Am i choosy...or afraid to love before it can come true!

Let them laugh all they want sweetie. It's hard to trust someone. Without trust you cannot love. Maybe they should rather leave you be, so you can decide for yourself. Whatever is best for you and makes you happy.

Am I wrong that today is the 3rd days that your discussion connected to each other. Oh I forgot this is May mothers month or mother's crying.. Anyway according to your info i think it is normal to one woman who had sufferred such pain in the past. I mean from there I think your not after to your feelings for you is the welfare of your children. always there the question that if I start having relationship again the guy will accept my children or my children accept him. Always asking it is really need or priority than to my children.. However if all these question will answer you without doubt from your heart you can make a decision... see you around

I know your not a choosy person but the past experience you have before will give you a little doubt or fear. No one will want to be hurt. This is the factor that makes you to be choosy. To choose someone who care is not an easier things. Because people changes after all...there is no assurance for everything we see. Just to make sure that love will encircle between the two of you. Love that never change after years and years...

Hi didi... taking the right Decision in this life is the hardest stuff to do. I know your kids are teen aged now and if you do that... i mean a second chance... then some bad impacts can come to your kids lives. I cant say what to do or not? but think thousands of time before taking the right decision. All the best. have a nice day.

Dear Jai Di You do need one more deep warm hug here . It is never easy to love another person as a life partner no matter whether you are single or with kids or anything - If you are a human. Those who say and get into this, well, say they are quite blessed but I feel they are unfortunate. Wait before you mark me off asto why I say they are unfortunate - Love happens, and True Love Happens only once. If they got married to someone who leaves them midway, they never experienced what True Love was and so they can try out someone else - and that non-experience makes me feel that they are unfortunate. If anyone has been in love - true love - s/he has got enough power and resources to stay all alone - sorry I dont agree alone either as the sweet memories of those great times that you shared together will never make you feel that you are alone. Being hurt in love - I never agree that love hurts - but in this context I think it means that the partner walks away - Let me know what walking away of the partner has to do with the Love that you have for him/her? You have a heart that will always love the partner - and if this is so, you will never be alone... those sweet memories of times theory will stand and see you all through the ups and downs...

hello jaiho, On my own opinion you just don't meet your destiny yet Promises cannot be an assurance like what i always said to see is to believe Like what you've said you are just protecting your kids but somehow you need to let yourself to fall in love again with the right person I am ready to fall in love again it's just no one fall for me or maybe I don't allow them to fall in love with me because of DESTINY . have a great day!

Hi Jai! You see some people around us just keep pointing fingers towards our status and our deeds. These kind of people unnecessarily poke their nose into our personal affairs. If you are sharing something with them and asking for their advice, then it is OK. But my humble suggestion is that - [i]"do what you like and what you consider best for you, however, you may listen to those people"[/i]. It is your life and you will have to face the music if you start dating someone again, not they. You need to weigh all pros and cons before plunging yourself into a fresh 'affair'. Here is saying too - "Once bitten twice shy", so you need to trudge you path (read future life) very cautiously and carefully. As you have the responsibility of bringing up your kids, you just cannot go careless. These are strictly my personal thoughts, you could ignore it, if you do not like it.

I never been in a relationship and I got rejected too many times. Maybe it is just not your time now and even yourself, you are saying you are not ready for it that is why you haven't found him. Anyway, i do not like giving advices on love since I have zero experience. I believe in right love to right people but it is always happen in the wrong time that is why there are problems that leads to separation. Maybe now you feel a little sorry about avoiding relationship, do not mind other people if they laugh at you, there are no Einstein in relationship that will tell you the right thing to do when it comes to love. They do not know what you have been through, that is why they do not have the right to laugh at you. To think that there is nothing funny of what you said. But do not take it seriously on them, maybe that is their reaction to what you said. Love will come to you but still you will decide if you want to take it.

It is all about what you want. Perhaps you are set in your ways and you just don't want someone cramping your style or getting in the way of your relationship with your children. It could also be hurt, but after 7 years I think if that is holding you back you should let go and relax a little bit and realize that love can not exist without risk. If you don't take a risk you will never know if love is truly out there for you or not. But you don't have to be with someone if you don't want to. Like I said it is up to you. If you like your life the way it is then by all means leave it that way, but if you want to take a risk to find love then go for it.

dear jaiho, many years back when i was still a clooege student i fell madly in love with a girl.She too loved me equally.However afer 2 years we broke up mainly because we were too young and secondly because we were immature, not stable,dependant on our parents and still too young to get married. She got married a couple of years later but i did not.After her i have never fallen in love though i met a few girls.All for the better because i was destined to come on a wheelchair permanently.In your case you have been hurt badly and therefore you have clammed up and are refusing to open your self and your heart to others.Its not your fault, its a natural reaction since you are afraid to take the risk of getting hurt another time.It all depends on you,whether it is true love that you want or just somebody`s companionship.I have always felt that the first love is real and others that follow are simply infatuation. Sometimes during the course of ones life one meets someone who is compatible,someone with whom one cann adjust.Love may not be the factor that beings them together but a liking for each other.If you happen to come across someone like this then get to know each other and then decide if you can spend your life with him happilt.Love can come later as you get to know each other better.If it does happen then your life is made.

