Is It Child Abuse???

3 Year Old Suri Cruise Looking Grown Up In Her Hee - Is Suri too young to be dressing so mature???
@LadyMarissa (12148)
United States
February 17, 2011 9:08pm CST
http://justjared.buzznet.com/2009/09/21/suri-cruise-high-heels Tom Cruise & Katie Holmes are allowing their little 3 year old daughter, Suri, to wear heels. Doctors are saying that for a child that young, this will be REALLY BAD for her feet & legs. I know I was 13 before I was allowed to wear heels on a regular basis. Yes as a child I occasionally wore Mommy's heels, or at Halloween or Christmas I was given a pair of those clear, see-through acrylic heels that had elastic to hold them onto my feet. I was NOT allowed to wear them all day, shopping, to the store, or to church. They were simply for playing dress-up around my room for only a short length of time. I know in wearing heels over the last 48 years that my feet & legs have suffered!!! By the time I was 23 years old (only 10 years of wearing heels) I had to have a foot operation for damage to the nerve in my foot. This makes me wonder how long it will be before little Suri Cruise will be having foot & leg problems??? Since her little feet aren't fully developed & ready for heels, do you see this as a form of child abuse??? Now that Suri has raised the bar, what do you think about your 3 year old wearing heels???
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15 responses
@p1kef1sh (45681)
18 Feb 11
I don't know if it is abuse but it's certainly neglect. Why when you have the money that they have should you choose to dress your child as if she's 23 rather than 3? I recall that the Boss got an enormous amount of pleasure in dressing P1kelet when she was young. Nice little girl clothes (not all frills, satin and lace) that were comfy and smart. There is a fashion trend to age children these days. Then folk moan "they grow up so fast"! Go figure that one.
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
Oh P1key, we are soooo much on the SAME page!!! Children are allowed to dress up like sluttty adults & then the parents cry that their child is pregnant at 10. Well, if she had been dressed like a little girl at 8, there's a good chance that it wouldn't have happened. My cousin's little boy was expected to take care of himself from the time he could walk. They would come to visit & he would come through the door carrying his own suitcase. Then when time came to go to bed he'd say I don't have any pajamas & his Dad would say, "well you packed your own bag...why don't you have PJ's???"From 18 months old he packed his own suitcase & was responsible for getting his possessions from Point A to Point B. His Dad said it would teach him responsibility. Well, the child was so responsible that he was ready to leave home at 16 & Dad wasn't ready. Then Dad tried to jerk the rug out from under the child to keep him at home & needing Dad. Well, you don't get it BOTH ways. I believe you should let a child be a child & the parent should work at being a parent & teaching their child what they need to become a responsible adult!!!
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@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
Stine, I don't know if this a Scientology belief or not as I'm not a Scientologist!!! The problem is that this is expanding beyond Tom, Katie & Suri. Mothers are seeing Suri in her heels & buying them for their 3 year old. I agree with P1key, WHY would a Mother intentionally take her 3 year old & make her look 23??? There are a LOT of steps to becoming an adult between the age of 3 & 23!!! It is a parent's job to PROTECT their child NOT display them!!! Suri is a BEAUTIFUL child & I don't see that precious child in this pic!!!
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@p1kef1sh (45681)
18 Feb 11
Stine - I had to look that one up. You are right in that scientologists view children as unformed adults and that they are inherently good unless they learn differently. But allowing children to learn from their mistakes is one thing - setting them up for a fall (literally in Suri's case in her high heels) is another. Parents still have an obligation to nurture and cherish and how else will children learn if they are not set a good example by the adults closest to them?
@sweet_pea (3322)
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
I just really can't understand why do we make our children be like adults. Her wearing of high heels may stem from having to look up to her mom. Children likes to imitate what they see in us. So since her mother wears high heels, the child will see that it is okay for her to use one. I just really feel that we need to treat children as children. We don't have to rush them to be like grown-ups. Let them enjoy their childhood days.
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
I understand what you are saying!!! I saw my Mom wearing heels & I wanted to look like my Mom. Well thank God, my Mom had enough sense to realize that I was waaay toooo young to be wearing them just yet!!! I was 13 before I was even allowed to wear my first 1 inch high pumps, 15 when I graduated into heels. I feel we are letting our children become adults waaay toooo young & then we wonder why they are making stupid decisions. Children learn by example & if the parent is making irresponsible decisions for the child, the child will grow up NO smarter!!! It IS the parent's job to raise the child, NOT the child's job to raise the parent!!!!
