Can people we love be users?

The more you do for them, the more they demand of you. And yes, the people you love will take the most advantage and know they can get away with it. It's hard to learn to say no sometimes.

Yes, its really possible. They would take advantage of your kindness if you tolerate them. Well if they asks you a favor you say its fine, after you gave your help, theres no thanks and you just shrugged it off. They would think that its ok with you not to hear anything from them. For them everything is fine with you because your kind, understanding blah blah. You need to talk back. Say your feelings if you didnt hear any thank you, simply say so do i deserve a crisp thank you? Say it as if your joking or mocking. For sure your loved ones will realized that you ought to have one.

its a reality.. it will happen, and i know it is happening to everyone. people are maybe, just born to be like that.. we tend to do things we do not mean to, or maybe someone is just born to be a user.. just to get anything they want in their life. use people to get to where they want to be... even our families... and relatives. i think most of the time, it is even our relatives who would take advantage the most.

hi eileen, I totally understand what you felt some of our relatives are like that what worst is they are going to borrow money from my mom and they will not pay it i mean debt is a debt besides mom work hard for it seems they have no plans of paying their debt, if they borrow our car they act as if they own it darn those people i really hate this kind of attitude. They even doesn't know how to say thank you and if my mom says NO they are going to spread a rumor how selfish we are me and mom have a debate before regarding of her being a good samaritan of course their our relatives but how can they stand at their own if they always think mom is just there besides those people doesn't know what gratitude is. Sometimes we have our limitations if you are nice to them they are going to abuse you hope you are fine now

ofcourse. :(

They've grown dependent on you because of you're nature, which is so "giving". They "need" you and you give. It's something to cheer about because it only proves that you're a good person but you also have to set boundaries to avoid being "used".

To your question, no. No one can abuse us. No way should we allow anyone to abuse us. I feel you are too kind and people just take you for granted. If it is no convenient, learning to say No is also a great feat. Your friends should not be offended just because you say NO. They will be unreasonable if they cannot take NO for your answer.

Sometimes they became user in their needs and personal needs. And in this situation somebody tried to tell a lie just for their needs until they abuse others or friends or cousins.It is always happend.

you should tell your friends and ask her what happen with your car eileen. once they do this to you and you never complained it they will do it again one way to stop it is only making a deep communication with her and tell her how disappointed you are about your vehicle.

It has happened to me! My parents did take advantage of me when growing up! So has my sister! Friends have ,too! With friends who did are no longer my friends! With my parents they didn't do you job as good as they did and that is how I know they took advantage of me! Then they won't listen to me and make feel like an adult when I got my first car and when I wanted to pay car insurance! The insurnce thing took longer then getting the car under my name! With my sister she has always wanted me to be closer then we are. Every time I have tried she pushs me away! her problems and life don't have room for me! This the way I have been taken advantage by loved ones!

We caan give anyone the ability to use us if we allow it to happen. even the people we love csn be guilty of this. it is because we love them that we don't alawaya see that we are being used before it is too late.

Yes, i agree. People who are closer to us, tend to take us for granted. It's the truth because between family members, we should not be calculative towards each other. Besides, it's awkward to confront them when things goes wrong as we have to see each other again. With that advantage, people whom made mistakes will simply keep quiet, or acknowledge their fault after being questioned. WHereas for some, they will not admit it at all cost and even blame it on us. I really hate those kind of people.

There are really those who are wearing invisible hard vest and bullet proof helmets and ear plugs as they request for something for they are afraid to be hit back by their actions. They should think first and have to be in the position of the one whom they are asking the favors, are they going to do the same. Well, you should be polite instead by saying, thanks for filling my tank and you gave me an idea that I can run a lipat-bahay business with my vehicle.

Yes, I am in the same situation a year ago. One of my friend even ask me if she can borrow some money and return it the next day. Since I feel for her, I lend her some but eventually she forgot it and never payed me back.

Oh yes they can. I had a recent incident with a friend. She is a working woman and has two kids....both around the same age as my boys...but hers are girls. Well,she always asks me for help and most of the time I oblige even when I have to go out of my way for it. I do get thanks for it....and I never expected anything in return. The girls are like my kids and most of the time it is short notice babysitting or helping her out with stuff....working out timings with the household help...etc. Recently, she asked me for a favour and I said it wasn't possible for me to do it on a daily basis because I couldn't work it around my schedule (which was changing on a daily basis due to summer vacations). On a Tuesday,she asks me if I could do it on Monday,Tuesday and Thursdays (as a favour).I tell her that Thursdays are not possible since I have a crazy schedule that day but I'm willing to 'adjust' for her on Mondays and Tuesdays. On Wednesday, as I was planning, how to go about it on Mon and Tues, she calls asking me to adjust that day since she had to go to her daughter's school. I replied that I would do it but I don't think this 'adjusting' was going to work. Didn't discuss it since I thought she would be busy....but she ended up not going to the school AFTER taking the favour. Thursday she calls up saying I am supposed to be 'adjusting' and how come I am not. I tell her I had already told her that Thursdays are busy for me and that I can't adjust...but she chooses the 'busy Thursday' to discuss it and I was getting irritated. Conversation closes with 'Thursday is busy but I need to adjust all the other days!'. I didn't have the time to argue and she had the last word. On Friday, she COMES OVER asking how come I'm not 'adjusting'.....and said I was taking out my personal frustrations on her. This got me really really mad at her. And I did raise my voice explaining to her (but I didn't say anything mean unless you call telling her that I can't 'adjust'....as mean...which is what she did). Well, long story short....we now have a strained friendship and she thinks its all my fault because I didn't help her as a friend. She's forgotten all the times that I've helped her and that I don't ask her for any help at all and all I was doing was being open and honest. Oh well....what else to say....lost a friend. My sister would 'use' me too. But now that she is grown up and understands, she has stopped it.

Yes, people we love can be users. We allow them to be. It is too bad, but no is very hard to say. It seems that for some people, "Thank You" and "May I reimburse for your gas" are also hard things to say. They are so lucky you have such a nice spacious vehicle. What would they have done without you? Why did they not think ahead?

Yes they can abuse us. We always need to be on our guard. Your friend doesn't sound like a very good friend if she behaves in this way. You need to be strong and tell them no. When you do not want to do something don't let people walk all over you. You have to be responsible and take a stand.

that's the main reason why I am cautious regardless new or old friends, friendship or love because when I like or love someone, I go the extra mile to please them and more often than not, they don't do the same for me so now whenever I am not prepared, I will say No or I will only give what I want (not can) give at the time Long silence, not even thanks? then next time, definitely give them a No

Hello Eileen , I don't know the situation or how the bond of friendship between you and this person emerge. like my mom, i know you just want to be a good christian and help out. but of course, that is your choice and free will if you still want to help despite the uneasiness that you felt to this person. You can always so No, most specially when it is impossible to help that person. maybe you can test her in some way, but i can't advise you on that. I, myself can never determine if the person is a friend or simply just being friendly to you so that she / he can use you for their own benefit. But I know God himself sees your good deeds. if this so called friends of yours turned their backs or back stab you, maybe you can leave it to GOD. the important thing is you did something good.