Shocking! - Tell Me How You Would Do It...

Hi moirai and a warm welcome to you to myLot! Oh how I yelled listening to the show, I could not believe my ears. I was screaming things like how dare you Missy, she wiped your behind and helped you wipe your nose and this is the thanks your mother gets. Gosh how awful that some actually put money before a parent. So sad!

Hi penrockerchic! I couldn't in my wildest dreams be this harsh even to someone who was not my mother and or family member. Something about a parent sacrificing when she had the child would surely prompt me to do all I could for mine. The way the daughter was venting, really sounded completely stress out about having to help her mother which is why it caught my attention. Surely if it were me I would have sat with my mother and come up with a plan, but according to the ending of the show she said she was going to tell her mother to do this. *sad*

That is so sad. I couldn't imagine the daughter saying those words to her mom. That's just so cruel. The DJ should have at least stayed as neutral as possible other than telling someone to almost "disown" their own parent. Really really sad. What were they thinking?

You are right and I seriously cannot understand how any one even the worse person in the world could actually speak like this. I suppose they both forgot that someday they too will be elder. This kind of gives a glimpse the mentality of some parts of our world.

Well said topffer. My sentiments, exactly.

You know I will be trying again to even voice my opinion, how can anyone even surmise it is okay to air something like this, is beyond me.

Hi topffer! I agree and you should have heard me yelling while listening to the show, I tried to call but the lines were busy for over an hour. Here you can retire but you must have worked with eligible benefits to receive the Social Security benefits. So I afraid she does not have them. I believe in karma and surely he has a life outside of the radio station, so he is not obsolete to the fact that he too one day will be elder.

Absolutely. She should have offered her mother a place to live. That way, they'll combine their income and instead of paying two bills of everything, it will be one bill. Then she probably would not have to 'help her out'. We should respect our parents. We have no idea how much they have sacrificed for us. I cannot tally all my mother's sacrifices. If I have to pay everything for her for the rest of her life, it probably will not be enough to scratch the surface of what she has done for me. And that is not to mention the emotional stuff I must have put her through. What disturbed me most is that she does not appreciate what she has. She did not realise that just having a 'mother' is a blessing that many don't have.

The radio station has always been a reputable one that discusses day to day issues and now they are not answering the phones and only playing music. They never play music so I believe someone is getting a meeting about the situation. But you are right! I can't imagine sleeping at night watching if it were my mother going through something like this let alone having to go to school. The poor woman is probably crying her eyes out that this is the daughter who she has raised.

Hi zralte! 'Come off it....get off your lazy bum and work two jobs if necessary to provide for your mother' Oh my Gosh those are the perfect words for the situation. I could not take it I wanted to take the radio and toss it out the window. You are right she wiped and clean her to say the least and one year, for Christ sake. Here I am thinking the mother could move in with her to save to some money, but also to include what you said, mother should move in with her and yes the daughter should get two jobs. It is our duty and responsibility!! zralte, even I know this and not being raised by my own mother. So to hear this, it is unbearable!

Hi aeiou78! Although not a rule here in the US it certainly would be the moral thing to do for parents as they get older. I have no clue why in this case it is an exception. The DJ did not misunderstand because the daughter was very clear with her queries. Sadly for us listeners had to bear the pain this will cause the mother. It is unimaginable that anyone would think this would be a solution. I tried calling for an hour but it appears that many were as outraged as I was and the lines were busy. Also it is a station that only does discussions about day to day issues and never play music. Since the show they are only playing music and no one today is answering phones. I am hoping the offer a public apology because I can't believe the daughter aired this to the public. She not only should be ashamed of having called but the thought that she does not want to help her mother.

Hi ajk111! Hope you are still enjoying the Lot! lol I know what you mean. I was outraged listening to them on the radio. I immediately picked up the phone and tried for an hour but the lines were so busy I could not get through. I was livid with the DJ but then I was upset with the daughter for having called and airing out her mothers situation. You so not publicize this sort of stuff publicly, is so wrong. I would have preferred she call and say we can't afford to eat and we need help. This is a reputable radio station and many of us would have extended help. Unfortunately there are more like her out in the world today and sadly it will continue from generation to generation. I am pleased with the responses I received in myLot because many are appalled with this too, which means there are far more caring people in the world!