1 person likes this
@sweet_pea (3322)
• Philippines
21 Feb 11
Totally agree dear! We really should be careful with what we do and say when we are around kids because they are such great imitators. What they see in adults are always right to them because they think adults know better since they are older. (Which we all know is not necessarily true.) It's the parents responsibility to regulate their kids. Let them understand that there are certain things adults do that children shouldn't be doing until they reach of age. In the case of wearing heals, the parent can say to her little girl that since she is still little, she deserves to have low heels. She may wear high heels when she is as tall as Mommy. You can explain it to them in the simplest way they can understand.
@BarBaraPrz (47308)
• St. Catharines, Ontario
18 Feb 11
Doesn't surprise me. Those people are nuts, anyway.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
I wasn't even shocked that Tom & Katie are doing this to their toddler. However I was horrified to hear that there are thousands of everyday mothers out there doing the same thing to their child!!! With their track record, I would expect Tom & Katie to NOT have enough common sense to see the damage they are doing. However, I do expect the average mother to have that common sense that kicks in thinking safety over adorable should be the way to take proper care of her child!!!!
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
18 Feb 11
Hi. LadyMarissa. I think that it is not safe for a three year old to wear heels. I have a three year old daughter, and I would not let her wear high heels at all. If this may cause damage down the line as she gets older, then I think that her parents should not let her wear high heeled. It may not be that high, but the fact that it is high heels can be a detriment to her feet.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
Somebody calling into the doctor last night commented that they were only 1 inch pumps. One inch is not that high for a grown woman's foot, but sounds right high for a tiny 3 year old's foot!!! I'm glad you are a conscientious Mother who knows how to tell her child NO when they could be in harm's way!!!!
• United States
18 Feb 11
It really is an unfortunate thing for this little girl that her parents went out of their way to get high heeled shoes made for her. I don't think it's right! Little girls for dress up wear should be wearing little patten leather Mary Janes...not high heels. And these shoes don't even FIT her properly. Looking at the pictures, they look like they're too big and just flopping on her feet. No wonder she can't keep up walking with the adult. Most kids (especially the ones that I know) would rather run around bare footed. You have to almost FIGHT them to make them wear shoes. lol I agree with you LadyMarissa that parents need to stop dressing their little girls up like grown girls. But, we have all these little girl beauty pagents to thank for that! Look at the type of pagents that little Jon Bennet Ramsey was entered in. Where did the CHILD go in all of her pictures? Parents need to be more aware of the fact that they have CHILDREN not short adults living in their homes. Children should be loved and taught right from wrong. Children should have parents that are RESPONSIBLE....responsible for their child's health and welfare and education. But, a lot of children these days don't have a whole lot going for them in being born to MATURE parents. Take for instance this situation, those crappy pants that men/boys wear now-a-days...you know the ones...they hang down below their butt cheeks and show off their underwear. I can't stand those pants! I want to walk up to them and grab the belt loops and put them where pants are SUPPOSED to sit and then thread a rope through the loops and tie it in a knot in the front to hold those darned things up. Well, there was a man that happened to be in line in front of me at the convienience store wearing that type of attire. His little boy...cute little dickens....about 2 or 3 years old came up to him from the candy isle. That baby couldn't even walk right for trying to hang on to those danged droopy britches. Just infuriates me!
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@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
I feel sorry for Suri Cruise; but I feel even sorrier for the other little girls whose parents think it is adorable & making their little girls wear them also. Tom & Katie can afford the BEST doctors for little Suri or they can afford to pay somebody to take care of her once she's crippled. The average person copying this can't afford either!!! OMG, don't even get me started on those freakin droopy drawers that dayum near fall off. I was in line behind a young boy whose pants hung below the fly of his underwear. I held my breath that his girlfriend didn't get him all excited & feared that I was about to get a show that I wouldn't even be willing to buy a ticket for...shameful!!!! Then I hear parents saying...I can't to a thing with them!!! They can't do anything with them simply because they don't try!!!!
• United States
19 Feb 11
Yes, the little girls that are growing up mimicking something that a movie star is doing to their own child, are going to be having problems with their feet and legs. I hope that their parents wake up and realize this before it's too late and they cause their daughters pain issues later in life. I was raised the old fashioned way. Got a spanking when I needed it, which I didn't get that many spankings growing up, the first one put the fear of God into me and I didn't want anymore spankings. But people have gotten really lax in raising their kids. A lot of people don't make their kids mind as small children, so how do they expect their kids to be as teenagers...young adults? My great grandmother always said the way to a kid's brain was through his butt....lol. That if you don't have that child's attention before he/she starts school, then you've lost that child. It's truly sad to see the youth now. They are vulgar and disrepectful and make you just not want to spend any time around them. And it all reverts back to how they were raised.
