When is old too old?

Canada
February 17, 2011 3:27pm CST
My dad and his twin brother are 85 yrs old, his other brother is 82, his sisters are 80 and 86. They all drive, two of them are still working. Dad is working at the Gold Club as a starter because he said he'll die if he stays home. He's also coaching the Oldtimers Hockey team once a week from 4PM till 1AM. He's also going with his team to Springfield, Mas once a year by bus for a weekend of hockey tournament. He says he wont go this year because he finds the ride too long. He will work again this summer. All of them spend most of their free times together having coffee at Tim Horton's or driving 2 hrs to fill up their respective cars in Ontario saying the gas is cheaper there. They sometimes go twice a day because they'll all get in one car, go fill up, come back, take someone else's car and go again. It doesnt matter if its raining, snowing or what. They still go!! Dad lives alone and I cook for him, do is cleaning and washing. He eats out at the restaurant quite a lot even though he has food in the freezer. He's nearly never home, always out with his many friends or siblings. I never asked him NOT to do anything, he's not senile so he should know better. So what so you think......when is old too old?? Do you believe the person knows best and we dont have to tell them what to do?
2 people like this
12 responses
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
Wow how lucky for your dad and his siblings to have reached that ages, yet they are still so mobile and not yet senile. Just let him do that , with his siblings. It's their way of bonding. Let him have the times of his life while he is still alive. All you can do is to give some little coaching though, when sometimes his roaming around gets too much.
2 people like this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
Coaching? haha, I can only take a number and hope he'll call me back when he gets home. I'll go home sometimes to do his washing and he'll leave me there alone while he's out with his family. Sometimes they ask me to join them. I dont mind, they make me laugh so much. They are happy and enjoy life. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160949)
• United States
17 Feb 11
My husband's mom gave her car away when she found herself going the wrong way down a one way street. My dad still drives and probably should not. Barring dementia I believe people will stop activities when they know that they are too taxing. My dad has given up some leadership positions in his church because of this. He should not have been driving when he was forty. Just too impulsive. It sounds as if you dad has a wonderful, healthy family, who love each other and are very supportive. He can stay home when he is too old to get out.
2 people like this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
Sounds like your husband's mom knew when it was time to stop. They say that usually women can see it coming but men dont want to. We're lucky that they seem to check each other and they wont drive if they have a bad cold or not feeling so well, thats when they call on the others to drive them around. Dad says that if he has to stay home, he'll die. Thats why he applied to work again this summer at the Gold Course. They keep hiring him and he has to use his mind as he's a starter and he hasnt made any mistakes as of yet.....probably why they keep hiring him. Im proud of them and we all pray that we'll be as healthy as they are at that age. Thanks for sharing!
1 person likes this
@ParaTed2k (22940)
• Sheboygan, Wisconsin
17 Feb 11
There is never "too old", but there is "unable to anymore"... until he (or anyone else) reaches "unable to anymore" what's the harm? Sounds like he's livin' and lovin' life to me!
2 people like this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
You're right, I thank God that he doesnt have to say "unable to anymore" I dont know what would happen when they'll reach that point in life. Lets hope none of them dont. He does love life to the fullest and the max!! Thanks!
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
17 Feb 11
i am in Ontario and like the fact that after 80, the drivers get tested every year. if your dad is ok with driving and is passing his tests, he is good to go. sounds like he likes to be busy. good for him!
2 people like this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
They do so in Quebec also. He did all the tests and he's also getting tested by his doctor. Thanks!
1 person likes this
@gloryacam (5540)
• Philippines
17 Feb 11
Wow! And I thought my dad, who's turning 60 this year, is old! I think that they've (your dad, uncles and aunts) earned their time to do anything they want. And, as long as they are able to and are up to it, they're never too old for anything. And, yes, as long as they're not endangering themselves. A bit too fragile at that age they are.
2 people like this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
I think you need to change your mind, 60 is definitely NOT old anymore haha. No they're not in any danger and none of them looks too fragile, so I let them do as they want. They're not senile, so they know exactly whats going on. Thanks!!