I do agree that it would probably only add additional burden in the long run, especially given the mother's age. I hate to keep pointing that out, but she'd be taking on the responsibility and stress of schooling on top of additional financial responsibility. Ant at her age its going to be difficult to find a job when the schooling is done. I like your idea of them moving in together, I think it would ease the burden from both. I'm wondering if there is a reason the mom only works part-time. Maybe her physical health doesn't allow it. or her mental health?

Hi earthsong! You are saying all the right things here for sure. Boy do I know about student loans I owe 140K myself and am unemployed. There is no realistic way possible this poor mother will have any guarantees that returning to school is going to resolve her issues. If anything it will add to more of the burden and possible debt. My thinking would have been more towards the both of them living under one roof to save on the expenses. Maybe mother has some skill like sewing, cooking, errands, etc.. that mother could add or maybe the daughter temporarily could get a part-time job until some of the debts were lowered. It all boils down to be human and caring enough to sacrifice for someone you love. Thanks for responding.

I wonder that also because she never accomplished a high school certificate and has never worked enough for social security retirement benefits. So the both of them perhaps together can probably work/ease this burden. She would have been better off calling the station asking for help. It is a reputable radio station and many would have offered food, clothing and a little monetary donation. Sadly that sometimes money is given more importance then the love for a family member. We could have advised state aid. More then likely she would be eligible for the minimal $200 food monthly allowance. Sometimes people don't think and instead deploy their anger and that is no way to come up with solutions, especially when it comes to family.

Hi cream! This was a talk radio were they discuss specifically day to day issues. It is normally well respected and this took me for a shock! I am sure it took many also because I tried calling for an hour and I kept getting busy signal and now they have a voice mail so I am sure there is some havoc. The poor woman has not worked enough to be eligible for Social Security, this is why she works such a low paying job because she has no skill either. I am sure she did not plan her life this way but the daughter repays her this way is despicable to say the least. I am sure the radio station is going to be under great scrutiny over it. I mean if it were the 32 year old who the situation was reversed then I could understand it. Like zralte says above the daughter needs to get off her behind and get two jobs to help her mother. Unreal cream but some parts of world live this way, with no heart.

that is good.

Thats absurd. "What goes around comes around." Just wait till shes 61

The mother needs to get her GED. That is a start. It can be done through adult education classes. Moving in with the daughter may or may not be a wise move. If she hasn't worked enough quarters to qualify for SS, what about drawing on her husband or ex husband's benefits?

Hello my fellow myLotters and thank you for responding! The mother unfortunately never worked enough to accumulate social security which makes her financial situation even worse. The DJ was very unreasonable especially when he heard the daughter say that the 61 year old mother works part-time. So it is not like she is sitting doing nothing. It is a very sad situation for the mother and personally the daughter should take the mother to live with her and that would cut down expenses. There are many ways the mother can add a few more dollars, such things like sewing, cooking, sell things, running errands etc. etc.. Ways that including a loan would not be feasible to her currently financial debt. The mother does not have a high school diploma so she would have to start from the ground up. Doing that means she is not employable for 4 - 5 years maybe and realistically who will hire an almost 70 year old to a top notch position with so many 25 years old out of work. I have a master degree and the company I was working for closed and I am unemployed, with a hard time finding work.

i completely agree with you. in this situation i think that maybe the dj was just trying to stir a reaction. the more memorable the dj is to his audience, whether positive or negative, the more listeners he'll have!

Thank you for your blessings...and yes all is well I hope all is well with you too!

Hi alottodo! I am sorry to hear of your mothers passing. My sincerest condolences. This whole situation I was listening to is completely unimaginable for any human being to be voicing. I could not believe my ears. I am glad you and your siblings made sure your mother received all the help and support she needed and deserved. It is the least we can do as their children and as human beings. This story brings up so many emotions and sadly this 32 year old is no exception. I am glad to read so many caring people on myLot understand that we only have one life and that life is attributed to the love of a mother. Let's face it women today have choices to keep or keep a child and to have raised one goes beyond anything in this world. Thanks for sharing your story about how wonderful you and your siblings took care of your mother. Because of your caring nature I am sure your children would also take care of you. Many blessings to you alottodo and hope all is well with you.

Thank you alottodo all is well, I see you are at yellow star, so I have rated each of your responses. Hope to get that star to budge!

I think to myself often while I am at work, you reap what you sow. I work in a nursing home and sometimes remind the young women who work as caregivers, that someday they will be in those beds waiting on someone to take them to the bathroom. My mother passed away in 1994. My father in 1999.

