Why do people get upset, irritated or mad just because I don't talk to them?

When you figure this out please let me know. I've been trying to figure this out for years. We had a sitter that was great and then just because I didn't text her back for 3 days during the thanksgiving holiday she got all butt hurt and then the friendship thought we had wound up being all about money. so i straight up just blew her off and moved on with my life. I was straight up with her and told her that when she gets the money we are going to go with someone else and she comes back with "well what do you mean i don't understand" and then for the next month she'd send text messages trying to get our business and she kept trying to add me on facebook, and when i wouldn't accept her she tried to portray herself as her hubby trying to add me, and then when that failed she tried her son. it's like catch a clue dang.

hi cream gifts said it better than I . I am a shy person and have to get to know people before I can relax abd be myself. some people may just be very lonely cream and want to be friends or again they be motormouth like my roomie is. She gets started when I am on mylot and at times drives me bananas too.Cream it still would not hurt you to at least say hi neighbor. I was in El Dorado gardens apartments fpr three years and neither of my next door neighbors would even say hi or hello. thats just too too reserved for me.I am not a talker but I have been taught to at least say hi to my neighbors as you never know when being friendly might be a boon.say you are alone with no car and nobody to drive you anyplace and you suddenly become violentgly ill. it would be nice if you had enough rapport with one of the next door neighbors that you could ask them to drive you to the ER as soon as they can. sometimes you will have to depend on strangers so do not be too reserved or unfriendly. I know a lot of us are quiet abd reserved but that does not mean we should never speak to new neighbors. I am not meaning to come off being critical but sometimes it pays to build up a few casual friendships just in case you are in need and your husband is nowhere around to help you. hugs from hatley.

Some people are a little paranoid, worrying that you may be thinking ill of them. I have had problems in the past with people who thought that I was stuck up or somehow conspiring against them because I was quiet. I eventually came up with responses for the comments made about me being so quiet. "I am taking this all in", "I'm just a little tired" and eventually evolved to something along the lines of trying to figure out an equation. Most people bore easily, and inquire no further.

Some people really do need the interaction with each other. when we don't talk to them they can take it as a personal attack against them. we may not mean anything by our silence, but it can be taken a different way and feelings are hurt in the process.

I am the same way! I tend to be very quiet and keep to myself. At my kid's after school activity, I sit in a small corner while I wait for my kids. I don't talk to anybody as I just happy looking at my kids doing their thing. Then I heard some parents talking about me. Calling me aloof and a snob because I don't mingle with them. Oh! gimme a break (is what I thought)!

I definitely agree with you and I can also relate. I'm usually quiet around people I don't know that well. Some people consider me a snob because of that. However, I'm very talkative when I'm with my very close friends. Even my relatives that I'm not really that close with thinks I'm being rude by being so quiet around them. There are really people like that. They tend to judge us by not even getting to know us well first. For me, that's fine because at least I can stay away from them as early as possible. I'd rather have a few true friends rather than so many judgmental friends.

I have been told that before myself. It hurt my feelings! I am actually a very friendly person. I am just a quiet person until I get to know people most times. I'm more out going now that I use to be. I was told once by someone that people thought I was stuck up and thought I was better than everyone else. I was totally taken aback by that!!!! I am neither one of those things. I was very shy, I do mean I was very shy at that time. If I got to know you some then I talked to you. But I was not much of a talker. In fact, the life and the way I had to live I was not allowed to talk much or I got into trouble so it was best to keep my mouth shut. I got in trouble even when I said no so it was best to just be quiet and not be seen or heard. This carried on to my adulthood into married. The abuse I mean. So I was still quiet. Then I left and started a new life for me. I started changing and I broke out of my shell a little at a time. I'm still quiet for the most part but I'm very friendly and I'll talk to just anyone. No matter where I am. lol I think if people would just stop judging others and take the time to get to know them before the say things about them they might learn something. They have no clue why a person is the way they are. Why they do the things they do. Some people can not just go up to someone and just start talking to them.... Some can... Some people talk, alot! Some don't and there are others that talk a little less but not so much..... everyone is different. no 10 people are the same.... I'm glad we are not all the same the world would be such a boring place if we were.

