My Mother is in Love with a younger man. Now what?
By onlydia
@onlydia (2808)
United States
February 19, 2011 7:54pm CST
My mother is in Love dwitha younger man and won't admit to it. It is crazy she goes where he wants and does everything for him. He is younger then me and we fight alot about things but that is because he wants to be right all the time and try's to tell me what do to. My Mom won't admit that they have a thing going. She will say no he is trying to get a girlfriend. Well, Hello he is never going to get one with her living in his house taking care of his mother and his house and paying his bills for him as he is a trucker. I love her and if they are fine. How do I get her to admit to it? She is 70 and he is 48 or 49 something like that. It seems like I have a daughter that is hiding a boyfriend from a Mom. Which is something I never did. Any Idea's??
3 people like this
14 responses
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
20 Feb 11
Hi Onlydia,
Maybe she is telling you the truth. I can imagine myself in that situation. My daughter had a friend when she was 16 and he would come to the house quite often. Many times he would be out in the kitchen talking to me. I did like the kid but certainly I didn't "love" him. I thought he was a cool kid...key word...KID. It's quite possibly that your mom looks at this guy like she would a son. If there is more to it then I'm sure you'll find out when she is ready to tell you. In the meantime, let it go. If your 70 yr old mom landed herself a 49 yr old guy then all I got to say is "good for her". 
2 people like this
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
20 Feb 11
Ok that is just it. I'm happy for her and I stuck up for her and I'm the only one to go up to see her and my son. But They went on a curise ship and she shared a cabin with him. Not any of the other woman on the curise and there was a extra bed in one of the rooms as she invited me to go at the last min. as somebody backed out. Well, I had to work. Now you go Mom is what I will say. But if they preach to my son or me again about being married first are they kidding. My Mom has to be getting the cookies as well. If not somebody is not to bright and I'm not sure whom. LOL but yeah go Mom. But when I ask don't lie. And don't preach. As what would there Pastor say my my. Maybe that is why they don't tell anyone.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
20 Feb 11
Ok , I really don't get why your mom would lie to you. I am 54 and have gone with younger guys but not that much younger but even if I did, I would not lie to my daughters about it. your mom must look and act young for her age. She should be proud. As for you listening to him telling you what to do etc...I agree. You should not have to listen to him .
1 person likes this
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
20 Feb 11
Let momma be. Let momma do as she wishes. Doesn't she deserve to be happy. If caring for his mother, cleaning up his house, and paying his bills makes her happy, why should you get involved. She is 70 God bless her. And if she can still get a little loving in her life well more power to her. She probably doesn't admit it because she knows how you will react. Assure her that its ok with you and she will most likely open up. If my mom were alive now she would be almost 70. Tell you the truth, I would try to find her someone even if younger if I had an idea that she wanted someone. Mom deserves happiness in her twilight years. Also, doing for others gives meaning to many senior's lives.
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
20 Feb 11
I told her that year's ago and I told her if she was happy than fine. The only time I got upset is when he called my Mothers place his. And now it is her's but my Father build the place and for him to walk in and start telling her or us what to do with her place Not. But Yes I told her if your happy then just admit to it. I mean really rock on with your bad self. 
. I still go up to her place and stay at her place not his. His house is to cold. It is like 65 in there. even in the summer. I have sat and talked to her but nothing. He goes on these dates of sorts. Yeah not. I feel like the Mom with a teenage daughter. to funny. You have a wonderful night and thank you.
Oh my I don't think I have laughed that hard in about a month or more. I love it. Your great. Thank you.
@onlydia (2808)
• United States
20 Feb 11
My sister doesn't care as long as my Mom is happy but like me we would like her to ne honest about it. No he is not abuseive at all. My Mother mite be 70 but she would still win a fight with him. LOL she had 6 brothers and 3 sisters. So yeah she can take care of herself even at 70. I think she is enjoying playing cat and mouse. Thank you.
1 person likes this
@LTL143 (57)
• Philippines
20 Feb 11
I know a situation like that. my aunt and his boyfriend. my aunt is almost 60 an d his boyfriend is only 27, younger than her son that why they argue about this matter. We may think sometimes that maybe the guy after for something. but we could't judge them coz we also dont know what they really feel for each other.
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@GardenGerty (160663)
• United States
21 Feb 11
If he has his own place, she should make sure that you and your sister have the land that was your father's. My dad's wife is ten or eleven years older than he is, and we all get along. He lives in her house, and I am certain that if something happens to her her possessions will go to her daughters. He may not outlive her though, they are both getting frail.
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@onlydia (2808)
• United States
20 Feb 11
I have told my Mom that it is fine if they are. But don't give him your land. And her house I'm going to move into I hope soon. And she wants that as she wants me closer to her. My thing is be honest about it. If it is real then go with it. My brother in-law was married to someone my Mom's age and God rest her she past on. But he was happy and so was she. So yeah I'm fine with it.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (160663)
• United States
21 Feb 11
Hmmmmmm.It sounds as if he likes having her look after him, but maybe is meeting others on the side. She may look at him as a son. It is to his advantage to have your mom help look after his mom, or be a companion to his mom as they must be somewhat the same age. If you are worried about her spiritually, be assured that that is for God to worry about. I do not fault you for being concerned. She is an adult and she knows what her motivation is. It may just make her feel needed.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
20 Feb 11
I really wouldn't worry unless wedding bells start ringing. Then I would worry as he might be after someone to take care of him...or someone he can use and take for money. The age difference will catch up to them...believe me! I know as a friend of mine has been married to someone for over 20 years...he is 19 years older...and suddenly he is getting old!
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31634)
• United States
20 Feb 11
Leave her alone! It doesn't matter if she admits to it or not, it's her life and you should butt out. The only time you should interfere is if you feel she's being taken advantage of financially.
Maybe she doesn't want to admit it because of the stigma still attached to older women and younger men. Let her enjoy it in peace.
1 person likes this
@maidangela7349 (1191)
•
20 Feb 11
I would suggest that you try and mind your own business which does not include interfering with her life until she becomes senile or otherwise incapable.
1 person likes this
@yoyo1198 (3641)
• United States
20 Feb 11
Good for your mom. But I can't see how you think she's in love with the man. Short of her telling you outright, you really don't know. Perhaps she feels like it is none of your concern, you think? And why do you think it should be of concern to you? It's her life after all.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
21 Feb 11
The thing is, that no matter the fact that you are bothered by this situation, your mother is an adult and there is really nothing that you can do about it. My mother's first boyfriend after my father passed away was a man that was much younger than her and it really did bother me. However, as much as I tried to show her how much it bothered me there was really nothing that I could do to change the relationship because of the fact that she was in love with the man at the time.
1 person likes this
@adnileb (5276)
• Philippines
20 Feb 11
If they really feel love, there's nothing wrong. You should talk to your mom, telling it's ok with you if she's in love with that man (as long as the man is a good man) and she should admit it because you both are too old for secrets. And falling in love should be shared between a mother-daughter relationship. You tell her that you've been honest with her in everything and how come she is not being honest with you. In this case, your mom might have some double thoughts and will finally admit it to you. Hope so.
have a nice day!
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@Desiree1203 (75)
• China
21 Feb 11
wow~~~~~~~~~~~dont know what to say. but believe me, ur mom knows what she is doing.
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