How old is too old to be pregnant....?
By JJohnson79
@JJohnson79 (301)
United States
June 2, 2011 10:21pm CST
My man keeps talking about having more kids. He even got mad when I told him I was on birth control so he made me get off. We're both in our 30's, he has 3 beautiful girls from a previous and I have my 2 from a previous. Being that I am a bit older than him and I have to carry the baby, how old is too old to conceive? I don't want to make it seem like im putting him on a time limit but am I being selfish by telling him we gotta have all the kids we can have by the time im 37(that's less than 5yrs from now)? Keep in mind twins run heavy in his family so maybe i'll get lucky and knock 2 out the first shot lol.
1 person likes this
8 responses
@Asilrose (24)
• Canada
3 Jun 11
I had my last child at 42 - he is currently 2 years. I have 2 other kids, 18 and 8 both girls. Matt is the second with my husband. I have to say, for me, having him was the absolute best decision we ever made. He was a "surprise" I was on birth control (not 100% solution as my Dr. pointed out...) and since his birth he has brought such joy into our lives, my 8 year old said to me the other day,"Mom, what did we do before Matt was born, I don't remember, it is like he has been with us forever..." the 2 of them are thick as thieves.
I think though to answer your question, what do you want?
Biologically, as long as you are producing eggs, you have the ability to conceive. Emotionally, where are you both at? Financially? Diapers cost, and it only gets worse from there. Also as you age, there is a risk of health problems in the Child (Downs Syndrome etc) as well as yourself. At the end of the day, a child is for a lifetime, so think it through, but don't be pressured either way. ( I had lots of friends and even some family who thought I shouldn't have him...) What do you want? Is it right for you? How secure is your relationship? How old are your other kids? Are you prepared to do it all again? Lots to consider, and I wish you much luck.
@Asilrose (24)
• Canada
4 Jun 11
I think that's great, it sounds like you have thought it through and are with the right person. I wish you all the best. It sounds like your relationship is ripe, and that makes all the difference in the world - so back at ya - That's wonderful and congratulations.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
4 Jun 11
Omg that's wonderful and congratulations. We have a good relationship, I do want at least two more but im not sure how many more he wants. He makes jokes about us being the Brady bunch but definitely the love is there, we're both emotionally stable, financially we're ok, I think everyone would like to great in that area but overall we're good and secure within our relationship. My two babies are 11 and 6 and honestly I believe I am ready to start all over again. Although, I may need a bit practice in changing diapers again lol no not seriously but yes I am ready to do this with him. He makes me so happy, I've never been this happy before. Its a wonderful feeling
@browneyed (2522)
• United Kingdom
3 Jun 11
First of all, it's your body, hun. You shouldn't let anyone make you come off birth control. Your body, your choice.
In answer to your question: some people do tend to think 40 onwards is too old, but I disagree. If a woman wants to and is able to get pregnant at 40, 50, 60, then it's not too old or else she wouldn't be capable of it.
I don't think you're being selfish, after all you two already have five kids between you, and like you said, you're the one who'll be doing the carrying.
What you both need to do is sit down and have an honest talk about it, without any ego, pressure or power struggle. But, please don't feel like you have to have a child when he says so. That's not a partnership.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
4 Jun 11
Thank you BrownEyed and I agree with you. I will sit down and initiate the conversation so that we'll bothhave an understanding and come to a mutual agreement. I wouldn't wanna put too much strain on my body due to other health issues so we need to come up with a plan and stick with it. Yes we do have 5 between the both of us and I love his girls just as I do my own and of course a bigger family calls for a bigger house. Right now things are comfortable because its just my kids here at home(for now). So only time will tell and being that I cannot have my kids naturally, im limited to how many C-sections I have. Thank you once again
1 person likes this
@browneyed (2522)
• United Kingdom
6 Jun 11
Hi,
You're welcome. Hope you and your partner work things out where the two of you agree to a decision that you're both happy with.
Take care...
@rakittera (802)
• Philippines
5 Jun 11
As adviced by doctors, it's safer to have babies before a woman turns 35. After 35, it's more dangerous for the mother and the baby. That is why congenital anomaly scans are required for women who are pregnant in their 30s because at this age, there are higher rates of congenital anomalies for the babies. I had my 2nd baby at 31 and my ob gyne required a congenital anomaly scan at my 6th month of pregnancy. Thank God they did not see any abnormalities or defects in my baby. She is now 1 year old and very healthy. An aunt of mine who got pregnant at 37 went through the same test and they found out that her baby had a heart problem. So, even before the baby was born, plans of how to treat her were in place. The baby is now 2 years old and is scheduled for her second operation to plant an extra valve in her heart. That was my aunt's first baby and it was traumatic for her that she did not want to have another. She also had one miscarriage before that baby and another after. There's also a high risk of miscarriage for women who got pregnant in their late 30s. So, if you should have another baby, I think it's best to have it sooner than later. That is if you really want to have another one.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
5 Jun 11
Im 32 now so I guess I should get started. But im so sorry to hear that about your aunt, God still blessed her with the greatest gift ever and I believe baby girl will be just fine. Her transplant will be a success. He never gives us more than we can handle, I will keep your family in my prayers. I just asked God to bless you and your family and that baby will have a successful transplant and live a healthy life. Thank you for your advice and I will take it into consideration
@jordan29bc (254)
• Philippines
3 Jun 11
typically, when you get on your 30s, you are already part of the high risk pregnancy. This does no automatically mean that you will facing pregnancy problems but there are greater chances. Better consult your OB-Gyne on this. :)
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
4 Jun 11
I did talk with her briefly about it but I will consult her again when it closer to that time...Thank you
@gebbesse (66)
• Canada
3 Jun 11
Although having a child when your older is risky. There is your chronological age, acutally counted by the day you where born, and your biological age, based on how healthy you are. A thrity year old could have the body of a twenty year old. I wouldn't have a kid if I was over a certain point though.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
4 Jun 11
I agree...thank you. I will just have to sit down and establish a plan with my man and hopefully we come to mutual agreement on things
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
3 Jun 11
I think by that time we'll be done with having kids and I agree the older the more risk...thank you
@maximax8 (31046)
• United Kingdom
27 Jun 11
My mom had her my sister when she was 34 years old. She had me born when she was 39 years old. One of my friends had a baby girl born when she was 39 years old and a baby boy born when she was 40 years old. I think that having a baby between the ages 35 and 40 years old. Some ladies aged between 40 and 45 years old can get pregnant but it is leaving it too late in my opinion. There is more chance of birth defects the older the lady is. I had my older son when I was 22 years old, my disabled son when I was 34 years old and my daughter when I was 36 years old. You have a few more years to wait get pregnant if that is what you decide you want to do.
@icantthinkofaname (135)
•
14 Jun 11
I don't think there is a limit to age... unless the person is in there 60's and upwards lol.
I know from experience today you need to be really sure that it's what you want. If you decide you do, there are plenty of benefits to being an older mum... you have experience and wisdom that a younger mum doesn't have.
Good luck to you and I'm sure you will make the best decision for you and your family x