• United States
18 Feb 11
I wouldn't say it's child abuse, but definitely not the smartest thing a parent can do. My daughter is 6 and she has been begging for a pair of heels for 2 years. She said the other girls at school are wearing these shoes and she's the ONLY one that doesn't have them. I'm not being ugly toward my daughter, but little girls can be a klutz. She doesn't understand that running on the playground and climbing on the monkey bars and just doing what little kids do is not okay with heels on. I will not allow my 6 year old child to walk around wearing the attire of a grown woman. I don't think the message is good for little girls aside from the physical developmental risks.
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
You are a GOOD Mother!!! A good Mother knows WHEN the best thing to say is NO!!! I don't know how many times in my life I heard "If everybody else jumps off a bridge...do you plan on jumping in behind them???" I always promised myself that I'd NEVER use those words. Guess what I found myself saying to my step-daughter when she wanted to do something crazy!!! I very strongly believe we are giving our daughters the WRONG message when we allow tthem to dress up like little sllutts & then punish them for responding accordingly. If parents give a straight YES for the appropriate things & a strong NO for the inappropriate things, I believe our children would grow up to be stronger people!!!
@anne25penn (3305)
• Philippines
18 Feb 11
It is still up to the parents who allow their children to wear high heeled shoes at a young age. I am not surprised because here in my country I see a lot of girls wearing high heeled sandals and shoes. These shoes are originally designed for grown ups, but some one thought that they could market these to young girls and they were right because it has become a trend already. I can't really say that it's child abuse, its more of responsible parenting.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
In my mind, irresponsible parenting is the SAME thing as child abuse!!! Not far from where I live, a mother had her 6 children taken away from her because she locked their bedroom door every night. She claimed several of the children would slip out at night & might get killed. She was protecting her children & yet she was charged with child abuse. A mother who knowingly lets her child wear heels that will cripple the child is just as abusive if not more so than the mother who locked her children in their room to protect them!!! You didn't say how old the children at a young age are there, but I bet they are older than 3!!!
• United States
18 Feb 11
I agree this is poor, irresponsible parenting but I would probably draw the line at calling it child abuse. But, who is the irresponsible shoe designer/manufacturer making a high heel shoe that small? Obviously the Cruises have enough money to have whatever they want custom made, and, like Michael Jackson and all his surgeries, when money is involved there is always someone who will give you what you want, after the responsible people with common sense turn you down.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
In knowing what I was thinking, I apparently didn't make my thoughts clear. Tom & Katie paid somebody to make heels specifically for little Suri. Now comes the problem...thousands of mothers are clamoring to buy heels for their little 3 year old so not to be outdone by Suri. If the mothers are willing to buy the shoes, some greedy corporation will be willing to make them. The ONLY way to stop this is for Mothers to STOP buying them for their little girls!!! And apparently there are plenty of mothers who are MORE concerned on how their child looks over the safety & well being of their child!!!
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
18 Feb 11
I think that Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise are wrong for allowing their three year old daughter to wear high heeled shoes. Suri Cruise will be having leg and foot problems when she is older. Her feet are growing and are not yet fully developed. I think that a 7 or 8 year old girl could wear high heeled shoes at a party but not for use them for every day regular use. `
1 person likes this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
My concern is NOT for Suri Cruise!!! My concern is for the thousands of 3 year old girls whose Mother has decided it is adorable & doing the same thing to their child!!! If the parent isn't responsible enough to know this is bad for their child, what else are they missing???
@shaggin (72131)
• United States
18 Feb 11
I dont think its child abuse at all but I do think that its stupidity on their part as a part to allow their child to walk around in high heels. It is bad for their feet. I see kids in my daughters school who wear shoes like this and although it looks adorable its not good for them. I worry even about them twisting their ankles due to wearing them. I dont allow my daughter to wear heels and she is 6.
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@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
THANK GOD...a responsible Mother!!! Yes, it might look adorable, but you are responsible enough to know it isn't good for them!!! The doctor responding to this said he is seeing an alarming trend in Mothers wanting to have the adorable child instead of being responsible enough to know it isn't good for them!!! I'm just dreading to see the generation of crippled young ladies that will be showing up within the next 20 years or so!!!!
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
19 Feb 11
pretty stupid of Katie Holmes to let her child wear heels. For one, Katie must know that it is tiring and at times painful to use heels. so it is her call to let her child or not let her child wear one.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
19 Feb 11
At best it is BAD parenting!!! I'm worried more about all the little 3 year old girls out there whose stupid mothers thinks it is cute & is carrying on the trend!!! Why would a mother even think of doing something to their child that could cripple them for the rest of their life???
• Australia
18 Feb 11
its not child abbuse....if she wnats to wear them then let her...child abbuse is for more when someone does not look after there children well and hurts them etc
@p1kef1sh (45681)
18 Feb 11
That is LadyM's point. Children's feet are still developing at age 3. Intentionally putting them into high heels is damaging to both muscle and bone configuration hence her question. At that age children need parental guidance not an irresponsible fashion statement.
