Police said assault wasn't worth the paperwork!
By ellie333
@ellie333 (21016)
March 12, 2011 3:25pm CST
Last September I had an agressive male neighbour shout and swear at me and them slam my own window in on me which caused nerve damaged where the force was so hard it damaged my elbow. I telephoned the police and they came out and had a word with him but although he a very large man approx 30 stone and I am just over 5 foot they said that it wouldn't be worth the paperwork as it was his word against mine, over the months since there have been many other incidents and the latest is that he is telling people that I kicked his cat to death and am reporting him for having no tax on his car. His cat died in another neighbours house whose own cat he had shot with a pellet gun leaving a hole in its neck, to which he said it shouldn't have been in my garden. She telephoned the RSPCA (animal rescue) as she had in fact seen him kick his cat. I have two of my own and wouldn't harm an animal. I even told the police when they came round that I would rather kick him than an innocent animal. The policeman said it was him himself that had ticketed his car, no one had reported. This was beginning to affect me and my son and our quality of life in this neighbourhood, so much so that I even looked for another home to live in. However, I have now changed my state of mind around and will not allow me or my son to be intimidated by this man and his family and now when he stares at us, I just stare straight back, he doesn't like that at all. I also forgot to mention he sat in his car from 2.30pm to 7.30pm just watching one day and my son stopped playing out because of it.
How would you have dealt with this situation? Do you think the police could have done more after the assault? Have you ever had to deal with a bad neighbour? I feel sorry for this man as it is only children and women on their own he bullies so he must have been bullied himself at some stage to make him the way he is but enough is enough really. Lot more incidents but don;' want to make discussion post into a book lol.
2 people like this
16 responses
@Nadinest1 (2016)
• Canada
15 Mar 11
If you want to charge someone, I don't think it should be up to the police to decide.
If you are not happy, contact the police headquarters and try to get more results. There is no excuse for this.
If you are scared, you could have a paper drawn up so that it is against the law for him to have any contact with you our your son.
Good luck.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
16 Mar 11
Hi Nadinest1, In this country it is called a restaining order but as he lives in such close proximity I do not think this would be possible, because of the time elapsed since initial assault I don't think I would be able to insist now but will investigate my options. Thnak you. Huggles. Ellie :D
@Nadinest1 (2016)
• Canada
17 Mar 11
Victims have a right...he might have to move farther away from you.
At least talk to someone about it please.
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@wendimac (16)
• Canada
12 Mar 11
This is a serious situation. This guy is obviously stalking you and your son in an effort to intimidate you for what purpose? Who Knows. Some people are just crazy and the police should have dealt with him. Some people are just bullies. You need to call police every time there is an incident, no matter how small it is. If you can't get the police to listen to you, go to the media.
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@ellie333 (21016)
•
12 Mar 11
Hi Wendimac, Welcome to the Lot. I am keeping my own personal log and also have the police log number for the original incident and two since. I did let it get me down because it was affecting my young son also but have had a talk with him and we are both not going to let it affect us anymore. From what other neighbours have said he seems to pick on women on their own, one neighbour who he used to intimidate has now got a partner and he tries to all pally with her now so I feel (gut feeling) that perhaps his mother bullied him and he is getting his own back in a warped way, who knows, gotta feel sorry for him really as he has no friends one of his children is already in care so he attacks where he can to feel better I guess. Huggles Ellie :D
@ellie333 (21016)
•
12 Mar 11
Hi Wendiemac, Thing is after he done that with the window I was so angry and the adrenalin was rushing through me I think if I had attacked back rather than phone the police they would have been coming for me to take away but because of my responsibility to littleun, (what good is his mum in jail, as it would have been blind temper) I held back, wish I hadn't now. Even said to the police so can I go hit him then, would it be worth the paperwork then eh! lol. The landlords wife well and truly dropped him in it didn't she?, thanks for the giggle. Yeah what goes around comes around so this guy will end up paying in some way I agree.