I understand what you mean, because I used to be very quiet, and people often misunderstood my silence. They thought that I was arrogant, weird or that I didnt like them. That wasn't true at all, I was just shy and introverted and I needed my own space. Today I have become more talktative, but I still remember the comments that I got in the past and how they hurt me. It is my experience that talkative people sometimes take things to personal. They sometimes forget that it isn't about them, it is about a different personality. They don't always understand that the quiet person isn't quiet, because he or she is arrogant or unfriendly, but simply because the person is different from them.

I totally agree with you. We are the same kind of person. I can be talkative to somebody like people that I am very close with like my sister, my mom, some of my friends... but generally I am very quiet, I only talk when people talk to me. My mother in law is a pain, if I don't talk to her, she thinks there is soemthing wrong then she will keep asking me queswtions about why not talking to her? Am I upset with her? This and that... it really irritates me. And since she made me cried once because of that, I hate her. I just don't want to see her, don't want to talk to her, she made it worse herself.

Do you talk to much with them? Cause there are people that might be getting the idea that you are upset if you change drastically. It's not up to you to go to talk to them all the time, maybe they should grow up.

Yes that could be true but sometimes we need to get out of our box to know people better, as well. I mean, if you see that people think you are that kind of person, i guess it would not be a less to your character if you will smile at them and make some conversation. We need to adjust sometimes to make other people feel better. :-)

I understand how you feel because I guess we share a similar personality. Especially at work, I'm usually quiet and just concentrate on my job. Like you, I value my privacy and personal space so much. I function best when I'm alone. Because of this, people also have the impression that I am snobbish or difficult to deal with. However, when they get to know me more, they realize that I also could be funny. As the cliche goes, we can't please everybody and it is not a must to change our personality just to satisfy their wants. Maybe at times, you could try hanging out or sharing a simple conversation with those people, so that they don't conclude that you are mean or anything.

Its simply because of individual differences. Understanding one's reactions and giving them the benefit of the doubt counts. Another is because its a natural reaction from someone who expects something. After all, its not you who's sinning anyway.

yeah i totally agree with you. some people really act like that.. dear because they want your special attention to them...every person do have their own personality, just bare with it. :) they want you to reach out to them ^^,

I am that way myself. In this day and age people are selfish, self serving and obnoxious. I don't associate with many of them either. I am not a real nice person when people acost me and want to chat. Nor am I sweet when they take my time when I would rather spend it elsewhere. If there is a film called Grumpy Old WOmen I am probably in it!

100%. That we are angry, irritated, stressed, tensed, foul mouthed and so and so forth is the result of our own production. We hardly realize that being mere agitated would not solve the issue or slapping the maid would rather aggravate the situation would invite more trouble. So the better way is to cool and sort out things one by one and this is true that all problems have their solution. The only thing is that we have to cultivate our patience.

I think that people easily judge other people upfront, without taking the time to know them. Socializing is starting to lose its meaning and be equalized with Facebook.

well, just stop thinking what others think of you. For as long as you are not doing anything bad,that's what is important. You will not be happy if you will think what others say. You will never please everybody anyway. So just chill! You are just being quiet, and its their problem if that is what they are thinking of you. The are judging you just because you are quiet. Now, THAT'S MEAN!

Usually, quiet persons have that first impression. Because they dont mingle. The tendency is, other may think that you are snob, hard to talk with, coz they see, you have your own world. But later on, they will know you more better. if you are in new work place, try to do the first move to fit in coz they will never introduce their selves to new comers. Try to smile often, its free. Though you never talk too much as they do, they will understand what you mean by smiling.

I totally agree with you, I'm a quiet person too. I like to being at home alone, listen to music, sing a song i like...do what i want u know.... I also hate who talkative, as my friends, they always talk about their boyfriend/girlfriend, shopping, fighting, blah, blah, blah....that's not what I want in friends, I want a real friend who understand me, who can sit down and listen to what I say. But there are very few people special like that...I often sit in class and listen to my teacher, my teacher thought that I'm a super dumb, some people thought that I dont know English, lol but then I got A A A on every subject...And u know what? My teacher dont thought I'm stupid anymore she think I'm mute lol...that's funny story I've ever encountered at school lol