A Dying Friend and a Promise You Cannot Keep Up To.... a Regret for Life?

I have never in the situation like what you have experience before. I think it will be really hard to say yes if you know that in reality you are actually not able to do that. But if someone is dyeing, if by saying yes to him and that can help to make him feel better, I believe you have already done a good things by saying yes to him. Sometime, a word can give a person energy when they know that someone are supporting them and that make them have the urge to live. I believe if he cannot make it and you lost him, even though you have said yes to help him to take care of his family but in reality you actually cannot really do it, I believe he will not blame you for that because he definitely know about that.

Hi sid... Thats good that he is okay now.. But such situation is quite awkward.. I guess YES is the only answer most of all will give. He is okay so no worries for you but if something like that would happened with any one then the only option left will be help friend's family as per our condition.

it is hard to say yes specially when you are in a situation that you know you can not help financially. but you can always help morally and in prayers. you saying yes proves that you are a good friend and this proves also that in time of crisis he can really rely on you. you make him more aware that he can go in peace. but i hope he still can survive... it would be so painful for her daughter to lose a father at that age. lets us pray for his survival.

Hi sids. at first i ahve all the wishes for his quick recovery. I have already faced several incident like this one so... i never lose my restrain and be adamant. Okay, its not a sin to say "yes" to your friend as he seeks it from you because he is not to say me this. He has all the trust to you and he better knows your condition, yet, he said. Reason... he knows... no one will take care unless you or someone can take the advantage of his absence. Everything is determined my friend. take it easy.

Hi thesids you done a good job. you said yes on that time was save his life. You see nobody didn't say no on that situation. Because everybody is same like you. Really you are good. Nothing is happen is your goodness. In that situation the moral support is better for them. But i think the financial support is more than that. That is most important to their life isit? am i correct know?

Hi Sid, We all think it is we who are in control of our destiny.Those who are enjoying success look at the unsuccessful people and develop a superiority complex and those who are very successful shut out the rest of the world from their lives. The unsuccessful lot become more and more miserable and they too cut out the rest of the world from their lives as they suffer from inferiority complex. It is so much simpler to hand over your life to God/Nature?Unknown entity and focus our attention on the activities that we are doing. That way we will have nothing to think about. No thoughts and full of productive actions. We are all the time worrying about what might go wrong which impedes our natural instincts.Fear about the future and guilt about the past is how we choose to live.The simplest thing to do is to take charge of now and act.But then simple things are not the easiest things to do in life.Like they say 'Keep it simple one day at a time'. Your unexpected situation where you felt vulnerable is a wake up call. so wake up and live your life one hour at a time. Your friend's condition was never in your control and never will be, so why feel bad? These are lessons we keep learning and keep forgetting.The married couples are inter dependent and thing to be to be concerned about is whether your actions are productive or not.Keep improving your actions till you reach optimum productivity. successful results, prosperity and wealth will simply follow. In other words rename the two enemies past as guilt and future as worry and stay clear of them. It will help you stay focused on the present. One synonym for present is gift , so why waste it on two known enemies. Love yourself and you will start to love others. Passion will become compassion and that is just the beginning of bliss in life.

Hi Sid Do not beat yourself up about this as you did the right thing, I would have done the same What People mean by this is that they want you to not forget their Family, to keep in touch and stay close to them To not turn away from them once the Person has gone that is what is mainly meant when a Person that thinks they are dying when they say, please look after my Family so you did the right thing Sid and good on you You are a good Friend Hugs

yes, such situations do come in our lives and we are at crossroads as to which way we should take. On one hand, we should try and console a dying persona as best as we can, on the other hand, we know that everything we promise, is just not possible. Even if you are not dependent on your wife’s income, it is but impossible for an outsider to care for an entire family day in day out. Money and job are not the only factor…running a family for years involves a lot more as we all know. Yet, like you, I too would have said Yes, as that would have been the most humane and prudent thing to do.

First off, it was wrong for your friend to ask that of you. Given that aspect of things it was right to agree but in no way could you be expected to keep that promise. If the man himself was not able to put by for his family then it should not be up to someone else to do it. Now that your friend is well again you should discuss this matter with him. Ask him how he expected you to become responsible for 3 generations of his family? Suggest he might buy an insurance on himself in case something like this happens in the future. You need to consider too that even though the situation was dire, sometimes people tend to behave in an overly dramatic fashion, especially in your culture. I wouldn't place too much importance on these matters.

