Do your man always lie?
By peachdoll
@peachdoll (54)
Philippines
March 30, 2011 12:24pm CST
I don't really know how to start this discussion, I just want to know your story or you opinion about the topic. Do you consider LIE as cheating? or to you, is any form of lie is also cheating? Why do some men lie to their partner?
Any response will be much appreciated.
1 person likes this
19 responses
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
30 Mar 11
One of my ex-boyfriends lied all the time. He lied about the smallest things and he made up stories about things that never happened. One day he said one thing and the next day he said something different. I lost my trust in him because of all of his lies and I got very skeptical whenever he told me something.
One day he called me and said: "I am ill and I have been admitted to a hospital" Normally my first thought would have been: "Oh no, it hope isn't something serious" but when he told me that we was at hospital my thoughts were: "I wonder if it is true and if it is just another story" I was so used to his lies that I simply didn't believe him when he said something, and his constant lies were one of the reasons why I broke up with him.
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
30 Mar 11
I meant: "I wonder if it is true OR if it is just another story"
@Ashucool007 (71)
• India
31 Mar 11
I lie only when i am in trouble ..........or something like that.
@LovingLife139 (1504)
• United States
30 Mar 11
I don't consider lies cheating, although I do think lies...even white lies...are a major personality weakness in any person, man or woman, who tells them. I'm one of those bluntly honest people, so my friends and family know that if they're about to ask a question that they don't want the honest answer to, don't ask it. (To be fair, I do tell them before I answer, "Are you sure you want my honest answer? I doubt you'll like it.")
Lies aren't cheating, in my opinion, but I've been open to my husband that if he doesn't want to tell the truth about something, lying will only make it worse. Some people catch a lie from their partners and simply put them on the spot about it...no, my husband knows that if I catch him telling a lie, I'm leaving, if only to drive around the city for a night. His lies are often ones that make the truth sound better through exaggeration, or ones meant to keep me safe from information. So they aren't ill-intentioned, per say, but still unacceptable. Needless to say, his past white-lie habit is now near non-existent.
Cheating to me is touching another woman in any romantic way, putting your emotional trust in another woman, or, of course, viewing so-called "adult" material. Cheating is another form of infidelity...and all of those I just listed are the forms of infidelity I find most destructive. Lying isn't infidelity...now technically, if you cheat in a game, it could also be considered a lie, I suppose, but in relationships, if your partner lies to you it doesn't automatically mean they aren't fully intending on remaining true to you. If your partner lies like my husband used to, with lies that aren't ill intentioned, at least it was said to attempt to make situations look or sound better. Covering up things never fixes them, however.
On a last note, it isn't just men who lie. Based on my own experiences, the women tend to lie the most, if only to put out that false polite vibe. Men are usually blunt and unafraid of the consequences of telling the truth. That's generally, and in my own experiences, but I did just want to mention that it's not just men.
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@peachdoll (54)
• Philippines
30 Mar 11
thanks for your response lovinglife.
I dont know how to deal with my man with some simple lies.. I dont know why it irritates me whenever I found out that he lied to me. I'm doing everything and all my best not to lie to him because I love him, but I can't feel he's doing the same thing. Yes he has been faithful and never cheated on me ever since but sometimes I dont know why he needs to tell lies. :(
@ladygator (3465)
• United States
30 Mar 11
Well, I guess he does but they are usually little silly lies that don't mean much. I am not sure how you consider it to be cheating.. I guess it depends on what the lies are about. If he is saying that he wasn't with another girl and he was or what ever he was keeping from you involved another girl then yes I would consider that maybe. But I think that you should reevaluate your expectations with the relationship and of him.
@gaiza12 (4884)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
My bf always lies to me before, but I always caught him because he is such a bad lair. I don't consider his lies cheating though because I know his reasons for lying. But I always get mad at him for doing so because for me, lying is only one way to lose someones trust. And since he keeps on doing the same lies, I got used to it already and am now losing my trust in him every time he does this.
@p3ks626 (6538)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
I think my partner seldom lies but there are times when he doesnt tell me the whole story of something especially f he knows that there's something in what he did that I didnt like. I also know when he is not telling the truth cause the tone of this voice changes.
@niluhputu960 (98)
• Indonesia
30 Mar 11
when the person lie to you one time he will do next time, it's kind a habit and addicted! because he did it before and it's worked so he try to do over and over. Sometimes there are person who lie for good. We can say that cheating is similar with lie, because behaving dishonest to gain advantage. My boyfriend sometimes lied to me, and after few days he will tell the reason behind it, mostly he lie for my own good, and he never lie for such a important things, and i don't mind!
