He Had No Money to Make a Wedding

I've always been under the impression that big weddings are just for show. I was engaged at seventeen and planned to marry at twenty-one. My then-fiancee had a job as a retail clerk, and at the time I was making very good money with the real estate business I'd started two years earlier. My problem with a big wedding was that I'd pay a whole bunch of money for one day...and why? How is it going to be more enjoyable? Money doesn't make things good or happy, it makes them complicated! Yeah, I made good money, but I was putting the extra I had in a retirement account by the time I was nineteen, and I didn't want to dip into that for one day. It was an idiotic idea (although many people would do this). I wanted a small wedding, and I informed my parents I'd be marrying at twenty rather than a year after. (They had told me years earlier that I needed to wait until two years into college to get married...but because I had already picked my career, this was ridiculous.) Two years into college, I dropped out because I still didn't want to be there, and my fiancee and I worked on understanding what we wanted for our wedding within the year. A VERY small wedding (I wanted five people at most, Tim couldn't narrow the list down that far), held at the park where we'd had our first date. Before long, the wedding planning turned into my mom's job, and not with my consent. Suddenly, I "couldn't" wear a wedding dress that wasn't white. Yes, I was a virgin, but I'm also a person who's into crazy colors (our bedroom now is bright lime green, to make a point). I simply "couldn't" invite this person and not another. My response to my mom was, "Screw it, I'm eloping so you can't have a say in the matter." A little over two years ago, I was married to the only man I can imagine loving in a bright turquoise dress at the park that meant something to us. The minister was the only one there with us, and including paying him to do the wedding, we spent a little over $200. My dress was $20, the minister was $175, and we bought sand ceremony canisters and sand for $30. And guess what? The day went by in a breeze, but that was okay. I'd wanted to be married to that man for four years by that point. It was a dreary early spring day, but it was the perfect day. No, we didn't have a wedding party, a reception, or anything else...yet, it was perfect. We were us, how we'd always been, and not to please other people. My husband wore his Chuck Taylor's, because I've never seen him wear anything else. I wore a bright turquoise dress because I hate white, even though I was a virgin. Money doesn't make the wedding...having it as yourselves and for yourselves makes the perfect wedding. I'd say that if you want a wedding over $1000, you're not having it for you. I couldn't have imagined spending over $300.

Hi redvakaurvaki, a very warm welcome to myLot. I don't know what the big deal is about wedding and having a party. Sure, it is good if you can afford it. I had a simple wedding, got married in a Registrar's office and afterwards a small party in my in-laws house. We meant to do in secret, no party, just a wedding ceremony with two of our friends as witnesses. My husband's grandmother found it out when she opened my husband's mail, and they have given us a small party with last minute preparation. I would have been happy not to have the party. That is not to say I do not wish to have a big wedding. I do want to, it's just that I could not afford one.

It is as simple as simply get married. Being married does not mean you have to have a big party and spend a bunch of money. There are SOME girls who want a big, even small, wedding. That they have planned since they were a little girl, with the dress and the cake, and all that happiness. Then there are other girls that they are just simply in love and they do not care about all the "extra" stuff that comes along with getting married. My husband and I are an example of this. We wanted to be married, and did not have the money to have a wedding. So, we went and got our marriage license, went to the justice of the peace and in front of both our parents and siblings we were married. Then the next weekend we had a party at our house. We had food and what not that our parents prepared, but it was still BYOB because we couldn't afford anything else. And our families all came and had a great time. It was just a big fire and celebration with all of our families together. It wasn't expensive and it made us both happy. Now I"m not saying every person would want to do it that way either, but money is defianlty not everything. If they truly want to be married, money shouldn't be a problem. They could always get married and save to have a ceremony later. I think that as long as people love each other, it doesn't matter how the person is married.

When two people really loved each other,they have to think about their family's future (kids) If the man doesn't have enough money to make a wedding celebration,it means,he doesn't have enough savings to start a family. What if after the wedding,just months later the wife becomes pregnant,how can they stand to raise a kid without any savings. They might still be paying the debts they owe for that wedding celebration. So,better let the man save first..forget the wedding celebration. Save enough money for a family starter. it doesn't matter if the wedding celebration is simple...they can marry without any celebration anyway. They can go to legal proceedings and have themselves married...and save the wedding celebration money for their future. Welcome to myloy and hope you enjoy mylotting

First thing and foremost a good relationship must start with understanding. A girl must understand that her boyfriend can't afford a wedding party that is if she really love her boyfriend,and if she must also understand the consequences after marriage. same to her boyfriend, he must also understand that marriage is not that easy just like chewing bubble gum and if you don't like it anymore you just have to throw it. People go for marriage just to stay away from their problems and without thinking they just go for another problem

I would really want a wedding party of my own. If he says he doesn't have any money then it doesn't have to be that grand. Learn how to work with in a budget and bride should also pay for the wedding. It should be 50-50. And there are a lot of ways where you can save money like asking a friend or a family member to shoulder your shoes or other stuff, by doing this your are cutting down expenses.

