will you stay or you give up easily?
By asliah
@asliah (11137)
Philippines
March 21, 2011 8:34am CST
in terms of love, will you stay or you give up easily,due to obstacles and problems you've face,especially if the family if your lover is involve.
do you think you can stay with that person???or just give up just to end the problems that experiencing....???
my boyfriend and i have this kind of problem and his family are involve with this, because i really love him so much even his family dont want him to be involve in a relationship,i decided to STAY with him and i will never give up easily.
so that i really believe in the power of love....
4 people like this
28 responses
@titchy1231 (732)
•
23 Mar 11
his family dont run his life, he does. he decides who he wants to be with and just because his family doesnt want him to be with someone is no reason to leave. its them your with, its him and his family have no choice.
@sarahruthbeth22 (43143)
• United States
23 Mar 11
If I Know he loves me and he needs me , I'll stay.With a true connection , We can face anything. As for family, it is hard but not impossible. He can be your love and their son. He shouldn't have to choose.
@Austee (131)
•
23 Mar 11
It depends on how gradual the problem is and how will you react with it. Your situation is actually similar to ours. But in our case, we are the family, against the girlfriend. At first, I really don't care who will be the girlfriend of my brother. I ignored at first even if the girlfriend already told lies since I thought she is okay and kind. And I think she behave that way since she is young enough and not yet mature. I accepted her. We actually help her. My mom does not want her from the very beginning since my brother is at his worst attitude. But I told my mom that she is okay to be with my brother because I can see developments.
When the girl was left alone and no other house to live in. We offered to stay with us and if she got a job and can suffice her needs she could separate in time. But what happened is really a disaster. We helped her get a job but then she changed. Her true self evolve. Its really bad she doesn't have respect and she became over confident with her self. I told her we could accept her in time but how could we, if he makes my brother at worst to the point that my brother could kill me. She continued lying and make false stories.
If the case is the family do not want you for no reason at all, then you should not give up and show how sincere you are and be true to yourself. Show respect. But then if its like that your boyfriend is becoming worst. I guess you should think twice. Give up because the situation will just worsen. If you both really are meant to be. You will be in the end but at the right way.
@ellanick (191)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
If the relationship is worth fighting for, then stay and fight for the one that you love! You will be the one to decide if your love can surpass all the obstacles, problems you are facing right now. I know some people who fight for their love against all odds, they proved to their families that they really love each other and now they are living as a happy couple.
@scorpiobabes (7225)
• United States
22 Mar 11
When I was twenty, I was engaged to a young man. He didn't want to tell his mom because she might get upset (she was a schizophrenic). I had told my mother and father, and they both had approved of our being engaged, although a bit prematurely (according to mom). I asked him when he would tell his parents but I kept getting excuses. Finally I made the difficult decision to end our relationship.
Eighteen years go by and since then, I have married and divorced. I began a new relationship. I thought, hoped, wished this man loved me. I held on for YEARS. But nearing the seventh year, I began to realize it was not healthy, that there was more out there. I finally decided to break it off, the day after he turned fifty. I was too nice though and he ran away without giving me a chance to say how I felt.
My point is--who you are NOW may not be who you are in the FUTURE. Best of luck to you!
@derek_a (10874)
•
22 Mar 11
If I love a person, that love takes precedence over everything else. If they have a difficult family, that to me can be dealt with in the relationship. So I wouldn't give up on that. If that person wants somebody else though, that is different. I would let them go because they wouldn't really be wanting to stay with me. Nobody can predict how they are going to feel in the future, it is sad, but relationships are a risk and not something that we are going to be happy about.
