do you forget and forgive or you forgive but not forget....

You should give your forgiveness to those people who commits you wrongdoings and stay away from them after. Because its there life, the used to do it with innocents people, so rather confined myself in my room than to mingles with them, the forgiveness is easily given but the damage that they done is still remain and I don't care it at all as long as I can face God with a clean heart.

This is a very hard situation. I personally couldn't forget, and in fact I can never really seem to. As an example, if I was in this situation and I later found out the friend had a really good reason for what she did (I can't think of one, but imagine she did), I would forgive, but I'd never be able to forget, even though she may not even have really been wrong. If that makes any sense? I don't have amazing self esteem to begin with, and if someone hurts me, I'll do my best to forgive them, but I've never been the sort to forget. In my mind, even having forgiven the friend for what she did, there'd still always be a niggling doubt in the back of my head thinking "what if", "What if she did it again?" even if I could see that she was really sorry and would rather chew her own arm off than do something so bad again. I'm sorry that your friend made you look bad, and even more sorry that your friends and family believed the lies. I would be able to forgive but not forget her actions, but I think I would also be asking why my family believed her over me? Maybe because she was very convincing, maybe because they're too quick to believe lies, but maybe also something you did combined with those other things to make them doubt you? They were still wrong not to believe you, but knowing if you had a part to play can only be a good thing.

I don't forget. I can't....and sometimes it takes me a long time to forget. I had the same situation happen to me and I have only now forgiven her but I still do not speak to her. Its been three years and I have only now been able to even think about her without getting ticked off. I wish you luck in whatever you do, but don't be surprised if it happens again. I never let her do it to me again, but I heard she did it to another of her "friends" not too long ago.

I think the path to forgiveness is a much easier one. Obviously not as easy if it is a very big mistake that you have to forgive. However, the thing about life is that it really does go on and on through all time. Therefore, you got to really forgive, if you wish to move forward in that wonderful thing that is called life. It is the first step to healing and to perhaps reclaim whatever was once was. Of course, things in life may never be the same again, depending on the situation. It is very hard to forget. Especially if it is something that really sticks out in the mind. Emotional wounds tend to take a very long time to heal. We are going to really need to move on after a time, but its going to be a long and winding road. Its going to need to take one step at a time. Forgiveness comes first obviously and we can partially forget, but we might never do so.

It does take me time but I can forgive, however I do not forget. See the way I see it is that I will not hold the issue over the person head and or remind them constantly of what they did, but forgetting for me means I leave my guard down and at probable risk of being hurt again. I can be amicable with just about anyone but to return back to what we once had would be too hard for me because I am a good caring person who does not harm anyone, so I feel I deserve the same respect. Hope things get better for you.

First of all, let me tell you that I'm very sorry for your pain. I can understand how you are feeling because I too have someone in my life that has hurt me very badly. At first it was just little things, comments and such. Then they told me that I never cared about them, which was not true. I cried for a good week over this. Tried to forgive then but had a very hard time because I couldn't forget. Then a few months later I found out that this person has been talking about me, spreading lies about me and my family. It just killed me all over again. I forgave again and this time really did forgive and forgot. Now I've been told what else this person has spread around and I'm finding it very hard to move past it. I will forgive for the sake of myself but I will not forget again. I'm afraid if I forget, it will let this person hurt me again. Right now, I am trying to move this person out of my life to pervent future pain. So my anser to you would be to forgive but not to forget. If you don't forgive then all it does it make it harder on you and it hurts you more because you carry it around with you.

If this is the situation, it will be a while before i could forgive her, but i will never forget what she did to me. It will surely be here in my heart forever, because the hurt it caused was too much.

I would forgive and forget because the truth is that life is a lot more easier when you don't have any resentment towards anybody. It makes no sense to remain hurt over someone that doesn't care about you.

Those are people of many kinds, a backfighters. Well, I can easily forgive people who done me wrong but the damage has been done so just forgive them but don't mind them anymore, I will not entertain them the next time they will approach me and prove to the people that those spread out humors are just fabricated. It's up to them if the believed it or not.

One must forgive to be able to moce on in life. But to forget is the most dangerous one. When you meet the same situation next time youwill not be able to identify it because you have forgoten it. It is called experience.

I would do neither. I would write such a person off. I would refuse to expend any of my time or energy on such a person, which includes hating that person. If such a person came to me at some point in time and apologized, forgiveness would easily be given. However, trust is an entirely different matter. Trust needs to be earned. Anyone can pay lip service to the words "I'm sorry". But you better believe I would be watching very carefully to see if that person was at least trying to be a better person and change because it's what that person does that will indicate if they are truly sorry or not and the ensuing behavior of that person would let me know if trust can be restored and the situation can be forgotten. Everyone makes mistakes, but everyone also has the ability to grow, learn and change.