recalling the past...
By ryoko88
@ryoko88 (95)
Philippines
February 21, 2011 6:39am CST
Its been almost 5 years since we broke up, me and my ex but its just that there are times that memories passes on my mind I can still recall the happy times, but I don't miss him anymore (consciously) but its happening quite often these past few days, especially when my mom told me that his mother died from a heart attack I was slight affected, I did not went with the burial, he now has a wife and a child...
does these stuffs happen to you?what can you say?
11 responses
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
21 Feb 11
Well I think your already doing what you need to do. Leave it alone. Many of us reflect on our past relationships. We take the positive and leave the negative behind and by doing this, we enhance future relationships. If he has moved on, its time for you to do it too. 5 years is so long and your so young. Get on with life and don't waste it on thinking about the past.
@ptower76 (1616)
• United States
21 Feb 11
Well, could it be that you kind of miss a relationship not your ex, but just being with someone. When i first broke up with my daughter's mother after so many years, I had a long space without a relationship. I use to think alot about my past relationship with her and how it would be nice to rekindle. But I realized that it was not her per se, but just being in a relationship that i missed. It helped me to move on.
@ryoko88 (95)
• Philippines
21 Feb 11
oh my gosh, (I got teary eyed suddenly)
I've been a lot of heartache when I was younger, he was my 2nd boyfriend that really showed me love, care, respect and appreciation... tsk too bad we did not work out but really I have admitted everything about the past, maybe it is the relationship and being with someone, like him perhaps? your the first person who gave me this idea...
@ryoko88 (95)
• Philippines
21 Feb 11
Well I really hope, I would not be able to recall him anymore, I used to live in the past and I don't know why I kept having that feeling, though I am happy now... and I don't miss the old days, do you have any opinions on why it keeps happening to me? though in my other exs' I don't recall that much... it bothers me, and I want to leave that habit of being with the past.. tsk tsk tsk...help!
@ada8may21 (2405)
• Philippines
21 Feb 11
Sad to know about what had happened. Maybe that is why you are feeling right now, because of the loss. You can give last respect I guess if you are going there together with your mom. I has not occurred to me yet, has not thought of my ex bf and not even got any news from them. I really dont care.
@ada8may21 (2405)
• Philippines
21 Feb 11
Since you are neighbor that is ok to give last respect. But if you opted not to go, then that is ok. At least you include her in your prayers.
@housechaos7 (609)
•
21 Feb 11
I had many similar feelings and issues after my ex hubby of 11 years and i parted it took a good 5-6 years for his life not to have a impact on me its very hard and as time goes on it will improve,
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
22 Feb 11
ya sometime i do recall back the intimate times i have with my ex girlfriends and imagaine what will happen if things were to continue and such.Will it be better or worst and such.However as time progress those memories become more weak sometime fill with more hatred then good however sometime it mellows down and there are feelings of lost opportunities.
@ryoko88 (95)
• Philippines
2 Mar 11
That happens to me too, but right now i forget most of the memories..the only good ones are retained, then sometimes I can still imagine the way we travel with his motorcycle while I sing him a song "runaway" by the corrs...it makes me kinda go back to that time its quite cute though....but its past anyways
@toniganzon (72533)
• Philippines
22 Feb 11
Yes it does and sometimes i even dreamed of my ex-boyfriend. There's no lingering feeling but then what we shared in the past was something special too, so he always has a special space in my heart. In fact when i hear news about him now and then, i still have that interest. Sometimes i even wonder what would life be if i married him. We both have our own family and i heard that he moved to Europe already.
@staria (2780)
• Philippines
22 Feb 11
I think because we are still unconsciously care for them, though there's no romantic feeling anymore, because this person actually became a part of your life, you still get affected and think about him. Memories are hard to erase, in fact you need not to erase them. It's not bad to cling into the happy memories but do let go of the bad.
@lucy67 (819)
• China
21 Feb 11
i can understand your feeling. people always find it hard to control their feelings though they tell themselves to act sensibly. since now he has a wife and a child, recalling the past happy time will only make you suffer. try to begin your new life. though it's hard to forget the past.
@chelseaalawn (717)
• Hong Kong
21 Feb 11
I think you should learn how to let it go. Try to get something to do. Something that you love and enjoy. For me, I think I will try to get in a relationship when I am ready. And try to forget him.
I hope you can get over it:)
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
21 Feb 11
Things like these need closure. If something bothers you, you need to make it clear to yourself that it's over and that the emotional impact won't do you anything good. That way you won't be bothered by it that much even if you think about it.
@lexirose7350 (459)
• Philippines
22 Feb 11
It happens to a lot of people including me. Although it's past, you can't help but reminisce the old days especially the happy ones.When i see couples together joking and laughing around it always brings back memories...just keep the good memories and discard the bad ones.... :)
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
21 Feb 11
Yes actually i broke up with my boyfriend 5years ago too. he sometimes crosses my mind and i see him sometimes in my dreams too. I have moved on but sometimes it feels, i don't know how to explain the feeling lol. But he does have a girlfriend now and i'm eying someone too..