Hi Sid, I am glad that he is still alive and you can keep your promise i ever promised my grand mother and my mother, but i am sorry i can tell you here what the promises was. and God took them away before i can make my promise to them. it is pain every time i remember that i can't make it. and yes it makes me regret till now, all i can say that i only have a plan and God decided.

hello dear, First,i want to say "salute" to you When we are facing such situation,we never think twice to say YES,that's what friends are for. I lost 2 good friends on 2 succeeding year,and it hurts to think that they're both too young to rest,with young kids and loved ones behind. Thu, those friends of mine never asked me to promise anything (since both are financial stable) still,there are times that i check on each families situation,health and kids education. It's like,we are obliged when we are not even asked to do so. It's an instinct i believed. If i was in your shoe by that time,i would never have any second though of saying YES either. Let the consequences takes place after. Good thing is,you were able to help your friend in times like this. You're really a good friend,a one in a few.

Sometimes in these situations it is not financial that they are talking about but the little.....I don't think a sin was committed because even though financial is not what you could have given them I know if they needed or help in other ways you would be there for them..... I would have handled it the same way..... Friendship is important and if you have it KEEP IT!

I think you did the right thing saying "Yes" to your friend. Not just because this would be a kind of consolation to him or you, but also because you never know how you'd have handled things should he had gone. Human nature is a very mysterious thing to deal with. Despite your own difficult life situation you can never know how things will turn around, if the worst had happened. Humans tend to always find their way even in the most tough and difficult situations and sometimes we don't even know where that strength came from. There's an old saying in my country - "The woe teaches us." And I think it best explains how we find strength to get out of difficult situations. That's why I think you did right. Simply because you can't be sure you won't manage. You couldn't say "No". And from what I read, I figure you're a good person. Good luck to you and best recovery to your friend!

On one hand, don't blame yourself man, in a situation like that you can't get your mind right enough. Anyone would have said yes. Just keep up to your promisse as well as you can do. If you just give it up and do nothing, then you abbandoned him. If you do your best in anyway you can, in your conditions, then you will have kept your promise

Oh thesids! The moment I saw your discussion topic I got so scared whether something had happened to your friend[I remembered your other discussion]. I can understand your dilemma. If I had faced a similar situation I would have patted him and told him that he was talking and worrying over nothing and that he would soon be alright.You did not commit any sin. Read 'Doctor's word' by R.K.Narayan.

What a touching experience. I'm glad your friend came back ok. I think you did the right thing, because the situation was about that moment in wishing to keep that promise... to let your friend feel more at peace and comfort. I'm sure he would understand that you do wish to keep that promise no matter what, even if you are given situations that you cannot. But the fact that you wished to make it happen for him, I think would have given him a lot of comfort in that moment and would not be a lie. I would've done the same thing.

If it was me, I would have also said "yes." I'm sure your friend would have been happy with whatever help you can give to his family and if ever he did pass away (which thankfully didn't happen) I think you would have done your best to help them also.

At a time of sorrow and weakness as good people we immediately agree to help in whichever way we can. Sometimes because of our weakness we do not consider all the facts before saying yes. However, as good people we do this because we would want others to do the same for us if we were perhaps in the situation. As a good person with morals that would include doing what is best and doing what is best does not necessarily mean providing more then we actually can. So I would say if it meant find a safe place for them where perhaps we could not then that means we kept our promise. I know as a good person thesids you would have taken your last piece of bread and fed the entire family, even at your own cost because you are a caring person, I too would do the same. However, if that meant you now cannot feed your own family and can no longer feed your friend's family he would not be happy. So your promise to your friend meant you are going to do what it takes, which means you would perhaps find a place they can go to, help from time to time and not only providing the food. As you would not abandon them you would watch out for them. Watching out for them means you would visit, encourage, pray with them, and simply be a good friend. So to a great extent you would be keeping your promise to your friend. As far as your willing would help you too.

Hello thesids, Your friend surely knew your condition when he asked you to promise you will take care of his family. If he had had another trustworthy friend to ask him this, I think he would have made that friend make THE promise. But he trusted you, despite your dependency on your wife. I don't think he referred the material part of life, but more the spiritual side of things. You may not be able to sustain finnancial his orphan family, but you would surely make a good spiritual father for his lovely daughter. This is why I think you must be proud he chose you to be the one who must take care of his family. It would have been no better decision for you than accept this honor.

I also would have said yes. You would have done your best to give your best support that you could. You are a great friend. So glad he is going to be ok.