Your view that you care more about your kid's reputation is the foremost in your mind. Next the fear of having suffered with one man makes you shy from finding the second. Probably in your view one partner will bind you from proceeding in your own way in regard to day to day schedule. You have got used to living without a partner for seven years and u are 40 or so--managing singly for this long is credit worthy. have a good day.

You need to do what's best foryou and your kids.I completely understand where our coming from I have been divorced since 1999 then lived with a guy for 5 yrs which was a big big mistake. I told myself I was taking a year off, maybe date but nothing serious. Well it's been alot more than a year and stll single. I have dated and almost started a relationship with a guy. After I had my daughter I put dating on the back burner not knowing who to or not to trust around my daughter. I have't been with or dated anyone for at least 3 yrs. I actually kind of like not being in a relationship or having anyone living with me. I come and go as I please. I have nobody coming home drunk yelling at me, and nobody to be telling me what to do (although I have an old neighbor and his friend try to boss me around. Thats another thread).

You are not,you are just busy attending to your kids. There is nothing wrong with staying single after your marriage. Just take your time. Choose,study and analyze the man that will take care of you for the rest of your life. Hope you will not be hurt anymore because of your past experience.

Dear jaiho Honestly speaking, I read first every response here before I made this response. Indeed, right now I'm into that kind of situation you're having too. You've been separated for 7 yrs now and I'm on my 17 yrs. I have the same reasons, as you have. I considered my children's welfare. There had been also many suitors since the separation, but in my mind I always think that men are all the same and will hurt me again mentally and emotionally (not physically). That alone made me tough and strong to carry on with life's struggles. Now, that my children are old enough to be on their own, and soon will be having a family of their own, I am beginning to think where will life take me, by being alone? Have you thought about it yet? Seek for God's wisdom and you will have the answer.

jaiho2009 Sometimes being hurt by someone makes you feel so vulnerable and afraid to be hurt again, but I really think God has the right person for all of us and we will know when we meet that person. There will be no longer any fear as this person will be drawn to you as YOu find yourself drawn to him. I know with children you want to sheild them too and not let anyone hurt them. but the right person will love children, and dogs and cats. He is out there and when you meet him you will feel like you have known him all his life. all fears will be forgotten as he will feel the same way about you.He will love you and your children too.It will happen and probably in an unexpected place too. wait and see.

It is like having a Phobia..afraid to commit in love because you've been hurt...but i believe if you really want to you can but also be prepared for the consequences. But then, true love might come..sooner or later..if you are willing to wait right? but if not, you can like grab it if you are that risky! But if you are happy where you are now, do not mind what other people will say, as long as you are happy go on with you life..what do they know? it is you living your life

I think this is just a matter of confusion and also the matter of not having the courage to take decision sometime. Or some time to be in the lurch. Yes you must ask your self it he is the right person and if the answer is yes go ahead and leave everything you will get some result and not need to be in the lurch.

I would like to tall again and again that life is for ONLY once and once, it pass by, it goes or vanishes for ever. I would like to tell you that 'live the way how we like' - no one has the right to ask, question, or to discuss anything with you or anyone else. May be kids, husband, father, mother, sister, brother - who ever is, our life is ours and to live the way how we like. All the social and surroundings are made by us for we all. If you lose something, you are the loser and non can blamed for it. Sill I am telling you, suppersion and surrender are part of life and time will not stop or wait for anyone for anything. So, if you can understand me, think what you like and do and get it. Cry for the entire or the remaining life time can do for anyone. But being practical and upto date is the though from a wise person, so, slowly be practical and whatever you lost can't get substituted with anything. No one can give back you, whatever you lost or missed. There is still time think differently and try to get back to a life what everyone has. Live like how others live and adopt the way appropriately or lead the life in such a way what gives you satisfaction and pleasure. Life is only for once and once it lost, it lost for ever. Time moves on and we cannot ever or never can think of catch them back. So move alongwith the movements of the second needle. Some time you can get back all, there is still time and you are not yet late..... Thank-s

Your children are most important so you must protect them. However it is also important that you are happy, so if something feels right.. go for it. Otherwise just take it easy and stay cool. :)

Some we all need not to be so choose and the right one will come in place. I was like that once the I found the right one. You just got to allow time to know a person don't jump too fast in to anything that you have kids and even if you didn't. I once feel like that, wouldn't give anyone else a chance until I found out the one who hurt was enjoying their life with another. I said to hell with that I'm not giving up on love and right now I have the love I was longing for someone that truely cares for me and someone thats there for me always. He not exactly the looks I was looking for but sometime we need not to be so choosy and we'll find the right now...