liar, procrastinator

Thanks for respoding. I really think there's not any differene in the two.It's a very bad habit to get into.

There is a big difference. They do go hand in hand but they're not the same. You can be a procrastinator but not a liar. And you can be a liar but not a procratinator. I'm a procrastinator. But I sure as hell am not a liar. If I haven't done something I should, then I'll say, I haven't found the time. That doesn't make me a liar. I just don't have the time. It is a lie though when one accepts a job that he has no intention of doing. It is on the intention of the person that makes it lying or procrastinating. But sometimes, lying goes hand in hand with procrastinating because they don't feel comfortable enough to say that they haven't done something. So they make excuses to reason out why.

Thanks for your input, swirlz. I still don't see alot of difference in the two. When u tell someone u will do something & don't u have told them a lie be it intenional or not.

Thanks for yopur response. I really can't separate the two. If u tell me something i expect u to keep your word. I guess i have just put up w/it toooooo long.

How right u are, Zandi. Thanks for your response.

Thanks for responding. He is not the only one that does it but he makes it worse by being that way w/his mom. My word has always meant so much to me. I guess people who do that could care less about their word. u ARE RIGHT, HE DID NOT GET THAT FROM HIS MOM. i DON'T KNOW WHERE HE GETS ALOT OF HIS WAYS. Friend of mine laughed & ask me the other day if i thought i got the wrong baby at the hospital,lol. Of course she was teasing but i can not stand the way he ats lately like for 3 years for sure.

Maybe...we just can't understand, why they are like this? I am finding that there seems to be some outside force, at work with my son, too! I truly am wondering if it is whom he has chosen as a partner....and her ways, her lifestyle is creeping into his, with great influence. I don't know, JO, we know we didn't raise our children this way....WHAT UP???

Good question,, if u figure it out let me know. My son was like this before he married but a little bird did tell me the other day his wife had alot to do w/the way he's acted for the last 3 years.I have never blamed her but it did give me something new to think about but i still think he needs to change his ways toward his mother.

I am very hard nosed about it but after hearing it out of my son for so many years i am pretty disgusted w/him. He seems to think it's cute when he uses that excuse. I don't like it out of him or anybody else. Thanks for responding.

If I may add, there are also people who are considered as compulsive liars. They lie about anything at will and it turns out to be habitual, one reason why the old lie detector device is no longer considered accurate because habitual and compulsive liars have no distinct reading on the device. Lol. There are also habitual or compulsive procrastinators, postponers or delayers, etc. Like lying, procrastination is a behavioral problem, a procrastinator has issues with priorities or is just too lazy or stressed out to deliver. But here's the ugly part about it, one can be a procrastinator and a liar all rolled in one. After a promise isn't delivered one can then make up something and lie why he has not delivered. One must consider facing these issues within themselves or it will eat them up from the inside in the long run. In the end no one will trust them on their word and they will be branded as losers. Lol. Unless it's petty lies and procrastination there is hope yet but they have to face themselves to fix their issues. That is if they don't put it off for another day. The longer it dwells on people the harder this habit will be broken. Cheers.

The reason why I know so much about liars and procrastinators is that I have been lied to all my life, but is a long and different story. That was why at a later age I started to study psychology on my own to figure out why people do these things. Somewhere along one's life a chain of events made one to be as such. Sometimes they are just victims of circumstances that lead them to be so. It's very hard for us specially if those affected with these behavioral problems is from our family, close relatives or very close friends because whether we like it or not we will be affected by them one way or another. Yet there is still hope, and if they let us help them get out of this problem then it may not be too late. But only if they want it. If this happened to be one of my family or very close friends I would extend my helping hand to try to get them out of the deep hole they dug for themselves. It's really tricky though and there is a very narrow window of opportunity to help because they will have their defense mechanism always on the guard. We can always try to soften the collision impact by understanding and trying to gain their trust, and subtly lead them to the right path. There is no shortcuts here and it is a dangerous path, we may open more can of worms or a pandora's box or chain of events, but there is no other way. Instead of hating them entirely, take their hand and lead them slowly. We will be met with extreme defiance or worse, they may shut us out forever. In every venture there is always risks. But in my experience only true love will suffice and then maybe there is actually hope. Cheers.

I would do anything to help my son overcome this problem but he's been at it so long i don't think he'll ever quit. He is 50 years old & when u do something for such a long time it gets to be a habit. Thanks again got your input. Have a good one.

Thanks for your response. I know they drive me nuts being that way whatever u want to call them.

U got that right, he is not reliable & i don't understand why he & others feel like they just have to say something that they know they are not going to do. GRRRRR, DRIVES ME NYTS for people to be this way. Thanks for responding.

I agree. It sure does get old when it happens all the time. U lose faith in people when they do this or i do anyway. Thanks for your response.

HI HATLEY, Thanks for responding. I have never been like alot of mothers that think their children do no wrong. Facts are facts & my oldest has lied to me many times. He can say he procrastinates till he's blue in the face but i know he lies. I have alot of faults but being a liar is not one of them.

I don't fuss on him at all. He is grown & i'm sorry he chooses to be this way but he is 50 years old & i'm sure he will keep on keeping on just the way he is. This doesn't mean i have to like it or agree w/it, lol. Thanks for your response.

Thanks for your response. I feel the way i feel,. U have the right to feel the way u feel. Have a good night.

I certainly agree.

HI JEN, i AGREE. i THINK ALOT OF IT GETS TO BE A HABIT OUT OF CONTROL. One of my pet peeves, i'll admit. Thanks for responding.

Thanks for responding. I can't see a whole lot of difference in the two. I think they could have done w/out coming up the word procrastanation. It's just a nice way of covering up lies & people not doing what they say they will.

Well, procrastination is a reason but it's almost always not good or acceptable.

Yes, i do feel very stronly about this. It's not only my son that bothers me doing this altho he is the worse one. I just hate for anyone to tell me something & not follow through w/it. Thanks for responding.

OH NO, not u to , lol. Glad u warned me.I just have a big problem w/people not keeping their word. My word has always meant alot to me. Guess i expect too much out of people but ido what i say i'm going to if at all possible.If i can't i sure let them know. Thanks for your response.

HI BON, tHANKS FOR YOUTR RESPONSE. sOUNDS LIKE U HAvE BEEN THERE DONE THAT JUST LIKE I HAVE. It sure gets old, huh? I have always felt responsible for the way my sons act but they didn't get all this bull from me. I have alot of faults but lying is not one of them.

Bless your heart, i'm sorry u have to put up w/him acting that way. I don't see how u deal w/it on a daily basis. It would drive me crazy to. It's bad to not be able to believe in someone u love. I don't think they ever stop doing that, it just gets to be a way of living w/them.. Welcome to mylot. Hope u enjoy it as much as i do. Thanks for responding.

Thanks for your response. I really don't agree w/what u say but know u don't agree w/me either, lol. That's what disussions are all about. Have a good one.

I think people who do that are very rude. If i fixed for my son & his family & they didn't show up i would be terribly ticked off & they wouldn't be invited back for a meal.Thanks for responding.