Does your spouse hugs you to sleep?
By gicolet
@gicolet (1702)
United States
May 2, 2011 11:10am CST
I don't know if I'm the only one not comfortable about it but I really don't like my husband hugging me to sleep. I know he's just being loving and cuddly but the thing is it's hard for me to fall asleep when his arms are all over me. My neck gets sore. I just want to lay there and fall asleep with my pillow quietly. Plus, he snores big time! I've already told him about this nicely a couple of times before but I think I kind of hurt his feelings. I love my husband but I need some good sleep. He wasn't like this before...he only started doing this about a year ago. I'm miserable and can't really focus every morning cause of lack of good sleep, and then whenever he wants to take a nap he calls me sounding sorry that i didn't get to sleep well the night before so he would ask me to take a nap with him. It's no use cause guess what happens? He does the same thing and I'm getting mad!!! :(
What about you? Does your spouse or significant other hugs you to sleep? Does it bother you or not?
5 people like this
16 responses
@victoracostajr101 (42)
• United States
6 May 11
When i lived with a girlfriend, she couldn't fall asleep without me wrapped around her. i didnt like it much but
its what had to be done to get her to stop talking and fall asleep. once she was asleep i would unwrap myself and
that was that. Maybe try letting him until he falls asleep; get up to go to the restroom or something, when you get back, he'll be asleep and most likely will care less about hugging and you can probably get some sleep. thats just my idea, good luck!
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
3 May 11
My husband used to hug me specially when it's so cold but not for long. When we are really about to sleep we break it and have our pillows instead. This is because it tires us specially on his arms and me on my neck.
It's really uncomfortable to sleep when an arm is all over you.
1 person likes this
@Mickie30 (2626)
•
2 May 11
You know I really love my husband but, for some reason I have never liked falling asleep together. I cannot do it. I have to lie the opposite way to him and as far away as possible. I feel silly writing that because I really do love my husband to bits, but I just cannot get to sleep near someone. However, when I am asleep nothing will wake me up and I often climb on my husband or hit him in the face, lol!
@Porcospino (31366)
• Denmark
2 May 11
My husband would like to hug me to sleep, but I don't like it. I think it is uncomfortable to sleep that way and it gets too hot. I like it when my husband hugs me, I just don't like to sleep like that all night. I have told my husband that I don't like to sleep like that. I said it in a nice way, but he still got hurt, and he thinks that I don't want him to hug me to sleep, because I don't really love him. That is not true at all, I just find it uncomfortable to sleep like that for many hours.
@Cherish14 (2693)
• Philippines
2 May 11
i love it very much when my boyfriend hugs me and even wraps his legs around me when we sleep together.it never bothered me, i even get a vry good sleep when he does that 
but awwwwwww i feel bad for you because i know you need your sleep too and besides that you don't feel comfortable when he hugs you at night, he also snores. try to change his position when he snores at night. put him in a side lying position, that will stop him from snoring, maybe you can try that. and also i think if he happens to hug you at night while is asleep, just try to remove his arms, i also feel bad for him if you keep telling him that you don't like it when he hugs you to sleep at night.
but awwwwwww i feel bad for you because i know you need your sleep too and besides that you don't feel comfortable when he hugs you at night, he also snores. try to change his position when he snores at night. put him in a side lying position, that will stop him from snoring, maybe you can try that. and also i think if he happens to hug you at night while is asleep, just try to remove his arms, i also feel bad for him if you keep telling him that you don't like it when he hugs you to sleep at night. @gicolet (1702)
• United States
3 May 11
no, i don't tell him all the time that i don't like it when he hugs me at night. i don't want to sound like a broken record. he knows how i feel about it. i think he just don't take me seriously. i love him for being so sweet all the time but i need some of the sleep that he gets all the time.
@ravinskye (8237)
• United States
2 May 11
Have you tried to figure out why he just started doing it a year ago? Maybe something happened. Anyways, my husband used to want me to cuddle with him too when we went to bed. I'm the same way as you though. I can't sleep if anyone is touching me at all. Even to hold his hand. I think it bothered him at first but he's okay with it now. He snores too unless he is laying on his side. Sometimes I just lay with him till he falls asleep and then I move. It usually doesn't take him long to fall asleep and once he's out he's out like a log so he doesn't feel me move away.
