Do long distance relationships work?
By anonymous815
@anonymous815 (47)
United States
June 2, 2011 2:45pm CST
Currently me and my girlfriend is three hours apart. I feel that somehow we can make it work despite what other people say. Some of my close friends tell me that it would never work. Sometimes I think that they might be right because recently we've been getting into more arguments over the simplest things. Although "absence makes the heart grow fonder", it does not help avoid doubtful situations. A friend told me that "Distance doesn't ruin a relationship. Doubts do." I am going to take those words in mind and hopefully things will work out till the end.
What do you guys think? Do long distance relationships work?
3 people like this
22 responses
@yspmyl (3435)
• Malaysia
7 Jun 11
Hi!
I believe if both of you trust each other and really in love with each other, distance is not a problem. Three hours apart is not really too far away and you can anytime meet other when you have the time. With today's advance technology, both of you can get contacted through many ways like phone, if you can afford the phone bill. You can use skypee if you want a free call, you can even see each other using video chat. So, that should not be a problem. I was in a long distance relationship before and the situation lasted 2 years and now we have got married with two kids. So, it will work out if both of you take the effort and try to maintain the relationship.
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
6 Jun 11
Hi anonymous, I would say what your friend told is really a myth. When there is love, why there comes a point of doubt. I and my lover were apart for 2 years, we never had misunderstandings. Only pain is we missed each other. And one more when you say long distance can cause doubt and then it also mean any time when both are not together can provoke doubt as well. love is trust, when its so strong, you dont have to worry about your friends. Misunderstanding is common in relationship, but its not gonna ruin. According to me, long distance relationships can build the bond more stronger.
@cream97 (29087)
• United States
4 Jun 11
Hi. anonymous815. Welcome to myLot!
I think that relationships can work if you want them to work. The effort that it takes to hold the relationship together plays a major part/role in determining if the relationship will work. I was once in a long distance relationship almost twice. The first relationship that I had, it worked out pretty well. It just seem like, since my ex boyfriend did not have a car of his own, he used the excuse of not coming to see me anymore. He started blowing me off and I felt like he was getting tired of me. So I yelled at him and I told him that the next guy that I get involved with, I will marry. Well, I did not know how powerful my words were because right now, I am currently married to my husband of nine years. It will be ten years this July 12th. So after me and this guy broke up, I never knew that the next guy that I would have met would have been my future husband. Strange and exciting, huh? Yet, the craziest thing about this is that this same guy, wanted to still rekindle the relationship with me even when I was still married! So, if you and your girlfriend can make it work, then try to. Ignore what other people say about how love is supposed to be in their opinion. Create your own unique love with each other. Love is what you make it, not from the words of other peoples opinions.
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@fixerupper3530 (173)
• United States
4 Jun 11
Long distance relationships rarely work! When you don't spend much time with someone, you tend to grow apart. One of you will have to make a big sacrafice and move to the same town as the other. This will give your relationship the greatest opportunity for success.
@naija4real (1291)
•
4 Jun 11
Long distance relationships do have it bad sides especially if you leave your partner for a very long time. He or she will start getting tempted or depressed and in the not too distant time get involved in extra-marital relationship or get another lover.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
4 Jun 11
I don't know if your girlfriend is 3hrs driving distance or on the plane. But in my opinion, nothing wrong with having a long distance relationship. I am in one myself, my baby is 4hrs away on the plane. We talk all the time and we do certain things to feel closer to eachother and it works for us. But he has made up his mind that he wants to move out here with me and start a life here. We love eachother madly and fell fast and deep. Distance should not come between what your heart feels. If there's a will there's always a way especially with technology these days...good luck
@Celanith (2327)
• United States
3 Jun 11
Yes they can work, first of all let me say that before my husband and I got married 41 years ago I lived 450 miles away from him. He would call me each night, this was long before computers and every other weekend he would drive down to see me. This went on for nearly 4 months then we got married and have been together through thick and thin, good and bad, sickness and health, sorrow and laughter and joy and tears. Loss of babies still born and four lovely children we raised. Now we are grandparents of 17 living grandchildren and sadly four in heaven. 3 stillborn grandsons and a little boy of four just 19 months ago who left us to live with Jesus. But we have great love and we talk we share we still hold hands and are happy in our winter years of life. I also have some friends who had a long distance relationship before they got married and they are together and still happy as well. So yes they do work with a lot of patience, trust, give and take and sharing and most of all communication and forgiveness. Hope you succeed as we have.
