My family and my moms family live together
By margeryann
@margeryann (1845)
United States
February 3, 2011 3:01am CST
My family and my mom and step-dad have been living together for 10 years now. My husband talked to all of us probably 11 years ago saying that my mom and us could sale our houses and buy a house together and move in with each other that way when they get old and can't take care of their selves we can take care of them instead of them going to a nursing home and so we can help them out now before they get that bad.
So, we did that. We all get a long good.My mom and I share the choirs around the house to make things easier. I do most of the choirs she mainly washes dishes and sometimes does the wash but it still helps.
Sometimes we get on each others nerves but we have two different living rooms so we have more privacy. It is cool that I get to see my mom all the time though. We are close and we all good a long good. When we get on each others nerves we don't tell each other we just go in our own privacy area. When we want to be by our selves my mom spends a lot of time in her room in her chair watching tv, my step-dad spends time in one of the living rooms watching tv,my kids,me and my husband spend time in the other living room or our bedrooms. Having our own space helps us to get a long better.
5 people like this
17 responses
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
4 Feb 11
That kind of situation is very common where I come from. And it is good most of the time, because the family is close. I grew up with my grandma and grandpa around, and when my parents were busy at work, they were still there and it was great. (Well actually, we lived in their house because the house eventually went to my dad being the youngest son.) Now, I live in another city, but my brother (the second child) now lives in the ancestral house with his own family. My parents live a few steps away 
, wait, a garage away actually, and so they're still close to each other. Our youngest brother is still with my mum and dad, well as to the kitchen and living room, because his room and house is also a few meters away but he dines with them. But, I have a room in their house, too, and so I get to go home to mum and dad constantly, sometimes even twice a month.
, wait, a garage away actually, and so they're still close to each other. Our youngest brother is still with my mum and dad, well as to the kitchen and living room, because his room and house is also a few meters away but he dines with them. But, I have a room in their house, too, and so I get to go home to mum and dad constantly, sometimes even twice a month.@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. Sound very interesting . It's cool that all of your siblings and your parents get a long living so close together. I have heard that some countries it is very common to live like that. It isn't where I live so a lot of people are surprised by it. They think at first that we are living together so we can mooch off of my mom but it isn't like that. We help each other out financially.We still have our own bills that we don't help eachother with though.
1 person likes this
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
4 Feb 11
Well, they live close together, but as to getting along, hmmm... sometimes my two brothers have issues between them. Once I was summoned because we had to have a "family talk" because there was a big row between them. I hope the talk did them good. But then I heard that it's now my mom and the bachelor brother having issues. I guess it's all a part of living so close together. It is quite often in my country because we believe that when our elders have grown old that we ought to take care of them. I haven't heard of any "home for the aging" here. A totally weird concept in here.
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
I hope the talk did them some good too. That is good that they don't have homes for older people there. The older people will be treated better there most of the time that way. Nursing homes for older people here most of the time they don't get taking care of that good.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
3 Feb 11
that is just wonderful. i only have 2 kids like that that i can get along with that well and it probably helps having a large home. iam living with one right now, my oldest son and sharing expenses also helps a lot in this day and economy. 
but are you the only child or is it just because you are the one shes close to? like i said im close to 2 out of 5. my oldest daughter id never be able to get along with no matter how big the house. 
it seems shes always upset with me about something. but my youngest daughter and oldest son are the ones i can always get on with totally well. 
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
4 Feb 11
im not sure. sometimes i think my youngest son might be but he knows i love his 2 babies but cant live with them all the time. my youngest daughter might be a little, since i lived with her for a while but had to leave florida because of so many snakes around my residence and she couldnt come with me. but thats she would only be jealous because she'd like to be the one with me more. 
shes my big baby girl. cause we've always been close in heart and ways.1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. I have an older sister but she is like the ones that you wouldn't be able to live with. She is hard to live with and there was a lot of jealousy from her for a while about us living together. My mom gets a long with her but knows that she wouldn't be able to live with her. Is any of your kids jealous of your son living with you?
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160677)
• United States
4 Feb 11
What a really wonderful situation. Families used to do this, but that was a long time ago.I am glad you have plenty of space. Your husband sounds pretty smart. I hope you have lots of years sharing space and chores.
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting.The space definitely helps. My husband is a good man and is very smart.We've been living together for 12 years now. It has gotten easier as time goes by. It was definitely a sacrifice and we had to organize the house in away to make us get along better and it is like a marriage it takes everyone in the house to make it want to work for it to work.
@aprilsong (1884)
• China
4 Feb 11
Hi,margeryann,you have maken great and right choice for your family. You know, the happiest thing when one get old is he or she can be with kids and grandkids around and enjoy the pleasure of being cared. We chinese have a tradition of living with one's parents. You know, there were four generations under one roof in some families. Now there are more and more small families, and kids don't want to live with their parents. Some for the financial problems, but most for the freedom. Because different generations think differently.