@gicolet (1702)
• United States
3 May 11
I did try to figure out what's going on and I've been thinking that maybe he's going through some kind of men's menopause? lol He wants a lot of attention now as if I haven't given him enough. I even scratch and rub his back to sleep while I watch tv...hoping he sleeps so good he won't wake up when it's time for me to sleep. I have not tried to lay with him till he falls asleep though...maybe i should try that, thanks... cause he goes to bed early as he leaves the house early in the morning too everyday. Every night I let him watch tv first, then I watch tv when he falls asleep. Maybe there's something wrong with that? For some reason he wakes up after i turned the tv off...then the hugging and snoring begins :(
@ifa225 (14460)
• Indonesia
4 May 11
Hi Gicolet,
at first sleep he will huge me. then when i let his hugs, he will make a distance from me. it makes me good to feel his hugs, but not all night cause i don't feel comfortable too.
maybe you can tell him what your feelings so he will understand it
@hardworkinggurl (37063)
• United States
2 May 11
I can understand you not feeling comfortable to sleep. Maybe allow him to initially hug and comfort you as you both lay down at first. Then slowly pull away and lay comfy on your side.
It may be worth letting him know that it is not so comfortable to sleep in that position.
Best of luck and hope he can understand, as for me I do like being hugged while we sleep, but it does come to a moment that we mutually kind of pull away as it is not so comfortable the entire night.
@gicolet (1702)
• United States
3 May 11
Yeah we did that...and then pull away from each other after awhile. Once he starts snoring i usually touch his cheek and then he would wake up for a bit then goes to his side of bed but then he turns around early morning to cuddle me again. I did tell him already that i can't sleep comfortably when he hugs me for a long time at night...he says sorry, stops for a day or 2 then gets back to it again.
@toniganzon (72533)
• Philippines
3 May 11
My husband doesn't like hugging me to sleep and that really makes me sad but i'm used to it.
When i was a kid my father put me to sleep and he would hug me tight so i really feel safe when i'm being hugged to sleep. But since my husband doesn't do that, i put a pillow behind me since i usually sleep on my side. That way i can feel some warmth next to me and it's like somebody's hugging me.
@LeighAnne93 (129)
•
2 May 11
Try asking him to stick to his side? I like a hug before going to sleep, but I can't sleep whilst being hugged it's too uncomfortable. I usually roll over onto my side and he rolls onto his.
@ckciasigurl (2081)
• Italy
3 May 11
hi gicolet!
my boyfriend hugs me when i am sleeping, i am not irritated because honestly
i sleep in the muscle of my boyfriend, i feel comfortable, and happy because
i feel i am secured whenever he hugs me. Every time we sleep together i am requesting him and he knows already that i like his muscle rather than the pillow if i am going to sleep but sometimes his hands also is triggering so he sometimes remove ,
@lsdshrooms (214)
• United States
3 May 11
I'm a guy, and my gf is usually very cuddly at night and she loves when I cuddle close to her and hug her when we're falling asleep, or she likes to fall asleep on my chest... when she isn't in that mood then I know she's mad at me. However I understand how you could feel uncomfortable with someone being all over you, sleeping is usually when you get some well-needed personal space. I suggest you nicely talk to him about it, I'm sure he'll back off a little bit.
@sender621 (14893)
• United States
3 May 11
My sister has a husband like this. he likes to hug when going to sleep. My sister will say it can be uncomfortable when he is hanging on. i tell herf that he is just cuddling and she should appreciate the gesture. it's when they stop cuddling, that you often have to worry about where you stand.
@starsailover (7829)
• Mexico
2 May 11
Hi gicolet: It looks so uncomfortable. Maybe you can tell him that is not that you want to hurt him but the reality is that you can't sleep that way. Give him a hug before sleeping is just enough and there's the snoring thing that is really uncomfortable too 
. If you explain it how difficult is for you to sleep he should understand this.
ALVARO
. If you explain it how difficult is for you to sleep he should understand this.
ALVARO