Oh debra I am sorry about the loss of both your parents. My sincerest condolences. I have often said that it takes very unique and caring individuals to work as caregivers. You working in this field and reminding the youth of such is a true blessing and honorable thing for the elders. I am sure they can see how wonderful you are. Sadly youth today does not appreciate life. Tomorrow is not promises and why not make the best of it. It takes absolutely no effort to love.

Hi debrakcarey! Wonderful I am happy to hear that you immediately took the initiative to take care of your mother at a time of her health issues. I hope she is doing okay? You are so right about responsibility and accountability. Some how I don't understand and or fathom how anything in life can super-cede love. I am extremely applaud that she even called the radio station. This is a very serious and private matter. Had she called asking for help that would have been thing but what I heard was she wanted justification for what she has already been contemplating. No way on earth would I even imagine hurting a parent especially at a time of their need. I would have certainly understood if she would have called and begged for money and or food. But it was not the case. Shame she does not remember that one day, hopefully she too will be 61. *sad*

It is truly the right thing to do. I can't imagine doing what this DJ recommended. Too sad!

You're right, HWG! My mom's 52nd birthday is coming up and if ever she came into a situation like that, I would try my best for her. Just thinking of how she tried her best for me.

Bad DJ...

Hi sswallace! It is because you have moral values and love your mother. Shame and pity that greed for money super-cede these days and logic cannot kick in. Quite sad really that the mother did not have an opportunity in life to have perhaps made herself independent. But I can bet that nothing in this world comforted her more then being a mother.

Sadly this daughter does not see it this way. I hope she realizes it soon because mother will not be around for many longer years and the daughter may end up with regrets and no second chance.

I bet you are right. It is sad to think that the daughter is that ungrateful. You would think, she would take into consideration what her mother gave up to raise her children. It was a huge and I'm sure she loved every minute of it.

@dlpierce, I love it. Great response to tell the young one to get the education she needs to help her mom. This is so foreign to me. Our family has always been the type to share whatever we have, and make it work.

Hi dlpierce and a warm welcome to you to myLot! All of your questions are my same thoughts too. It would make sense to move the mom in and together that would save expenses. At 61 sounds like the mother can do a great variety of things to earn some additional money. I am with on this I do hope the daughter did not go and say that to her mother because not only is it unrealistic it also is ridiculous, lol to think that at 61 she can start earning a GED then going on to getting a career education. I do hope to see you around the Lot and have fun!

Thank-you. I'm liking myLot so far. It gives one a lot to think about.

I suspect the mother may have been been a housewife for most of her life and why she has no skills and can't draw SS. This is awful. This should be a lesson to women out there that you need to get some skills and make your own money and you can't rely on anyone one else, not a man or the government to take care of you. This is a sad situation. If it wasn't for the daughter this woman would be out on the street with nothing. In that case the daughter needs to be the one to take care of her mother since she really has no other resources.

Here, here dreamy! This should absolutely be a lesson for women who do not consider their own futures! Love is absolutely wonderful, if and when one as a woman loves herself first.

Hi dreamy1! Gosh wished you could have been on the line with the DJ and the daughter, you could have told them a thing or two it is so despicable. Unfortunately she has not worked enough in her life to draw Social Security benefits. The advice given by this DJ was unrealistic to say the least. Seriously how on earth can she handle that she would have to start from basic general courses, which by the way she never completed high school it was outright ridiculous and I tried calling for almost an hour and the lines were busy. This is a very reputable radio station and to be honest she should not have called and aired her mothers situation. She and the DJ both should ashamed of themselves. I was outraged and was yelling at the radio. I cannot fathom how inhumane this all sounded. Sad part about it was that she agreed and said she was going to tell her mother to do this I was beside myself. All your recommendations are warranted and or I certainly being in her shoes would bring mother to my home and if I had to work two jobs I would do that as opposed to causing her any heart aches.

You're welcome. I guess there are some simple things some old people can earn money from. Like earning from a hobby they love pretty much. No so much skill is required and just the love of doing it will do fine, like baking stuff, knitting, photography, cooking, collecting something, and who knows really how far that goes. I know a few senior people who does those stuff and are actually earning.

Hi wolveren! You are so right that not only was she listening and taking advice from the wrong person but how on earth does she think this is good solid advice. It is unthinkable for anyone to feel that at perhaps 70, when she completes an education she will be able to start a life. It is unrealistic and sad all in one. It is okay to work at an older age however no way anyone can start building a career at that age, because realistically who will actually hire a 70 year old with no work life experience in a new career. The things people say sometimes are dumbfounding to say the least. Thank for responding.