So there are so many sad news about some elders live lonely. It is especially hard for those who lose their life partners. I think as a daughter or son, we should try to consider for our parents,let them be more happier in their old age.
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. That's cool that you feel that way about your parents.It is sad on older people being a lone and being mistreated. It is cool when children make sure they are being took care of properly and we get to be around them more and have more memories with them and our kids get to enjoy their grandparents more.
@jalucia (1431)
• United States
3 Feb 11
I think your situation is great. In America we frown upon people who live with their parents. But, what is wrong with having more help, more love, and more support in the home? I think if you can get along with each other, this is a wonderful arrangement. Nobody gets along all of the time. The fact that you get on each other's nerves and you know how to deal with it so that it doesn't get out of hand shows that you can successfully live together. I think that everyone benefits from this situation - especially the kids.
1 person likes this
@Marmot (590)
• United States
3 Feb 11
I agree with you. If a family can live with the parents family harmonic, it is great for everyone in the family. Parents can get help when they grow old, young have less household to do, and the children can be take care of by the old when their parents are at work. It is a very good picture that everyone lives happily.
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Jalucia and Marmot, Thank you for your comments.My kids do like it a lot because they get to see there grandparents everyday. Sometimes my youngest doesn't because there is more eyes to catch him doing something wrong but other then that he likes it. LOL.
It does make less choirs for everyone and like the yard my husband only has to mow one yard now when he was mowing there yard and our yard which makes less work for him that way too and My mom's family and my family put our dirty clothes in the same dirty clothes basket whoever gets to it first is the one that washes the clothes of both of the families. We do it everyday because it piles up fast.
I don't think it would work out as good as it does if there wasn't different areas for us all to go in the house to not get on each others nerves as much.
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting.If we didn't have personal space I don't think it would of worked.
@Monkeyrose (2840)
• Canada
3 Feb 11
I think that is great. my parents have helped me out a lot and I hope someday I will be able to repay them and help them out. It sounds like a really good situation to me. I was talking to my Indian friend once and she and her husband live with her mother in law. She said there is no point in moving out because eventually they will move back in with them. Apparantly in the Indian culture they don't believe in putting their parents in old folks homes. They take care of them themselves. I find this very admirable.
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting and for the nice comments! That is how we feel we want to know that my mom and husband will be treated well when they can't take care of themselves. There is lots of older people being mistreated in homes. We hope it never gets that bad but you never now and we will now as soon as it gets that way living with them and they can get more help now with somethings. That is neat how some customs are in kids taking care of parents.
1 person likes this
@eurekafemme (5877)
• Philippines
4 Feb 11
Having your own space for privacy is the key thing to having that good relationship with your parents despite of living with them under the same roof.
Here in my country,Philippines, it is a common thing to see parents and children who have family of their own still living under the same roof. However, it is difficult to maintain harmonious relationship especially if the husbands do not earn enough for the family and enough to share to the other family. Also, jealousy among siblings are more likely to happened.
I admire your husband, though, for thinking of your parents' welfare. nOT ALL HUSBAND WOULD BOTHER TO THINK OF THEM.You have got a good man.
Here in my country,Philippines, it is a common thing to see parents and children who have family of their own still living under the same roof. However, it is difficult to maintain harmonious relationship especially if the husbands do not earn enough for the family and enough to share to the other family. Also, jealousy among siblings are more likely to happened.
I admire your husband, though, for thinking of your parents' welfare. nOT ALL HUSBAND WOULD BOTHER TO THINK OF THEM.You have got a good man.1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. You are right it is a big sacrifice it is definitely harder emotionally sometimes then living with your own family. It took sometime to get used to and to change things around the house to make things better. There was a lot of Jealousy with my sister so I know exactly what you are talking about.
My husband is a good man to think of that because it isn't a easy situation.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
3 Feb 11
Some families have the abilities of living very well together. With multiple families, there will always be disagreements, but the bonds of unity can be even stronger. In these tough economic times, more and more families may be living as one.@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. It does make things financially better. It is expensive to live. Shared utilities helps.
1 person likes this
@buli23 (550)
• India
3 Feb 11
It is very good that your Mom,You and your step mothers live in a single house. I think you spend a good life and you are enjoying your life very much with your own person. Now a days it is seen very rear. To keep this condition you should very careful about the all sentimental matter.
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. Yes, it was hard when it comes to things. They didn't want to get rid of nothing so we had to get rid of our furniture and a lot of other things because both of our things wouldn't fit. It took a lot of sacrifice and it took time to get used to the situation, We've been living together for 12 years now and we all are used to it now. We had to make it to where we all could watch different things in different rooms because they wanted to watch what they wanted to watch all the time which was upsetting for us and that helped and we have two living rooms in our house and they both wanted to be in both rooms all the time so I had to make a rule to where one living room was theirs and one was ours so we could watch our stuff in ours and they could in ours and we could decorate one and they could decorate the other so we didn't feel like we were living in there house. Things have got a lot easier over time.
