Confused and Sad

..Hi there, Marriage is something that people have to work at every day. It can get boring, it can be exciting sometimes, but my thinking is that it has to be stroked and cultivated like taking care of a plant that you want to grow. You have been together for a long time, you are to be commended for that. People walk away from marriages all the time without a second thought. So there must be love there between you that makes you keep trying. I feel you need some kind of rejuvenation. If you can, you need to take a short vacation and rediscover each other and find the reason you both wanted to be together when you married. Even if the vacation is in the next town, you need a change. It also sounds like your husband is getting depressed over his job, he needs a change more than likely from that if he can change it. He sounds like he is void of feelings from being depressed over his daily work. Sometimes you don't know that you are depressed. In addition, if you can't take a mini vacation, the two of you need to have a long talk and express yourselves without anger, do it on neutral ground, away from the house, over coffee or something. Say what you are feeling, he will never know unless you speak up. Let him know you love him but you must discuss the situation. Your marriage is worth saving but you will get hostile if you continue as you are going and you will throw up your hands and end it all. I hope this helps in some way. Take care and very good luck.

For me not but what happened now to your mind be prayed to Jehovah God the maker to the time of confused and sad thing in your life.

Yes! I feel like you sometimes, and I also see my husband just like yours, sometimes. We commonly say here "you don´t know what you have, until it´s gone!"... so I try never reach that point. I try to size my husband, and consider as you do, how much I love him, and how much he loves me, and how much he loves our family. I just thank God, and continue working for my family, quietly, at home... just to show him how much I love him too =) ... Blessings!... Dainy

I understand exactly what you are feeling. My husband and I are together 8 years now and been married for 7 years. There are times when I think I cannot go on marrying him. But I cannot imagine my life without him either. I don't know what I would do without him. Try to do some nice things for him every now and then. I know it is very easy to take people for granted, especially people who loves you. Try to show him your appreciation, even if it is little things. The most important thing is that he should know you love him.

Hi, me and my husband are expecting our 11th anniversary. Yes, we've been through waves, hard rain and thunder already, and yet we've manage to beat them all, I hope so in the future. I think you're a strong woman, I know you can gave him the strength, only you can cherish him up and make him smile. If you believe you can do that, then you'll be. I hope for the best of you, good luck.

Me and my husband are now 6 years together, we had 2 kids a boy and a girl. We always fight each other and several times we tried to separate. He hurts me physically and emotionally but I cant lived without Him. I loved Him very much.

Hi. jah. I am very sorry to hear that you are going through sadness with your husband. Maybe you should have a heart to heart talk with him. This is very serious. I hope that, he can explain to you why he is feeling this way. I hope that he can be honest with you. I don't like being placed on the back burner at all in my marriage. I hope that he can talk to you so that you can have some ease as to where your marriage is headed. Take care.

first of all congrats on your almost nine years of marriage :) secind of all, yes i also feel this way sometimes. it is difficult being married to someone (in general) but it is even more difficult when you are even a little insecure. you start to do things that don't always make sense and are sometimes overemotional (at least in your husband's opinion). sometimes i feel like i made a mistake too because there were so many family members and friends that didn't think i should have even dated my husband (let alone MARRY him). but i have to remind myself that it is not about what others think about our relationship. it is about how we feel about each other

Being a wife is not easy especially when we have a lot of things going on in our mind. Like you I am also a wife and my relationship with my husband is constantly being tested which gives me a lot of doubts about him. It made me feel betrayed, disrespected and hurt so badly. But, we are still together despite of the walls that seems building up between us. The thing is, do not be so negative. It will creep into your heads and your very souls that the next thing you will notice is that it is already eating you up and your relationship. Trust your husband when he says he loves you and that he is happy being with you. Remember that he is human and may also feel frustrated and all sorts of negative stuff but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you or he is not happy with you. Be glad that despite of you husband's frustrations he is keeping his will to survive and keep the relationship going. Some men/husband would not care that much if they get frustrated. They would readily jump into another woman's bed. Just stand beside your man. Let him know that you are with him and that he got your whole support. don't think of something that doesn't exist. He is still with you so that not punish yourself by thinking what if he's out of your life. Girl, do not crowd yourself by contemplating on something that isn't there yet. Think of it when you hit that side of the road, ok? In the meantime, show all the best love you can give to your hubby and kids. Enjoy being his wife and mother to his kids. When he is down, he needs you to be strong for him. That's why we are their better halves. Give him a push and a nudge.

I believe we all go through this at times. I also could never understand why we take our frustrations out on the people we love. The only thing I ever come up with is that we know they will always be there for us. I know my life isn't always the way I wish it were. Sometimes I on idle, day to day. The good thing I get out of your sadness and confusion is YOU LOVE YOUR HUSBAND AND CHILDREN this is the thing that keeps you together.

great you love your husband truly and like him very much anyway it is good and nice to know your story

You know what is so great about feeling confused? Cunfusion is the beginning of a new learning because everything you learned you had to be confused first about it to be able to learn it. The thing is that it is when you allow yourself to feel curiosity that that curiosity will transform your confusion into learning. I have felt something somehow similar, even if I have not been with my girlfriend as long as you. If I imagine her having and accident or losing her somehow, that makes me very sad. Now, here is what you are going to do: ask yourself if you made the right choice being with him and then think what it will be like when you spend all of your life together (imagine growing old together) and tell me how does that feel. You will see that you feel much better and that will heal your heart. Greeting from Mexico!