_Derek
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@se7enthbird (8307)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
it all depends on how truly you love this person. are you willing to stand up and fight for the love. if you decided to stay, your lover must have the same decision as yours. this happened to me and my wife. my family wanted me to marry a filipina who lives and works at Uk. she saw our video clip of our band and from then on had communications with my father and mother. the whole family wanted me to marry her, so when i met my wife, a woman who is perfectly fit for me.... it started a fued. they even talked to... pushing me, insisting to marry the girl from UK. they even said i will have a better future and so as my children... but how can i havea better future if i dont love. nor like the person. they talked to me over and over, and when i said the whole family i mean every single on of them, from grandparents down to the cousins.... the girl from Uk even came to the Philippines for a visit. but i can not stand being with her. i know she likes me but i dont like her. to make the story short, we are married now for 8 years. some of the family does not like her until now, but we dont care. we love each other and we love our son. i know my decision is right. one time my grandfather even asked me are you happy... even you dont have money? why is money the only thing that can make me happy? its hard to fight for something when the family is involve but it is nice to stand in the rain after a battle and proving them they are all wrong. if you will stay make sure you two will stay together... fight the battles together until the end. goodluck
@voldrox (7191)
• India
22 Mar 11
Hello Asliah,
The best thing you can do is work on yourself and try to convince his parents that you both are going to be a very happy couple. I know it is hard facing your partners parents when they were not expecting their child to get into relationships. I had the same case, but i am was going to face her parents and put my everything to try to talk to them if only my girlfriend ever showed me signs that she was really into me. Apparently she was scared and so i let go of her. We have broke up due to other problems and i am doing great now. She was so insecure for everything, after all that i put from my side for her she would never feel reassured and i had to give up someday and she let go of me, herself. God help her.
@aeiou78 (3445)
• Malaysia
22 Mar 11
In our life, whatever we should give up, then we should.
ha! ha! ha!
For me, I must understand of what I want.
Am I doing right or not?
I never want to be influenced by the people around in making my decision. No other people can decide for me.
Too aggressive will give me too much of unhappiness or sadness.
Take everything in my life easily.
@TwiKnight (107)
• Malaysia
22 Mar 11
I have every reason that she is the right one for me, and I'll see to it that we will one day live with each other no matter how our parents may regard our relationship. It's complicated. So, yeah, though we had our fair share of setbacks in our relationship, I simply have no intention of letting anyone or anything stand in our way.
@cyndylyne (18)
• Canada
22 Mar 11
Love! Do we really know what love is? let's really think about it.
Love is an emotion of strong affection and personal attachment.(I quote)
But I think it's more than that, you see when you love a person you put self away,(you become selfless).So ask yourself, am I being selfish to want to stay in this relationship? What are the reasons for his family to be feeling this way about you? Hopfully that will give you the answer to your question. So the question now is, what is his best intrest? This is where you will know if you should stay or go. being selfless, that is the true power of love.
@sunny5u (2069)
• India
21 Mar 11
Hi asliah, i'm not that sure , if i really love some one upto peaks then i may STAY with her, but till now i didn't find such a girl , if that happens then i fight , i'll try to convince my parents or the world just for her.Hope i'll meet such a girl...
@globaldoc (858)
• Philippines
21 Mar 11
You will never be able to tell how powerful true love is....
@fitriadi21 (386)
• Indonesia
21 Mar 11
In the name of love everything is possible. In the name of love we also have to defend what we believe, about your lover, about future plans together, and what should be done together for our love story can be accepted and blessed by everyone.
I agree and amazed at the same time, that you still stay with your lover, but should you and your lover, keept trying to be accepted by the family of each of you
@veproye31 (75)
• United States
22 Mar 11
you have to hang on in that tought situation, the power of love will conquer all.
@kwylima (451)
• United States
21 Mar 11
If I really live the person and he loves me as well so I stay. You won't live with his family you will live with him so if he wants to be with you so stay with him and try toll live your lifes wihout think about what he other people are thinking about your relationship.
I wish you the best
@donski (132)
• Philippines
22 Mar 11
how heavy are the arguments that makes you decide to give up and how tolerable and manageable the situations are that makes you decide to stay? you have to take a lot of considerations. You know yourself more than anybody else. Things around you are the major factors that affects your judgment. You don't have to give up someone you love when you can do something to fix the problems. If your family doesn't like him that doesn't mean that is not the right person for you, so why give up. Prove to them that he is worth your love. then after you have done your piece and still they dislike him, it's now the time for your to decide, you weigh things. Make a fair judgment, though sometimes it's painful or it's maybe a happy ending, just give your best always. If you feel like staying then go on, it's your life anyway. Problems in any relationship is always there, no exemption. If your relationship with this guy will work well, then congratulations, but in time, if not, move on. you don't have to ruin your life and live miserable just because it didn't work. There maybe somebody that deserves you. just be patient. Love yourself.
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