1 person likes this
@Loner01 (64)
• United States
17 Feb 11
Honestly, I am a true believer of the old time phrase: "age is only in ur head" I grew up hearing it. (that's probably because i had some older aged parents) So i believe that your never "too" old to do or be anything you wnt to b or do. In which case, no, let them live to the fullest by their own will. :) If you were to ask me, i would say that they probably don't have any idea at all that they are rlly that old in age. This is probably because as i said before: "age is only in ur head" :)
2 people like this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
I believe that too. And looking at them, you're right, they have NO idea they're that old haha!! They walk fast, they stand up straight, they laugh all the time. They also eat foods they shouldnt but hey, who cares, they made it so far, so why not let them enjoy the foods they like and live to the fullest as you say. Im all for it and I only hope I'll be like them at that age!! Thank you!
1 person likes this
@dainy1313 (2370)
• Leon, Mexico
17 Feb 11
MagicalBubbles, your dad and his brothers, are Amaizing!! I really mean it! I would like to have your family =(... however... it is terrific. And you are right... just let him tell us when is old too old! Blessings!... Dainy
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
Hiya Dainy, Im sure we could adopt you so you could join our family haha. I dont think they'll ever get to the point of saying they are too old. I can only hope I'll be that way too when I get there. Thank you!
1 person likes this
@savypat (20216)
• United States
18 Feb 11
I think we drive many of our mature people into early old age. Since I am a member of this group I resent it. I am never over 35 until I look in the mirror, which I tend to avoid. The knowledge that I have is hard won, but I am always looking forward to upgrades. So as long as folks can enjoy what they do and suffer no impairment which could cause them or others harm, MORE POWER TO THEM
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
I feel the same. Im no spring chicken myself and I like watching them together do their own thing and enjoy life to the fullest......you're right, MORE POWER TO THEM. Ive noticed lately that more and more companies are hiring retirees to work because they have experience and they are hard workers. Some younger ones are starting to resent it unfortunately, instead of learn from the older employees. Ive always worked with older people and Ive always went to them for advice and Ive learned a lot. Today, Im the one they come to.....ahhh I guess thats how life works, right? haha Thanks for sharing!
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
18 Feb 11
That's awesome. They must have such great time together spending their days with their siblings. Old is too old when the person says so. Yes, I believe the person knows best and we don't have to tell them what to do.
1 person likes this
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
20 Feb 11
I hope I can too!
• Canada
18 Feb 11
I think so too. When dad is not well, down with a cold, he'll stay home and I can tell he's not feeling well. He wont go out then or if he has to go out, he'll ask his brothers to come and get him. So they seem to have a solid head on their shoulders. Makes me wish I'll be like them when I get there!! Thank you!
@NoWayRo (1061)
• Romania
18 Feb 11
It all depends on the person, I guess. My grandfather is 92. He's not very active anymore, but he's not senile, either. I ask for his advice on my business accounting sheets, because he's been an accountant in his life, and he asks for my advice in a legal issue he has with some land. He deals with most of life's minor issues by himself - for instance, he goes and gets a haircut without me bugging him - but every now and then I insist on taking him for a medical checkup. He doesn't like doctors, so if I weren't pushing, he'd take medicines based on a 30 year old prescription. On the other hand, I'm very worried about my father. He's only 60, but he seems out of touch with reality in many aspects. Just this week, he left home every day to go to the tax office and pay a fee for something... and every day he returned home without paying it. Now it's Friday already, and I suppose I'll have to go pay it myself. Worse part with my father is that he spends a lot every time he leaves the house, he's like a child, whenever he sees something, he buys it. I'm really worried about how much worse this can go in time.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
Arent we the lucky one to be able to ask our older member of the family for advice and share their experience? Im so sorry about your dad but sounds to me like you need to go to the doctor with him and find out whats wrong. I dont know if he's always been this way or if its something that just started but sometimes medicine might be able to cure whatever is wrong with him. Good luck and thank you for sharing !!
@murkie (1103)
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
well if your old man says he wants to do this, then let him... most people feel inadequate and a burden if they are just sitting around, waiting for time to pass by. as long as he has the strength and not in the least harmful, then let him. if he's too weak to move, that that would be the time to tell him to stop.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
I let him do as he wants. No way I could stop him even if I wanted to because he's not senile. So legally I have no right. But he knows when he has to rest, I dont have to tell him. I let them have fun.....why stop them!! Thank you!
@falsey (11)
• United States
18 Feb 11
i think he should keep working.
1 person likes this
• Canada
18 Feb 11
I think so too. He said he'll die if he stops and stays home with nothing to do. So they keep hiring him because they say he does a great job as a starter at the Golf Course. I dont plan on stopping him because if I did, Id be killing him. Thanks!