How to stop being a victim.
By Pose123
@Pose123 (21635)
Canada
January 25, 2011 8:25am CST
In life there will always be times when we are affected by the actions of another person. When this happens, we often receive an apology and more often than not we say, "It's alright," or " It's okay," when it really isn't okay, because by saying this we are giving permission for the behavior to happen again.
Many of us have the idea that it is easier to brush off how we really feel than to express our discomfort with something that has happened to us. While this may initially seem like the best thing to do, what it really does is put us into an unending pattern of behavior; since we are not honest with another person, we continue the cycle of letting them overstep our emotional limits time and time again. By doing this we place ourselves in the position of victim. We can put an end to this by first acknowledging to the other person that we accept their request for forgiveness; often a simple thank you is enough. To truly create a greater sense of harmony in our relationship, however, we need to gently, and with compassion, express our innermost concerns about what has transpired. The next time this happens, take a deep breathe,find the right words to say and verbalize them in a way that lets the other person know how you really feel.Do you agree?
4 people like this
10 responses
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
25 Jan 11
Hi Pose: IO think that the best way to stop being a victim is learning from our experiences in order to not let the others put us in a position like this. I forgive persons but at the same time they should know that every action has its consequences and maybe if they do something wrong to me I can't trust in them anymore.
ALVARO
2 people like this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
27 Jan 11
Hi starsailover, Good point, and the idea has to be to set the other person straight, so that both can learn from the experience. If he/she doesn't change and it is someone that we don't have to see everyday, it would be best to find other friends. Everyone learns eventually. Thanks for sharing. Blessings.
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
25 Jan 11
I think being a victim in one situation not always is normal because sometimes you learn from it. However, if always you are a victim you must check yourself may something wrong with your way or technique in this life. Some says be wise and aware for aour decission in life. Learn from our previous mistake, don't ever trial and error method, if possible make is sure.. see you around
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
26 Jan 11
We are most often victims because we allow it to happen. Nobody deserves to be a victim. there is no need to be anybody's victim in this world. Standing up for yourself and what you believe help to make you less of a victim. Being aware if your surroundings also helps you not to become a victim.1 person likes this
@mysticalecstasy (472)
• Pakistan
25 Jan 11
OK let me tell you my point of view! From personal experience i have found that hum,an nature very easily portrays the victim as it is the easy way out!! Not taking responsibility for one's action or conduct and laying the blame of someone's shoulder, letting some other fellow take the rap!!
Accordingly in this case, the person needs to focus when such a situation arises and accept gracefully that one has done a wrong deed, cause, which has produced this effect! Now remedy the cause!! I guess this would be looking at it from different angle!!
1 person likes this
@mysticalecstasy (472)
• Pakistan
27 Jan 11
I know my idea lays the blame on the victim but i guess i find the notion once a victim always a victim difficult to digest!!
@suguwillu (113)
•
25 Jan 11
Hi,
yes i strongly agree what you said. but even i have faced these situation in my life many times.
when i face those kind of situation before i do tell something the time goes off. the reactions of the people is rude. i always stuck there. after all i come to home lock the door and cry.
that time i decide to behave good but it happens again.
i am weakened. particularly with my mother in-law.
i will try to do more as you say.
and remember for sure.
@wilmscz (104)
• Philippines
26 Jan 11
hi there! that's true. our inactions and sometimes lame actions causes others to hurt or offend us repeatedly. we just sometimes ignore it or acknowledge the apology quickly just to brush off the situation. these gives them the idea that they can hurt us or offend us again because they know how to say their "sorries". as for me, i hate discussions or confrontations, but we must teach these people some lessons so they'll know the consequences they'll get if they do it again.
1 person likes this
@zapatee (477)
• Philippines
25 Jan 11
i quite agree, pose. it has happened to me quite a number of times in the past. i've allowed myself to be a victim with my own lame reactions, or worse, inaction, to some forms of abuse by some people. the good thing is that i've learned to grow and use these experiences to be a better person. while some people may not understand our motives for changing our attitude it is, however, important that we let them know why especially when they keep repeating the same kind of actions or their wrong treatment of us. otherwise, they may think that what they're doing are acceptable or correct.
1 person likes this
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
25 Jan 11
Is okay to forgive others ,but is important to let them know how we feel. Also, is important to let them know that their actions were wrong ,and they need to stop hurting others. Is not okay to cause pain and create trouble even if we say that we are sorry.
1 person likes this
@Pose123 (21635)
• Canada
27 Jan 11
Hi Mirita, Thank you for sharing your thoughts and I agree. Some people never become a victim because they stop it in the bud, while others just let it continue. As I said in the post, if someone says they're sorry, simple say thank you. Don't say "it's alright", because it isn't. If it happens a second time, they need to be told why it isn't right, but in a way that they can learn from, not something that will make them angry. Blessings.
@barehugs (8973)
• Canada
26 Jan 11
As I was going up the stair,
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today-
I wish that man would go away!
Ah, this innermost concern,
Say the right words,so he will learn,
And verbalize them all today.
Do you think the man will go away?
1 person likes this