That really shameful to him. Because she advice an unnecessary words to the old lady. He must learn something to respect people and most especially old...

I agree with you 100% and hope he remembers that one day he too will be old. Hopefully his later years will not be as depressing as this woman.

Hi aerous! Yeah my feelings exactly. How can anyone in their rightful mind think to say something like that. The right to have said was remember she took care of you so it is time you took care of her. Being that the mother is still working part-time she could actually move her mother in with her and together they could get past it. Unfortunately the DJ found it necessary to be mean and nasty. Shame too, one day her mother will not be around and I hope she then does not live with regrets.

I agree I would tell the daughter to shape up and get real!

Hi nishant5n I can't begin to explain how irate I was listening to this. It appeared the daughter was truly stressed out about her financial situation and was truly looking for a way out of her current situation. Such a shame really to have even called the radio. A home's crisis should never be discussed in public. As good human beings we are suppose to do everything possible to help and assist our loved ones and a mother gosh the daughter appears to have forgotten that if it were not for the mother she would not have her life. I am extremely appalled. Applaud because the fact that I never had a mother and can't fathom someone who does not appreciating the gift of life. Money comes and goes but a mother/father when gone is such a valuable loss. I agree with you regarding the daughter furthering her own skills. At 32 she has a long life ahead of her, and opportunities to earn so I have no ides the mentality of someone like this. Funny today as well, the radio station on a daily basis discusses day to day issues and never music they are still not answering phone calls and are only playing music, I am assuming they will be issuing a public apology. Which I hope, I also hope like any caring human beings that maybe they will allow us to send food and donations for the mother, to show our support. I don't have much but I would be supporting somehow because the poor woman at 61 does not deserve to now be burdened and put into a deep depression over her daughter's actions. Sadly there are people like this, I am sure she is not an exception, which makes for so much family destruction. I have received a great many responses here of many not in agreement of this type of action which tells me there are far more who are caring and loving towards there parents/mothers.

Hi chaze01 and a warm welcome to you to myLot! It is truly inhumane and I don't even think dogs/pets react this way. Where are the moral values in people today. Shame that they cannot see past money and greed. I truly hope the mother will be okay, 61 is still not that old so I am sad to think heavy depression can kick in at this age. Truly heartless.

I do hope the mother can overcome her issues, shame that she has come this far at age 61 and be treated as if she has no self worth. It is unfortunate that life sometimes does not allow a woman to independent better her life. There is absolutely no telling what the future holds and to be unprepared like this is so sad for her. Even more sadly that the mother does not have her daughter to speak with. I assume she does not because I would think the daughter would have done so with the mother and not with a stranger on the radio. I do hope the mother in the end somehow can restore whatever, lacked with this daughter's lack of appreciation. Thanks so much for responding and see you around the Lot!

Thank you for the welcome hardworkinggurl! I know 61 is not that old, but at these times when the market is so fickle and competitive this would put you at a disadvantage. Just think of how many companies would actually give a job to 61 years old when there are a lot of 20-30 year old they can hire. Yeas I just hope that the mother did not actually hear that segment. Or she was listening at the radio, lets just pray she did not recognize her daughter's voice and just thought it was a rambling of a selfish lunatic.

Hi xalltimelowx and a warm welcome to you to myLot! I agree with you one hundred percent. I cannot fathom to think that this advice given is reasonable. I have a masters degree and am unemployed and am way younger then this mother. You are so right when you say that the lack of money is changing people, sad too because family cannot be replaced with money. I do hope the mother can find some resolution and that her daughter helps her some how. Have fun on the Lot and I hope to see you around.

Hi yes that means how many times I participated and all done in 7 months time. lol That does not even include the hundreds that were deleted. I spend a lot of time helping new members knowing very well the post is going to be deleted. But I do it because I and many others too, so that new members continue on the right road and be successful too. Do keep in mind that when you start discussions you have to comment back to the members not doing so you are not earning. Key on myLot to remember is I type, I earn. You type you earn. Starting discussions will only increase your points if you comment back to one member or two members respond to your discussion. You earn but the point in starting discussions does not increase. You points increase as you are responding to a discussions. Best of luck and it is not hard at all, if you get involved in discussion you will be surprise how fast time flies and how much fun it is.

thanks for the welcome! i appreciate it. im trying to figure out exactly how this all works lol. out of curiosity, is that number 15481 the times you have posted?! thats crazy!!!