise to him or her.
But personally if you do let the person know your flaws on your first date, I personally think you will probably scare that person away.
@jricky1 (6800)
• China
18 Jan 11
I think we should be honest,and you just who you are.If he likes you,he would accept what you are.It would certainly not scare him away.Maybe he would think that you are cute and didn't pretend that you are like an princess...Everybody has flaws and if you succeed the first time and he didn't find out,but if your relationship continues,he would finally find it.So just be real,he also wants his gf to be a real person.
