Which is worse?

I have the same problem. I most always say yes to anyone's request. It's hard for me to turn down favors they ask from me.. "Could you help me?" "Could you do this for me?" "Come with us!" ..Really hard for me to say no. I don't want to disappoint people too. I don't know, but I think. It depends. I think that us saying yes to what ever they ask from us, even though we don't like it, makes us a good friend. BUT, our friends have to understand, that sometimes, we need our own space, you know? But whenever they invite me to something I really don't like going or doing, I sometimes become honest already and apologize, and say I'll make it up to them next time.

well mark, why do you think so much when it comes to friends? see, they will understand you if you express properly. in case you don't want to go somewhere, say the reason that you don't want to go cause you don't feel like it? or don't like the place they are visiting? whatever it is, just tell it to them. sometimes, it is ok if you want to spend time with yourself and not with your friends. so they will understand you better and give you time to do what you like

Hi mark, You know no one would ask for help inless it is very much required and when he or she can not do it by himseld/herself. There are lots of things someone can ask for help like money, or vehicle or ur physical need or many a times in countries like India help to get a job or tranfer if you are in govt job. So if i ask for help and person says yes then i am banking on him and then he make excuse it is so bad because if he had said no in first place i might have tried for someone else for help, but since he said yes i didnt approach anyone else. I hope you got the answer to your question.

The answer lies within yourself and your friends. If you feel guilty about telling your friends that you have other plans, then "yes" it is probably "wrong" for you. If your friends don't understand that you are simply not interested in that type of activity, and can not take "no" for an answer then it is "their problem." I have known people who won't take "no" for an answer, and sometimes they will "pressure" you to get what they want..and that is definitely "wrong." Unfortunately, with these people we might say we have other plans, and if you are doing something else at the time...even if you are spending time alone with yourself, then that is something that you are doing, so it is not really a "lie" and it's not really an "excuse."

I believe that if you ar going to refuse to do something, let it be known right away. Saying you will do something and then turning your back on that promise doesn't do a lot for your character. let someone know from the beginning that your heart is not in something.

Yes Dear, your YES should always be your YES and your NO should be your No even though it will hurt them at that point.

I think both have their disadvantages. But I think it is harder to accept and then refuse. Because people might think that you don't have a word of honor. People really value word of honor it says a lot about a person.

It dependa , refusing right away is prefered if I konw I can't fulfill the promise before.if I can't open my month to refuse,I will call him later and tell him the reason I have to refuse,I hink lie to friend is not always the bad things.

Learn how to say no to your friends when you really don't feel like going. It would hurt more for them to anticipate for your promise but would eventually turn out that you won't. Be honest. They are your friends and they will understand your predicament.

I have been is those tight situations. I think the better way to do it is not to give an answer right there and then. I think that you should find an excuse first to get away then think things over. Some people just puts you on the spot with their demands, for sure to wanted to give in but given certain circumstances, at times you need to say no. You just have to learn on how to squeeze your way out of these tight situations. You just have to remember that you do not need to give out an answer immediately. Your friends would understand if you can not come, and they will surely be disappointed when you have said yes but not be there.

IMO, it would be better to say no in the first place. It hurts to expect someone who isnt coming or expecting promises to be executed. So instead of producing guilt from your excuses, say no and I am quite sure they will understand in the long run.

Accepting and then making an excuse is the worse of the two. In fact, refusing right away isn't a bad thing at all. By being honest to your friends and yourself, you can save yourself feelings of guilt and save you friends disappointment. Not to mention, forcing yourself to do things you don't want to can lead to MORE self issues. If you don't speak your mind, your friends will never know the REAL you, and sadly neither will you & if they are your real friends they should be selfless enough to just understand Be honest .