@Angelgirl16 (2171)
• United States
31 Mar 11
A lie is not telling the truth about something; cheating, I will assume in a relationship, is when your partner is being intimate with another person, which could include lying about the cheating. I can forgive a lie about something but cheating with another person is unforgivable in my opinion.
I never understand cheating, cheating, to me, means that you want to be with someone else, okay; so, go be with the other person and leave me the heck along.
You don't want me, then I don't want you!!!! I really can be as simple as that...Sometimes.
Signs or lying and cheating from our partners are always in our faces, we just have to know our partners well enough to spot them.
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@natjohn20 (200)
• Philippines
30 Mar 11
No! I don't lie to my man, haha Seriously I lie to my girlfriend once in awhile but I never try to think on cheating her for another woman. We have been together for four years now, only white lies like telling her that I'm sleeping but actually I was watching T.V. I never lied to my girlfriend with great intensity because I always believe in Karma, whenever I lied to her (not white lies) I always experienced bad luck every time I do bad things, like lying.
@kheydia (882)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
my husband always sleep late at night it is his habit since computer was introduce into the world that means before i ever met him, but since he is already married i wanted him to sleep early like i wanted him to sleep at the same time when i sleep, but sometimes i feel so tired and feel so drowsy to wait for him, and i just wake in the morning asking him what time he sleep that night and he will answer at 11pm when sometimes he actually fall asleep at around 12 or 1am. that is just the lie he does.
@gleness1 (20)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
for me, to lie is to cheat, personally i don't even believe in white lies, after all its still a lie. men lie because they know if they'll tell the truth to their partner it may cause a heat-up, so to prevent any arguments better yet not to tell the truth, nevertheless this doesn't only apply to men, even women sometimes lie to their partner.
@judzcol (2)
• Philippines
31 Mar 11
Lying is like a saying goes " Once tasted always wanted". I did not lie to my man and so does he. From the beginning I already told him that I want an honest relationship or open/close relationship. What ever happen, been done, or going to do, were discussing it with an open mind.
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
30 Mar 11
I have been in a relationship with a habitual liar. This man would lie every single time he was confronted with any direct question. His "logic" was that, if he lied first, it gave him time to think of what his answer should have been. He would lie about anything - big or small - and I would always find out the truth in the end. He lied to me about some pretty critical things and it completely eroded my trust in him and in us as a couple. Lying cheats you out of the honesty and respect that should be in any strong relationship.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
30 Mar 11
I don't know if I would say a lie is cheating. A lie though can be very hurtful to the relationship. Especially if you do it over and over again. My husband has done this to me and right now things are not in a good spot with us. He would lie about stupid little stuff. Like he'd lie about smoking. He was trying to quit and admittedly I'd get upset when he'd do it. Mostly though because I'd find out about it later from someone else. But even after we'd talk about it and I'd explain how it hurts and I'd rather him just tell the truth he'd still do it. I started to wonder if he had to lie about stupid little stuff if he'd lie about bigger stuff like cheating. I understand the urge to lie to keep from getting into trouble but it usually backfires and ruins the relationship.
@NIECIE21 (365)
• United States
30 Mar 11
Do I think that lies are cheating? No. However, does it hurt to find out you were lied to? Yes. I think cheating is when the person forms a bond w/someone outside the relationship that is inapporate. Now, most of the times, when this happens, the person who did it will lie about it. But not all lies are wrong. Sometimes people will tell a white lie to not hurt someone's feelings (ie: No, you dont look like you have gained weight...when you have) I wouldnt say that its right to do that, but I also would not consider it cheating
@kingparker (9673)
• United States
30 Mar 11
I did lie sometimes, but that doesn't mean I am a cheater or anything like that. It was innocent, and not intention to hurt anyone's feeling. So, some lies are simply in good intention, and not in bad purpose though.
@AdalieM (1134)
• United States
30 Mar 11
a lie is never really good when you are in a relationship, most of the time it ends up hurting your feelings. If somebody lies all the time, makes me not to want to trust that person anymore. We all know about little white lies, like let's say is your birthday and I have to lie to you, so that way I can surprise you like never before, those type of lies are ok, but when the lies are to hurt the relationship, that's when one needs to draw the line when it comes to lying. I don't think is cheating, depends on the lie, but most men lie to their partners because of the thrills, they think they are having fun, especially when they are cheating on you with somebody else. There are many reasons why people lies, either we are afraid or we are just full of it.
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