@wendimac (16)
• Canada
12 Mar 11
Ellie, I would just like to add that I am dealing with a bad neighbour right now. He is a big guy with a big dog, and tried to intimidate us. He was coming around and pounding on our door, screaming and yelling about my kid's noise, and the noise of the leaking shower, etc. So i got up in his face, screamed at him to get the @#$% off my patio, or I would call the police. He ran back to his suite with his tail between his legs, and I haven't seen or heard from him since. Moreover, a few years ago, we lived in a place with a crazy next door neighbour. He got into an argument with my husband, and threw my husband head first into a fence! And to my recollection, the police didn't charge him, only gave him a warning. Fortunately, since the neighbour was a professor at a prestigious university, he didn't want any trouble, so he limited his harrassment to derogatory comments from behind his own fence. Finally, a little comic relief for you... I had a landlord a few years ago who accused my son of pulling the fire alarm. My son is autistic, and is never out of my sight, so I knew he didn't do it. When I explained this to the landlord he physically shoved me. Here's the funny part...20 minutes later, the RCMP arrived at the building on an unrelated issue. The landlord's wife, assuming that I had called them, went running up to the cops and started telling them that I had fallen, and that her husband had not pushed me. So she told on him without knowing it! At that point, I burst out laughing and shut my door.
So take heart, ellie...this guy will get his, one way or another. Take care.
1 person likes this
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
20 Mar 11
Yes, it is sad.The thing is, he is a bully and a bully will back down when you stand up to him. Try and learn some techniques for standing up to bullies.
Ideally, you would approach him and offer the olive branch and start again with both parties getting along but I'm afraid he would see this as a sign of weakness and go on the attack even more. You are certainly between a rock and a hard place and I wish you luck.
@dpk262006 (58678)
• Delhi, India
13 Mar 11
Hi there!
Am sorry to hear all this and I hope you are safe and sound. I think that matte be reported to Police for his continuous intimidation and threatening gestures. What he does is not acceptable and he needs some treatment.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
13 Mar 11
Hi ellie! This is totally outrageous! Why don't you and your
neighbors for a "group/gang" and all get together to do something
to get rid of this bully? That is what he is, he is a bully!
I know that we have the same problems here where I live! We have
one beotch who is a troublemaker and have had the police involved
over and over again and they keep saying they can't do anything
either, although no physical violence has occured, except when
she tried to hit me with her car! She is just a psychotic wacko
who is disturbing everyone she can and this has been going on
for 30 years! There have been 3 neighbors who have moved out
because of her, the landlord knows and says they can't do anything
about it because "she pays her rent"! I told them BS! I worked
for Landlord Attorneys and there are other reasons for Evictions
(we live in Rental Apartments)! Meanwhile she is still here,
annoying everyone and I would have killed her (or someone else
would have) but, she's not worth going to jail over! You need
to get your neighbors together so that you can all fight this
guy. That is the only chance you have of possibly getting rid
of him or getting something done!
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
13 Mar 11
Hi Opal, That was my exact reasoning when he attacked me as I was shaking with anger and adrenalin but because of my son I had to respond rather than react cos it woud have been me getting arrested instead. Jacob playing out today because the man is out which means I can relax and not be on guard as much. Huggles Ellie :D
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
15 Mar 11
Hi again ellie! I miss you and Jake so much! Give him a hug and
kiss from Auntie Opal! I still say that you need to work together
with your neighbors. If you all are on the "same page" maybe the
police will "listen". Just a thought~Love, Les
1 person likes this
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
14 Mar 11
I cannot explain how affected I was be reading your post. It is awful and the man is stalking. Record everything and try to get photos of him if he hangs around outside again. I am so sorry that you are all going through this. What does he have to do before the police do anything? Injure you or your son? O am so sorry and am at a loss for words. Please take it all seriously and try to document it all. God bless you and your family.
