Can you still love the one who hurts you?
By xien2xien
@xien2xien (1382)
Philippines
March 27, 2011 9:24pm CST
Last night my bestfriend do something that really breaks my heart. i love her so much i know i can forgive her sooner or later, but i can't forget the things she made last night. I still love her after everything that she'd done but this one is a long term situation... for now I HATE HER SO MUCH.... can you still love someone who hurts you?
1 person likes this
17 responses
@natjohn20 (200)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
It depends of the situation and the action she commits to you. I think if that action is so hurtful, I would not forgive her and just leave her. I don't know about you, I know you may have the heart to forgive her for what she has done, just give it a little bit more time to understand her actions and her side of the story, maybe one day you could forgive her for what she have done to you.
1 person likes this
@sathishkumar3660 (325)
• India
28 Mar 11
If your love is true on somebody and you like them very much, then still what ever they do wrong to you, your love towards them will never decrease. But however after a long time also when ever you meet or think about that person, you will also sure remember about that fight and hurting. I think sure you will not lose your friend and also you will not forget what your friend made to you.
1 person likes this
@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
Yeah. I love everyone, even those that tried to kill me with a spoon and fork.
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@frontvisions101 (16043)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
Yes. There's a big chance those people are cannibals, just had a hunch.![](/Content/images/emotes/confused.gif)
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@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
well then goodluck living in a world of cannibals, i hope they won't get any closer chance to make you their lunch
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
does anybody really tried to kill you with a spoon and fork? and you really forgive them? how complicated the life your living.....
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@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
28 Mar 11
Personally I feel that when we love someone and that person hurts us we are not like light switches. We don't instantly stop loving a person. Sure we hurt and sometimes get so angry that we with time loose the love
As for your friend depending on what she did allow time to heal you and her to gain your trust. You can forgive but my thinking is that if I forget then I am letting my guard down and allowing room for more pain. Does not mean I hold it over the persons head for a lifetime just means that I am cautious as to how much I allow the person in my life.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
i can surely forgive but i can't forget, i don't know why people wants to forgive and forget, i have no amnesia to forget everything, plus i have a very good memory of things that happens in my life
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
28 Mar 11
I surely can relate to your comment. I can be a very forgiving person but the old saying that says fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. So that is where the I cannot forget. ![](/Content/images/emotes/hugs.gif)
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@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
i like that saying, i think doing the same thing over and over again that hurts you is unforgivable anymore, but sometimes, when you really love a person you can still forgive them no matter how painful they caused you, love is really blind
@keshia2007r (2880)
• United States
29 Mar 11
of course, even if someone hurts you for that moment the overall love you have for that person is still there. This is why love hurt. Unless you are a cold hearted person (im speaking in general). For me, love doesn't come and go so easily. If i had a fallen out with one of my friends, I would dislike the situation, but my love for him or her would still be there. Especially if whatever happened between us could be fixed. Btw, i'm loving your topics, keep up the good work!
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
29 Mar 11
i believe that once you love someone, you will love them for your entire life, it's just you don't feel the same way as before but definitely they were kept deeply in your heart.... well thanks for loving my topics its a very nice compliment, though i'm just sharing my everyday feeling toward somebody around me... anyways thanks a lot
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
28 Mar 11
Yes actually. I have loved this guy who broke my heart for the longest time. Now when I think of it, I just think it was a waste of my time waiting for someone who wouldn't return and i knew that. But still when I did love him, it felt right. Anyway my best friends have made me mad many times too. I swore I'd never talk to them but yeah I did end up talking
. I would be o lost without them..
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@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
28 Mar 11
I hope things get better with you and your friends soon. You know it would be bad loosing one of your best friends.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
29 Mar 11
well that would be very bad as in the worst cause i only have one bestfriend and we were bestfriend for 8 years and losing her is a tough situation.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
that was cool. i also experienced some time saying i won't talk to them anymore and ended up still talking to them, but last night i didn't say anything when i found out that she broke her promise i just look her in the eye and say nothing, when i'm mad or hurt i usually don't say anything i guess it will only make things worst
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@noorhizat (209)
• Malaysia
28 Mar 11
Yes I can, and I did.