@rosesthorns14 (803)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
It depends. I know a lot of couple who are in a long distance relationship and they are still together. Time, communication and effort are needed to keep the relationship alive. Love, trust and loyalty will help you two stick together. If in doubt, talk to your significant other if you are bothered by something. If nothing happens, you need to get out of the relationship before it gets worse.
@stanley777 (9402)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
Yeah, It did for me and also to some guys I new.If you are in a relationship I guess no one knows what to expect but if you two are really made for each other no one can stop that.Being far or near with each other will not be a problem as long as you both trust each other plus constant communication, is the key for a relationship to last.
@mckarladejesus (64)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
There are already a lot of discussion about long distance relationship. 3 hrs is not that far. I am from the Philippines. I live with my mom and my siblings here. But my dad is at Saudi Arabia. My dad works abroad for more than 25 years now. My parents are now 22 years in their married life. Its not about the distance. Its about love and trust to one another. :)
@emmanuallava (8)
• France
3 Jun 11
Short absences makes the heart grow fonder. Long absences makes the heart grow paranoid.
Long distances is never the issue, but it is the backdrop for relationship issues. Trust is really the central problem here. Most relationships are able to develop trust by forming habits that create stability. They eat dinners together regularly, so no one else is getting dinner time with your spouse. They make love regularly, so no one else is making love with your spouse. And so on and so on.
The problem with long distance relationships is that the habits that can be developed do NOT curb those trust issues. You can talk regularly on the phone, but that won't alleviate doubts about what she does the rest of the time. She can promise to miss you all the time, but that doesn't make her act like she misses you. It is truly very hard to live and love apart. But good luck to you! There are exceptions to the rule!
@joannefajardo28 (2)
•
3 Jun 11
i myself came from this situation...and it's not easy but it work for me...i've been 3 years away from my honey but since we do a lot of effort in making time for each other like calling and chatting everyday i can say it helps,,,it's not the distance that';s important it's your cooperation and love for each other to make your relationship work...no matter what obstacle will come in your way as long as you two are strong standing side by side...then i can say nothing is impossible...love is stronger than anything else...but as i say it's not easy... you need to do not only twice the effort but more....
@dodo19 (47268)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
3 Jun 11
I do believe that long distance relationships do and can work out well for some people. Perhaps not for everyone, but for some they do. The same could be said for any time of relationship really. Relationships take work, and long distance relationships takes more work. Distance can be difficult for anyone.
@etp2377 (57)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
Long distance works depends on the people involve. If they are both willing to sacrifice a bit for that to work, it will. I know some who have long distance relationship that still work out fine & they still ended up to be wed. But then there are some friends of mine that they end up breaking having a long distance relationship. That really depends on both parties involve.
@rmnrmn (688)
• India
3 Jun 11
Your friend is right that long distance is not the destruction for a relation ship but doubt does. I also add one thing more that communication is also important in a relationship weather its apart or near! Always try to keep in touch with your beloved one and have faith on her which will help you to buld a healthy and happy relationship. Good luck Anonymous815 :-)
@rosielleanne (121)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
long distance relationships will work if you want to make them work. if you choose to be in this kind of relationship, you have to make sure that you have 100% trust on your partner. your friend is right, doubts ruin not only long distance relationships, but any type of relationship. so if you have complete confidence that your partner isn't and won't cheat on you or do anything stupid, then go on with it
@rhannealmoite (338)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
It'll will work as long as you love and trust each other. Also you must have a constant communication.
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