Should prom be used as reward/punishment in high schools?

Perhaps the reason the daughter is in trouble with school is her mother never took the time or made the effort to appropriately punish her daughter. A child learns what is acceptable and not from the parent. The school is right but who knows how silly the courts will be.

She served her three days of suspension, so why should she be punished again by not letting her go to the prom? The prom is a right of passage and it's not fair to not allow a student to go unless there was some extreme circumstances. I don't agree with this school's policy. I don't advocate bad behavior, but like I said, it's like being punished twice. As far as being absent, what if there was a good reason for a student being absent x amount of times?

I think it all depends on the student and the situation really. In the example you gave then I understand and the kid deserved it. Starting a food fight is a good reason to take away such a privilege. A kid that I know got banned from the prom for what I felt was such a trivial matter. It was two days before prom. He had forgotten a book in his car and in between classes, he quickly ran out to grab the book. A teacher saw him and called him out on it and sent him to the office where he got suspended. As a result, he was unable to attend his Senior Prom which is a memory most of us treasure for years to come. Now this kid had decent grades and is a very good kid. He had no prior disciplinary record. Do I think it was unfair? Yes...very. His girl had already bought her dress and He'd already put money down on a Tux. As for the grades....again that depends. Some kids can go every day and not get good grades. Is it really fair to deny them a memorable night with classmates because they can't make the grade?

Hi. asyria51. Welcome to myLot! Well, I don't mean to argue here, but I really do feel that taking away the student's right to go to their own prom is wrong. I truly feel that the school can punish these kids another way except taking away their right to go to their own prom. This is a memorable experience that they will never truly forget. They only get one prom that is their own. They also may be able to go to another student's prom that is in a higher grade than they are though. I just feel that, student's should have the right to go to their prom. It is wrong that they have started a food fight in the cafeteria though. I just think that they should at least make these kids do community service that involves them cleaning up for three days. They should work up to six hours cleaning up debris from the neighborhoods and environment around them. I think that this should be a much fairer punishment. As far as the parent suing the school, I think that they are just acting out in anger because of their child not being allowed to go to their own school prom.

I would say that the prom is something special for the good,behaved,average grade point students. If that innocent would have happened at her home would the parents still allow her to do whatever? Probably not. I think that it might be more about the parents not seeing their daughter in prom than the girl herself.

Well, if a kid doesn't know how to behave, sometimes we have to resort to those kind of methods. Often parents don't parent well enough, and schools need to make up for that. In my school there was no such a thing as a prom, and I'm glad there wasn't. Every time I have seen pictures of a prom it looks boring and everyone is supposed to wear those ugly party dresses... maybe a prom can be used as a punishment, forcing kids to go

I dont know if I can give a 100% answer to this. I'm kind of in between. On one hand I understand she was suspended but it seems kind of harsh to not allow her to go to the prom. Thats a once in a lifetime thing and she is going to miss out on it and I find it sad. I understand the schools viewpoint and becuase they sent the letters out to parents ahead of time there really was no point in fighting it.

hello asy, If this rules is really one of the school rules and guidelines there is nothing to debate or asks questions. Some school implement their own rules to discipline their students,and prom is one of the brightest idea than i can think of. have a good day

From the little I know of America then the school prom is one of the most important passing out stages for a teenager. I mean it is a right of passage...it is something that every teenager does. Therefore I believe it is wrong to ban any teenager. The punishment does not fit the crime. There are other disciplinary measures that should be employed first. Something that is given to every other teenager, especially a right of passage should never be denied. The effect on the teenager is far far more disproportionate than the crime. Even though they are a teenager, the impression they get is that they have been branded for life. And, as stated in the Bible, suffer little children for they will inherit the earth. What sort of message is it you are giving this child? I think the result will be far far worse in the future. I am not condoning or condeming the child, I do not know the circumstances, really it is far to easy for someone to get on their soapbox these days and give their view and get it accepted by a minority who make so much noise the majority just give in to keep the peace. That is how Hitler came to rule over Germany. Look at where that lead to. If I were them I would first place myself in that childs shoes before pontificating, examine the consequences of their well intentioned pontifications. America I believe is a Christian country and therefore should show a little more tolerance and love before getting the shotgun out and blasting away.

Don't do the crime if you can't do the time. I think it is fair that the school does not let her attend the prom. The student and her parents, as with everyone on that school, received the fair warning in the beginning of the term (as you mentioned). She still went ahead and broke the rules. So, yeah, it is not nice that she is going to miss the prom, she need not have. The school would happily welcome her to attend the prom if she just behaved like a normal student. She need not even be good, just normal and not creating disturbances. That's all. I am glad to know that the school is not backing down . If they do, it would send a not so good message to all the other students, in my opinion, all the students will think that they can do whatever they want. Like you and most of the responders, I am shocked at her parents. Instead of trying to get the daughter know that if she misbehave, she needs to pay the price, they are basically letting her know that it is alright to misbehave.

I think it shouldn't be. I understand if a child has done something bad. If they are flunking in school or being suspended they will pay the price by either not being able to graduate or slim pickings on the colleges they can go to. So let them have the prom. They'll be punished enough later on in life.

If they handed out letters saying that, then it's sorta like an internet terms+conditions that you must accept. Therefore, I agree that it is the child's fault. However, many high schools allow students from other schools to go to prom.