Dowry - the curse to the common people

@ catch, Hmnn...it's changing now lol..remember an Indian friend's dialog? (it's changing now)

You are absolutely right. It is like an auction and I am very much witness for several cases of the same. Mostly we don't have any voice when such matters are getting decided by the elders. All are in their hands and the bride or the groom are just obey their order. Parents would decide what and when all such things. In some countries the love and love marriages are highly promoted and given silent approval mainly because of such reasons only. In our place, if there is a love affair and it ends up with a marriage, dowry will not be a major issue and even if the subject come as a discussion, either party can't be more strict on it. In most of the arranged marriage, the bride has to give either in cash, gold, or other immovable property or any thing in kind they have to give. Now-a-days, they will demand for it and if unable to give, the marriage would not take place and they will move for a better 'deal'. Everyone is well aware of it and at many occasions, people become silent as it is a matter of future life and exclusive life decisions. Thank-s

@ jaiho, Yes how can i forget that dialog huh?it is true IT'S CHANGING but a thousand years old tradition is hard to change for some people and i hate it , how i wish i can change it with just one snap of my hands .

For those who are wealthy and rich, it can be ok. But there are a group of people who are living for unable to have food for atleast 2 times a day. Even they also may have one or two girl child and once they grow up, the parents should have to send with someone by marriage. In our place, such cases are many and those parents are too much in trouble and very difficult to get a man for their children. Girls at home will remain unmarried for a long period of time and some time never get married as they don't have money or wealth enough to give as dowry. This is not a joke, but a one sentence reality and it spoiled many families. When such things are come in face to face, the scene is very pathetic and the pain of the parents cannot be able to explain. Many a cases are well aware to me. We are helpless because the social set up is like that and I don't know to whom to blame for it and I am sure that the system in any way cannot be abolished. Thank-s

Hi dear, I feel proud of you. What we can do for it. Nothing. It is a system prevails here since long time and in different ways. Also, millionaires and rich people are considering it a pure business like venture. In fact we are not aware anything about the dowry and its implications. So many people's life has been spoiled and many families become pauper after a marriage in a house. Also, the children had to suffer in the name. Without telling also everyone is well aware of all these things. Here the main drawback is that even if we are not asking dowry at the time of our marriage, if we have a gild child in our house, if we need to send her out for marriage, we may have to give money or property. Otherwise we know what would be the future of the girl. Thank-s

Hello thanks, Yes I agree, providing ornaments to the girl now become a status symbol. If the family is very poor and boy’s family didn’t ask anything then also the girl’s parents felt that they should give something to save the face in society. Some people are very smart they will select a girl from a financially rich family and the girl may have the sole ownership of all property. In that case they won’t ask any dowry as they know the whole property will come to the hands of their son.

Wow! That is horrible! If such is the case than I am completely against it. What do you think about it?

HI Sid, Today there is a marriage in our building's one Panjabi family. They already got three days of celebrations. On 26th break fast, lunch and dinner were part of the marriage and today the celebrated wedding. I think they must have spend around 10 lakhs above as a basic expenses for it. This is just a single example. Like that how many marriages are happening around in a single day. We can imagine the expenditure in various ways like food, gold, other expenses etc. We cannot stop the system in any manner. It is a plague to the society. Even though the government has some kind of mechanism to control it, but it is only for name sake and a mock operation to fool around ordinary people. The wise man are know how to deal with such things. We are just lamenting on it and there is no point in even thinking also. We feel proud that we did not accept it. But other will call us fools. But it is for our satisfaction and feel proud of it. Regards, Thank-s

Hi dear, It is not well with everyone. People's background are not the same and many are really suffering from such evil traditional formalities. If something feel good we can adopt it, not problem. But if we identify that they are harmful to a particular section, it is needed to be discontinued and abandon for ever. If a family having 2-3 girl child, then their future is gone. The parents has to accumulate wealth from the very day they are born. It is quite sad and such things never do anything good to the common man instead it will destroy the peace of mind for ever. People who really face such instances only can how horrible is the system of dowry. Thank-s

Hi dear, I think you people are really blessed with the evil nonsense of the society. Here this is one of the worst social plague which destroys in many ways. Giving and asking is prevails here and sometimes one's life saving had to spend or give in the name of dowry. Thanks for your comments. Thank-s

Hi dear, Yes, once it has identified as harmful, it is to be root out or eliminated from the society as a whole. In our country, only because of this dowry system many families got spoiled and become so poor after the marriage in a family. Everyone is well aware of it and many are taking advantage of the same and it is my opinion that it should be deep rooted by law so that a family can survive normally. But when the case comes to individually, everyone is looking on for their own prosperity. This could be the reason why we cannot stop this evil from the face of earth. Thank-s

Hi dear, If the government is keen on stopping such system, they can easily implement and effectively introduce appropriate measures for it. But as this is the case, many of the top level people cannot run their 'business' properly due to this issue. So, I don't think this will be controlled properly. Though prohibited by law in 1961, the extraction of DOWRY from the bride's family prior to marriage still prevails. Whatever law is implemented, if the part to give or take, they can manage the same in any manner very smoothly. However, as you said, the poor is the sufferer. Also, the upper cast and higher and middle class people's inhuman system's victim is really the have not people and the common people only. Thanks for your comments. Thank-s