My best friend made me feel distant...

Hello Eileen, People do Change from time to time. I think she should have JUST understand you knowing you got other plans and she was not prioritize. she kinda thought to herself as a VIP of some sort. People who live in the States do change and i can tell it from my relatives there, they're not the same people when they came back from the states. I felt sad and seriously upset reading you're discussion. but i can say, am blessed for not having a bestfriend because i don't want to feel this way if they change and treat me different. Have a nice day.

I have been into a similar situation. I believe people do change and no matter how much you have been through the past years, at times people change and those change often create a distance I have this "bestfriend" before and we grew up together, since we were both neighbors and our parents are also close friends from birth till high school we really grew up together, from first menstrual period to first crushes hahaha it was that close but when we both got into college and she went to another school, we still did hang out but it was different because we got demanding courses and we rarely see each other and she became a nurse and is now working abroad for the past 3 years and just last year she went home and she called me and we both met..she gave me gifts and stuff..but it already felt different because while i was telling her about things and about life here, it was like she was in another space, busy with her blackberry and just plain distant.. It was sad because it is like something inevitable. Maybe the distance did create a factor, with her working overseas and having another set of friends.. but i got to accept all of that and i believe people do change.

That is sad, but it does happen that we grow apart. Sometimes we are better online friends than we are in person, because of the distances involved.

That is sad! I can't imagine how you must feel. I know that my best friend has changed a lot since high school, but I think that we could still have fun together. I am hoping for a visit with her soon. She lives her life alot different from my own, but it would still be nice to see her and her family. We do still talk quite often.

hi eileen, it must have felt very awkward. i guess you just have to talk one of these days and reach out to clear this gap forming between you two. maybe she wasnt expecting a no from you then when she requested. well, nothing will be understood unless you two talk heart to heart. ann

Distance and a different lifestyle can change person. It seem the bond you and your best friend one had has is broken. It seem both you all do not share the same common interest anymore.

A lot of times even when people are being like this it could be time and distance, but a lot of it also could be her family. Maybe they are afraid to allow her to have friends especially from before she was Married. Sometimes they fear that this could make them miss their old life and be too unhappy. But it sounds like they are controlling her a little and hope she is Happy for sure.

Hi! I think what she did to you was not a welcome sign. She should not have done like and should have shown more patience in staying up with you. She needs to have some empathy and should have felt herself in your shows before showing her resentment. I think this experience taught you a lesson that even best friends could behave oddly at times.

Sorry to say I think many have experienced this as well. Someone you were very close to some time ago even if you still keep in touch a small amount they change as you change. I'm sorry her visit isn't what you had hoped for. I hope there is further explaination given later as to what was going on. Otherwise I would not worry about it and just assume she's not the person you knew before and as more of an aquaintance than a close friend.

hi eileenleyva I know what you mean. as a kid my best friend and I just did every thing together hiking, biking , taKing picnic lunches.we were friends all through high school then she went one way and I another. when I had been married for a number of years she stopped by to see me when we lived in Tustin Ca and like yours she only spent maybe an hour. all that way from South Dakota to Ca and she cou ld not spend a few hours with me.She found out I had changed political parties and that upset her.she was still a republican, I did not get upset over that but she bawled me out for not being a staunch republican .but about two or three years ago she tracked me down cause she finally got on a computer a lap top;. aNd we have been emailing each other every day and its really fun as long as I do not mention I voted for Obama. I should not do this on mylot either As I doubt there are any democrats here.sad to see our best friends being stand offish.what is it about politics today that have even good mylotters ranting at each other? we are all ameriAns

I think you are very disappointed because you may feel your best fiend to becaome another person. When two people are not keep in contact. We may found that there are distance between us. I keep contact to my best friend about 2-3 months a times because she is very busy in her business. She is married and has 2 childrens but I still not. There are different situations between us. Our distance will become more large. So don't worry! Try to talk to your friend your feeling. Maybe she also feel that.

She changed, as well as u. Both of u has got family now, and things can't be the same like the past. U need not feel sorry or feel distant, because u have to be responsible for the family and kids. It's not as if u are single, able to go anywhere u want to. If she's your best friend, she should know your difficulties and not force u to accompany her.

Just wondering Ms. Eileen, is it really your friend or the husband who's making the friendship at a distance?Maybe when she asked you to go with her for a visita Iglesia that's the only time she could be reconnected to you again and maybe the only time she could tell you what she is going through. This is a sad thing but maybe there's something wrong not with the friendship but maybe in the situation she is in, just my opinion. Well, hopefully someday you will have a chance to open up to her about your feeling and know her side of the story.

In my opinion, this new change in her has occurred only because of her marriage. She has entered a new world now. I think you should understand her and the situation that she is going through right now instead of feeling bad about it. You, being her best friend should not react like this.

Oh my god, i know exactly how you must be feeling, its so terrible.People change and it hits really hard because you never expected this much change.I will suggest that you distance yourself from her and try not to think about her and keep minimal contact with her.It hurts like someone has stabbed a sword and wound keeps on paining and your heart feels heavy.Try to concentrate on your family who cares for your happiness.

For me yes because she live far apart in your home.

Times apart and distance usually causes a gap among our relatives or other relationships. It is advisable that though we got separated from our friends, we keep a constant communication with them. If you feel this way, then you have a lot of catching up to do. Don't hesitate to give her tokens or send her text messages while she is there. Bring out old photos of happy memories together. It will remind her of your happy times together. Try to woo her back. And if in the end, she is still indifferent towards you, at least you've given your best to be in touch with your friend. Cheer up.