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@ellie333 (21016)
•
14 Mar 11
Oh Cynthiann bless you, we are both fine and dealing with it okay now, haven't been but decided I cannot allow this man to affect us any more in this way. I am keeping a daily log of everything that happens which is all I can do really. The hardest thing has been dealing with the shattered peace that I felt in my life before this event, it triggered stuff from the past. I have got through all that now which is why i am at the stage where I can post about it as the original attack on me happened last September and a lot stronger now. Thank you for caring, appreciated. I refuse to be a victim any more though nor my son so not going to allow it to affect any more. huggles and God bless. Ellie :D
@SViswan (12051)
• India
14 Mar 11
Hmmm...we've had situations similar to this. But months later we just avoid each other (honestly, I avoid being around when these neighbours are...I know it's not the right things to do....but I have no option). Most cell phones have a voice recording application. You might be able to take pictures of him or record his arguments to prove to the police that he is a menace and that it's affecting your life in your home?
1 person likes this
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
14 Mar 11
The minute you stand up to a bully....that is when you break them down. They only have power when we give it to them. EVen if the police had done something it might have only added fuel to his fire...I would document everything...every little minute detail of what he does..maybe down the road you can get him on charges of stalking or something bigger like that....throw his mangy butt in a place where the sun doesn't shine very much!
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@3SnuggleBunnies (16374)
• United States
12 Mar 11
Sounds like someone who needs to as they say "get a life" there are better things to do than cause trouble. I don't blame your son about being watched, we have a neighbor lady like that. It's not every time but it's creepy and annoying. Someone said she's just lonely... well then why does she stare at me and not hold down a conversation? I could be telling the kids to get inside the van and out her nose or her daughters goes pressed against the window. Too many lil weird things. Like I commented about their illegal hose coming out of their basement w/ laundry water running down my drive way. Interesting how when I mentioned it to my DD1 while in our driveway suddenly the hose was on their property and no more water running down my drive way.
If I had the courage I would of walked up to the man when he was watching your son... Did you want to come and play too?
1 person likes this
@p1kef1sh (45681)
•
13 Mar 11
I am appalled at the police's attitude over this Ellie. I appreciate that they might need more evidence to bring a prosecution but to effectively do nothing is a corporate dereliction of duty. Have you written to your MP about this matter? He is Hugo Swire and although he seems more interested in the elderly retired members of his constituency than the younger live ones (!) I feel that you should write to him and ask for his assistance in having the Police be more proactive.
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@ellie333 (21016)
•
13 Mar 11
Hi P1kef1sh, Now that is a thought, just might do that. The police went and had a word with him that is all and he came across to them how sorry he was an poor me scenario like he does if it a man or an official but switches back to being aggressive and horrid when they not around. The police did speak to the landlord of our properties and he has had two warnings from them now to stop. Today is pleasant though, sun is shining, Jacob out playing and he is out so peaceful. Huggles. Ellie :D
@yoyo1198 (3641)
• United States
13 Mar 11
It is good that you are keeping a log. It can be used to prove police negligence later when this man goes off the deep end and shoots someone or causes serious harm to someone. Because I definitely see that happening. Everyone said that the attack on Congresswoman Giffords was made by a man who wasn't 'quite right'. This neighbor man of yours sounds like an angry person that is just about ready to explode. Since the police refuse to do anything (and I understand why they think they can't) I would be especially careful to stay out of his way. I agree that moving would be too hard for you, but all precautions should be taken. Meeting with your other neighbors and documenting their experiences with him is a good idea. Everyone has to be willing to come forward when he goes over the line.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
13 Mar 11
Hi Yoyo, It is lovely today as he is out somewhere so it means I can relax and my son can go out to play in peace but we shouldn't have to live like this really. Yes he does seem like a timebomb waiting to explode but meanwhile all I can do is log everything eh! Huggles. Ellie :D
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
13 Mar 11
My goodness ellie this guy sounds dangerous! I can see you have a good heart feeling sorry for him and he may have been through although he sounds quite scary! I commend you for not wanting to feel intimidated into having to move. I think the Police should have done more but if it is one word against another it is difficult for them to have grounds for charges. This neighbour of yours sounds frightening because in my opinion, there is a certain sickness in people who deliberately hurt a defenceless animal. I hope he will eventually be dealt with by the law before he is arrested for hurting someone again. Please take good care.