2 people like this
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
THANK YOU P1key...you soooo get what I was saying!!! I feel sorry for your children bl!!! Now please explain to me how you're looking after your child's well being by allowing them to do as they please??? That's like letting the inmate take over the asylum It seems to be common sense to me & the experts agree that your child WILL be hurt by wearing heels at 3 years old. So, letting your child begin wearing heels at 3 years old means you're NOT looking after them & you ARE allowing them to be hurt; which in your own words, is the definition of child abuse. NO child likes to be told they can't do something. However, I consider it LAZY parenting when the parent lets the child determine what is best for themselves. At 3 years old, they just do NOT have enough information to make a valid judgment call!!! The biggest problem a 3 year old deals with is if they will get the lollipop in grape or cherry flavor. At 3 years old, you should be teaching them HOW to make good choices for themselves, NOT letting them tell you what they will accept. I still think that allowing your child to make an irresponsible fashion statement is tantamount to child abuse!!!
1 person likes this
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
18 Feb 11
No child should ever wear heels in this early age, this is a huge mistake. A child's feet are forming a long time and there are many rules a parent should follow in order to avoid later distortions on the kid's feet. As a mother I'm shocked by the photo. It's one thing to be a celebrity trying to look even more shocking and interesting than you already are, but it's completely different thing to do it by risking your daughter's entire physiological future just because you you like wearing heels. There's a plenty of time to do it but this is not the moment. And there are lots of other safe ways to make your child look pretty. Putting her legs and feet on high heels is definitely NOT one of them.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
I agree that this is really BAD for the child. Sadly, it is NOT just the celebrities doing this as it is now becoming a fad among the common folk!!! This doctor said he was seeing a rash of average little 3 year olds who are already having problems from wearing these heels. So, even if they aren't wearing them all the time, the damage is occurring!!! You sound to be a responsible Mother who has MORE sense than to let her daughter wear heels at 3 years old!!!!
@iva75cpb (729)
• Bulgaria
18 Feb 11
Thank you for these words. I really am a responsible mother and I am very careful when it comes to my daughter's health. Everything else done wrong can be fixed at one point, even education and moral values I try to teach her, but when it comes to health I make no compromises even when my decisions may hurt her feelings. One of the examples is exactly her wish to wear my high heels boots, put some of my make-up on her face... She's not allowed to do it not only because she's only 4. Why I forbid her those shoes I've already explained. And the make-ups - they are specifically designed for adults because of their chemical ingredients which a child's body still can't fight. No matter how much she cries and asks, she's not allowed. I only allow her the so called child's make-up - the tasty lip-polishes which are for softening kids' lips in the winter and taste like fruits.
@Ichiru101 (284)
• United States
18 Feb 11
I do not think it is child abuse. Because she is making her own choice here. But I do think it is the parent resposiblity to stop her since she is still really young, and may not be able to make correct choices yet.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
A 3 year old is NOT old enough to make her own choice!!! Parents are supposed to PROTECT their children from harm...even if it is from them harming themselves!!!
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
18 Feb 11
Those don't look very high but she should not be wearing anything like that! Why won't people realize that children are not miniature adults?! Was that just one day or do they allow that every day? You are right, little bones can be distorted by wearing heels and adult bones, too. Heels should be outlawed as detrimental to our health!!! I doubt that the little girl wears them every day. It's just fodder for the gossip rags that are read by people with no life of their own. If she does wear them daily then someone needs to smack those two parents and teach them some common sense.
@LadyMarissa (12148)
• United States
18 Feb 11
I'm NOT picking on Tom, Katie & Suri & I didn't see this in one of the tabloids. I was out last night running several errands & I was listening to the radio where a doctor who also was not commenting on Suri was making a comment to the dangers of 3 year old girls wearing heels & the damage it does to their little feet. I'm thinking "where the hell did the Mother get that idea from" when he said he had seen an alarming trend forming since 3 year old Suri Cruise began wearing heels. It seems that the parents like the idea & have gone out & bought their 3 year old heels so they can look like Suri. My question is WHY would a responsible parent even think of putting heels on a 3 year old??? We teach them t not touch the heater or they might get burned. We teach then to not run with scissors as they might fall & stab themselves. Then we put them in heels where they might grow up crippled. I just do NOT see the logic!!!! We ALL fear the neighbor who might be a pedophile, yet we dress up our daughters like little ho's & parade her in front of him. I still don't see the logic!!! I doubt that many 3 year old girls are demanding to wear heels. It's the parents wanting their little girl to look adorable that causes the problem!!! I know you were a responsible parent of 2 boys. For that reason, I just don't see you allowing your 3 year old daughter to wear heels!!!!