1 person likes this
@rushian09 (139)
• Philippines
4 Feb 11
Yeah, it's a cool thing you got there. Me too, I want to live forever in our house. I want to take care of my parents when they grow old. I will not let them go to a nursing home. I love my family, I love to see them all the time. I love to share them my stories. I love being with my family. THE FAMILY THAT PRAYS TOGETHER STAYS TOGETHER.
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting.I want to know how my parents are treated. A lot of older people are being mistreated at nursing homes.It is neat getting to see family more.I've heard that saying before it is a good saying.
@MamaCat38 (19)
• United States
3 Feb 11
I think that it is great that you and your husband would want to take care of your parents. What a wonderful thing. It is awesome for the kids to be around their grandparents like that. Me on the other hand, both of my parents are gone, and my mother in law as well, all we have is my father in law. He would drive my husband crazy if we tried to live with him. (I know because we had to for about 4 months) It was much better when he moved in to the house next door. LOL
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. It definitely isn't for everyone and it takes a lot of sacrifice to do this and to get used to the sacrifice and it is like a marriage it takes everyone to want this to work for it to work and to have a place for people to go when someone is driving them crazy. LOL.
@Marmot (590)
• United States
3 Feb 11
You have a really harmonic family. Really. To get along well with parents is not a easy thing. So many people can not stand to live with parents and they move out as soon as they can afford a house. Just want to be independently. Sometimes parents have different ideas or habits that we don't like. So, so many people choose to live themselves instead live with their parents. I think you really have a great family. Good luck!
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. You're definitely right a lot of people can't live together it was definitely a sacrifice for all of us and we had to figure out how to make things around the house be more private so we all feel we have more privacy and it takes all of us on caring for each others feelings.We've been living together for 12 years and over time things have got better.
1 person likes this
@sanmru (50)
• Australia
4 Feb 11
It is very nice to know your great idea and i have the same idea but i don't know how much i would be successful as my wife is not working and i have so much debts of my parents and they are now very old so i should take care of them and need to taking care of money. here the problem is my wife's parents are also growing old and she want to take care of them so she has the plan of moving them in but the problem is I am the only earner and this is not at all sufficient to take care of these people. and after one or two years we are planning for kids. my wife is trying for job but she is not successful so she is getting depressed in thinking of job and their parents and i am too. As we are trying without fail as one day we hope we will be successful and we can take care of our parents as like you.
1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting.That does sound like a hard situation. Hopefully everything works out to where you can. They might have to sell both of there houses and you sell your house if you all are buying your houses so you can move in together now and plan for the future by being able to afford a big enough house to where they will fit in it with you and your wife and future kids.It definitely needs to be big enough so everyone can have more privacy.Good luck and hopefully everything works out for you!It isn't for everyone that is for sure. What helps us financially too is they have there own income too even not working because of social security but I don't know if you have that where you live. We share the utilities which helps.
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
3 Feb 11
I think it's very nice for y'all to do that for your parents. There is no way i could have lived w/mine, lol.
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. It's definitely not for everyone and it definitely took me a long time to get use to not having my house to myself. It is a big sacrifice. It has had it's good points and its bad.
1 person likes this
@missybear (11391)
• United States
3 Feb 11
It seems to work out great for you but lots of families don't get along as well as you guys do.
It sure would help families a lot in these hard times if they could pull together and share a household.
For me and my mom it probably wouldn't work that well since I drive her crazy after she's only been here for a 2 week vacation
.
I always tell her..."Wouldn't you like me to move in with you and help you out?" and she just looks at me and says...."Maybe next door or across the street but in one apartment no way"
.
It sure would help families a lot in these hard times if they could pull together and share a household.
For me and my mom it probably wouldn't work that well since I drive her crazy after she's only been here for a 2 week vacation.
I always tell her..."Wouldn't you like me to move in with you and help you out?" and she just looks at me and says...."Maybe next door or across the street but in one apartment no way"1 person likes this
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
4 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. It definitely isn't for everyone. It took sometime to get used to the situation too. That is funny about you and your mom, LOL.
1 person likes this
@craftyhomebody (443)
• United States
4 Feb 11
i THINK IT'S GREAT AND THERE RIGHT A RESTHOME COST ALOT AND YOU OUR VERY LUCKY TO SEE YOUR MOM EVERYDAY I WISH I COULD DO THAT AND IF I WAS YOUR MOTHER I WOULD BE SO HAPPY HAVING MY GRAND CHILDREN RIGHT THERE ALL THE TIME THEY COULD REALLY GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER I THINK IT IS WONDERFUL
@margeryann (1845)
• United States
5 Feb 11
Thank you for commenting. They are very expensive that for sure and sometimes patients get mistreated and not taking care of that good. This way I won't have to worry if they are being taking care of properly. Thank you for the nice words and I do think it is nice that my kids get to see their grandparents a lot . I never got to see mine very often when I was a kid.