Why you might ask. Well to me love is to sacrifice. If you love a person than sacrifice that feeling of hurt for your love. I don't know what she did to hurt you, you need to forgive her if the thing is first time and a mistake that is not major that it will hurt your relationship forever.
But if the thing that she did keeps continuing, hold on till you cannot stand anymore. Show her your love to her, if it still goes on, than by all means do what you heart feel. She does not love you anymore. even if you still love her, let her go. Sacrifice yourself as a gesture of your love.
@ANIME123 (2466)
• United States
29 Mar 11
I don't really know that is tough to say, but I know what you mean because my best friend has also hurt me and I don't know if I will be able to ever forgive her because I will always remember what she did. We are still best friends, but it's just really hard to answer your question for me I still continue to be best friend with my best friend, but that's my choice.![](/Content/images/emotes/happy.gif)
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@tessa9 (1085)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
Of course you cans still love someone who hurt you but there comes a point where you have to let someone go if all they do is to hurt you. A relationship no matter what it is should always have a give and take. You can't be the only one taking the hurt and forgiving while she will keep hurting you. Once everything evens out which will be sooner or later like you said, talk to her and really talk to her about how you feel about your friendship.
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
29 Mar 11
that's the beauty of love, don't get me wrong this love i'm talking is for my bestfriend, the one who really hurt you the most is STILL the one who can make you happy the most too, i guess i can still forgive my bestfriend in due time when time heals all the wounds
@nicregi (1934)
• Malaysia
28 Mar 11
To be honest, yes but it takes time and effort. Don't push for it but just cherish the person.
Time is all that matters and if you have the heart, it will be all right.
However, always remember that you can always forgive but hard to forget.
Just relax yourself!
@xien2xien (1382)
• Philippines
30 Mar 11
very true, i've tried to forgive many times before but until now i can't forget what had happen and i still know the feeling of the pain it caused me though i didn't feel it anymore
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
29 Mar 11
Hi xien,
No, only God can do that. Being human it is our normal trait to hate the one that hurts us, especially when done repeatedly.
To break away from such kind of interaction may be good. It help avert further damage for both parties. It is not a good idea to hang around the one that brings us sadness for in the end, it is us that may be put in jeopardy.
Let God do the loving to the end.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
30 Mar 11
hi xien,
It depends on what grounds if we love a person we can forgive them even how much we hated them.
happy mylotting
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@valleyofberaca (299)
• Khaimah, United Arab Emirates
31 Mar 11
Maybe, but even if the time goes by and you learn to forgive and love the one who hurts you, still the pain was there, and the love that you felt before also changes.
In my case, I hate someone (a relative) who hurt my feelings badly. For 7 years now, we don't talk, and I don't know what to say if someday we cross our path.
@masang (295)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
To love someone takes a lot of sacrifices and of course it entails pain and hurts. There's no such thing as perfect relationship in this world. Yes, it's normal to get hurt. But don't just remain there. You have to do something to mend your broken heart. And the best thing to do is to forgive and forget. If you would not forgive, the pain and hurts will remain in your heart. It's not easy to do this, But this is very possible. The decision is in your hands. To remain hurt or be free from it.
@tonyllenium (6252)
• Italy
28 Mar 11
in general i think not!!Probably when it happens i will change my opinion about htis person and naturally even the relationship between us will be affected and so changed dramatically..
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
28 Mar 11
The people who can hurt us the most, are those closest to our hearts.
It's because we expect them to always understand us so we presume that they won't hurt us. So when it happens, that they do something contrary to our belief or norms, we get hurt the most.
I think, you just let it pass. Time will heal that hurt and by then you are ready to face the person and confront him/her about it. Be forgiving and try to understand what lies beneath the said action.
Remember, you were friends before so why can't it be now anymore?
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