Traditionally it was always the bride's father who footed the bill but you don't need to have a big expensive celebration. If you both want to get married then go ahead and do it and forget about all of the expensive trimmings. My parents married in 1940 when my father was in the army on active war service. He came home of leave, got married and then returned to his unit when his leave was up. They had very little money, but neither that or the war stopped them from marrying.

A wedding is just a ceremony. If he has no money to wed, do away with it until he has the money. One consideration would be he has money to survive. If yes, then it is still fine else if you need to support him, I guess it is better off without him.

I think the marriage should wait til he can afford to cover expenses himself. Barrowing will only lead to a debt. If there are already problems marriage does not solve problems. Just makes more. Suppose he gets married with barrowed money then a unexpected pregnancy occurs. Then what he barrows money to cover baby expense??? Making even bigger debt??? To solve problems first get better job or a second job to afford his own marriage.

No doubt, a woman would want a wedding. There is its own prestige to women. But sometimes, the women forget the meaning of marriage itself. What is important in marriage, his marriage is valid under the law and religion, was the most important. The wedding will only waste money. Instead, the money for the party, can be used for other purposes.

I simply don't believe in living or being together before marriage. SO.... I would either have a tiny small wedding, and have people bring their own food (I've seen this done), or I would hold off on the wedding, and save money like crazy. If I had a girl worth marrying... then she's also worth waiting for. I'll wait until I have the money, and I'll be working like crazy to get the money.

Nowadays we should be more practical. A simple and very private wedding with just your family and very close friends will be fine. It's not right spending a lot for the wedding and having a lot of debts after because of the luxurious celebration. If we can afford to have that without borrowing money from people then that's okay. If we can't afford then it's always the best to just have a simple wedding celebration. What matters is you love each other and will be responsible adults for your children.

Have a civil wedding and just save the amount allotted for the church wedding so that you have something to start with in your own family future preparation. Now a days, it is so hard to earn a living. What is expensive wedding afterwards you will strive so hard to put up again what has been poured to that occasion. It is crazy to start your family in debt. What matters most is to have a harmonious relationship free of worries.

hi,redvakaurvaki,i know a lot of people in your situaton,whose girfriend&boyfriend is not rich and they have a long time's relationship ,when it come to marriage,cause the girl's boyfriend have nothing to afford,then her parents will not easily approve this marriage,for they feel worried about handing over their beloved daughter to a man who can't give she happiness.but it depennds,if you love each other then nothing could set you apart.wedding party could be simple,and he can be poor,it doesn't matter as long as you two mutually cherish each,i think the wealth will find you...

I would wait till we have enough money to make the party as we dream of. it's important but it's not the most important thing. it's not like we aren't going to pay the bills because we have to have a wedding party NOW...this could wait till have have a better financial situation

To me, a wedding is the most important thing to me. Ever since I was a kid, I have dreams and fantasies about my dream wedding. I even created a scrapbook with the wedding dresses and bridesmaid dresses and the cake designs, and all the other cool things weddings involved. But, if I found my groom to be and he has everything that I want a man to have then I will deal with it and cough in some money to help him out, cause he doesn't have to wear himself out in buying everything for the wedding. I'll even ask my parents for some money.

Hi there, Welcome to myLot. I got married a year ago and we had a very lavish wedding ceremony. We spent a fortune for our wedding..Most of the cost was borne by our parents but both of us did fair bit of contribution to it. There was no need for such a big ceremony but our parents wanted to make it perfect for us because both of us are the eldest ones in our families. I absolutely loved my wedding. But if we were not in a state to spend all this money, I definitely would have had a small ceremony with only close friends and relatives. For me being with my hubby is more important than having a huge ceremony.

what you should do is to have patient that seen both of you are serious relationship God will provide both of you should be patient as they say a patient dog eat the fattest bone

Weddings should be prepared in advance and you must have the financial backing to spend it, weddings are extravagant and it needs a lot of preparation.

I think that a wedding party or even a fancy party isn't really that important to me just as long as we love each other.