1 person likes this
@holesworth (220)
• Australia
13 Mar 11
The police should certainly have done more! It is not up to them to prove that the crime occurred beyond all resonable doubt. That is what a court is for. So, to me, it appears that they were merely trying to avoid doing any work. If I were you, I would make an official complaint. I would also start documenting any negative dealings that you have with your neighbour; and consequently return to the police station with the relevant details of any ongoing harrassment and/or stalking. You have a right to enjoy a peaceful and trouble-free lifestyle. Furthermore, in regard to the original assault, have you considered the possibility of a civil action? That may be one more option that is available to you.
@Memnon (2170)
•
13 Mar 11
All too often the police are powerless to act until something 'material' has occurred. Even if they had acted, chances are that our judicial system would throw it out, certainly at this stage.
For myself I would feel no compassion for this man: he may have been a victim himself st some point, but that does not excuse his actions- though I understand your point. It is an argument often used by lawyers to defend the inexcusable.
You are right to diarise events, whih might eventually lead to an injunction. Though at this point it is still just hearsay from a legal standpoint.
The only practical thing that I can suggest at the moment is to raise the awareness of others who might verify your his actions, without giving him an excuse to assert that it is you who is conducting a hate campaign. I don't know your family/ friends situation, but perhaps increased visits etc may help ward him off.
I hope that you can get this resolved sooner rather than later. Take care, the both of you.
@GardenGerty (160951)
• United States
12 Mar 11
Ellie, to me that is very scary. I do not think the police are doing their job. Is he this way about all of the neighbors? I would not let my son out of my sight when this man is at home, that is for sure. Did you see the doctor about your elbow? You need to keep a written account of what is going on. I would move, if I could.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
12 Mar 11
Hi Gardengerty, I am the fourth woman he has harmed and bullied but the only one to phone the police. I am keeping a log of everything but the police say until others speak out it is my word against his. I had to go to hospital about elbow so that is also logged. The police told me to get statements from everyone that had been affected and then the NEXT time he does something they can. Ridiculous. I am out there with my son whenever he is around you can assured but it does mean that the peace and relaxation that once was in my home is no longer there as I cannot relax when son does go out to play but why should I have to move? Something is not right though as one of his children is in care and he even told my sons dad that I neglected him and left him alone whilst I went shopping??? Never, always with adult supervision, own guilty conciencious perhaps eh! Huggles.
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
12 Mar 11
Oh ellie this is terrible and I would be very upset also. It does not sound like the police proceeded in the correct manner. If police do not react to this kind of happenings then when will they? Hopefully not when something gets way worse.
I hope your elbow is doing better now and did you pursue damages by this person?
I do hope he is not around anymore but dread knowing that he is causing more harm somewhere else. I agree with GG above that if he has not left and the police is not doing an adequate job then maybe considering to move may not be a bad idea.
On the other hand if he is still around and still committing offenses then maybe gather more neighbors to go against him with the law.
Take care of yourself.
1 person likes this
@ellie333 (21016)
•
12 Mar 11
Hi Hardworkinggirl, It has been awful but coming back out the other side now which is why I can start a discussion about it but it did get me very low and affected my son also bless. The elbow is fine but the nerve damage affects my hand, I go to turn the tap on and suddenly no strength or feeling. The doctors say it could be weeks or months there is no telling on repair for this one. The police have said what you have said and for me to personally gather evidence from other neighbours but still cannot act until he attacks me in front of witnesses. I don't see why I should move from somewhere until this event I was really happy and my other neighbours are wonderful. Huggles. Ellie :D
