???my Job or my Boyfriend???

He doesn't allow you to do things while he is away and who knows if he's doing those things that is why he's polluted mind gives him fears. I think that's usual for men who are seafarers, they want their women to stay at home so that these women would not be exposed to the real world. Before you know it, he has a lot of girls in different countries just like you (waiting for him in their permanent places). Besides, if you're going to go to another country to work, what's stopping him for going there instead of going to where you are now? I think his reasons are absurd. I don't think it's a matter of choice but it's a matter of him understanding that you too need to do something instead of just wait for him to come back. What if he decides not to come back anymore? How sure are you of his promises anyways? If I were you, I would talk to him again. Tell him to give you the same trust you give him when he's far at sea. Relationship may be tested but at least you'll know early on if he's the right one for you or not. I have a friend who has a seafarer boyfriend too and she's a nurse working in China (abroad). The relationship may be tough but at least they go to other countries for vacations instead of just staying in their home country. Not to mention that her paranoia is a little bit lower because she's busy doing something else instead of being idle. I tell you, if he really loves you, he will yield and understand your point. If still he insists, then I guess it's time for him to let you go.

if it comes to choosing between my boyfriend and my job i surely choose my boyfriend. because as long i will be with my boyfriend i can be anywhere and everywhere. because if u want u can get a new job in another city or town but if u want u cannot get a boyfriend like yours.and as long as iam with him i can even do a attender job.u guys can ask why do things like that but there is no answer for it except that i love him very much.

I have no experience in this, but the way I see it, it's hard to have a long distance relationship. Personally, I want to always see and hold my boyfriend, be with him all the time, things like that. But then, career is also important to me, and I love freedom as well, and I don't want anyone to hold me back from following my dreams. But is that really your dream? I mean, you can always look for a job here so you can still have your boyfriend. It all boils down to which is more important to you, love or career? For me, love always wins, but with a guy like that who doesn't even trust you, it's not worth it. The best option is: work abroad together. This is a hard one.

Never sacrifice your dreams for anyone...if he was worthy, he'll support you... And speaking from experience since I had a seaman boyfriend whom I had a tenuous relationship with for 3 yrs. They only get like that because they're afraid that what they're doing to us will haunt them...

If you say he is a seamn then he knows what he is talking about when he said "you might seek comfort from others". long distance relationship always end up with that BUT then if you were able to let him work as a seaman then he should give you the same trust you gave him. Even so, if you would both work the chance that the relationship would experience difficulties is very high. I suggest that you follow your dreams. Don't sacrifice your career for someone that you are not sure if is going to be there for the rest of your life. :)

I think the answer has been in your mind ,if you love your boyfriend and you can give everying for him then you will choose stay ,if you think the job more important you go out. but Ithink your boyfriend also wrong if he really love you ,he should treasure your decision ,and have you so good girlfriend proud,

I understand there is a cultural difference between where you live and where I do but I will give my response based on how I would feel personally, if that's all right :) He is your boyfriend and not your husband. If you were married, this would be a decision you would have to make together as a couple. However, your boyfriend doesn't have the right to "allow" you or "disallow" you when it comes to any decisions you have to make. The decision is yours. He is welcome to participate in a discussion about it or to offer his opinion but ultimately YOU make the choice that is right for you. He clearly doesn't trust you to be away from him in a long-distance relationship. It's normal to be fearful of such changes in any relationship but, ultimately, he is being extremely selfish, especially by giving you an ultimatum ("me or the job"). He wants you around to meet HIS needs in HIS way, when HE wants. That's not right. A relationship is a partnership and your needs must be met too. If this is a career that you are working hard to have (being a nurse) and you feel this is the right opportunity for you work-wise, take the job.

I think this time I will just reply with a very short and plain answer: If your boyfriend was worthy of you, you wouldn't be posting, or even thinking to go abroad. :)

Hi. griecy07. Let me school your boyfriend on some things here. You should sacrifice him to pursue your career. Why? I will tell you so. If your career and education is very important to you then you should go for your dreams. Don't let your boyfriend undermine your decision just because it is based on what his co-workers feel and think. He is not your co-workers and you sure are not like the other females out there that will seek comfort in other guys while you are working as a clinic nurse. You should pursue your desires and if any man, I mean ANY MAN really loves you, he will not stand in the way of your dream, just because of what his coworkers feeds into his brain! If your boyfriend really love you, he would let you have a life for yourself. He can't pin you down by hoping that you will stay here with him so that he can see you every time that he comes home from work. I understand that he wants to see you, but he is acting too clingy and that in my opinion is a complete turn off! Your boyfriend should learn these four words since he can believe what his co workers are telling him: Trust, jealousy, demanding and controlling!

Hi,This is a hard question,I don't know how to give you an acceptable advice.I share your dream,it is very bitter to give up the dream.I also understant your boyfriend's worries,after all the loving in different places is hard.Did he know your dream?Have you ever tried hard to persuvade him to let you realize your dream? I think that you two should reach an agreement,do not sacrifice any of you.have a nice day!

You studied hard to reach your dream of becoming a nurse and now you are in it. Give yourself time to feel and see how it is to be a careered woman. You chose it and aspired for it only to end up wasted. While you are not yet tied to your boyfriend get yourself involve in being a nurse first so that by the time you get married you will not look back to have regrets in your decision of choosing your boyfriend instead. You see you must settle your dream first because marriage is the last phase in your life and so do not hurry yourself instead weigh everything because it is hard to accept when you fail in your decision,however failure is a part of fate and we do learn from it only sometimes it hurts.

lets see, griecy07, lets say that everything you say here is truth, what can make you think everyone else think the same way as you do, maybe you are faithful, but we as man think diferent and because we have exeperiences just like this, who know girls more than a man? is not because we point them out like bad girls, is because we are humans, and as far as i know flesh is flesh, and no matter how much in love you are, let me tell you that even you can fail, dont take so serious but i know mani stories and i know how this one migh end.

Thats so sad to hear, in the first place what's your purpose to work abroad? Is it for your future? Guys has the tendency to be doubtful, I don't want to judge your boyfriend but how comes he thinks about you cheating on him? Does he really trust you? Trust is very important in a relationship. Its hard to choose between two things. If you boyfriend will break up with you because you chose your career than him, meaning...(for me, don't get me wrong) he doesn't want you to grow and selfish. Its hard to let go someone you love but its your call my friend. But if I were you, I let go of him, painful and hard it maybe, I have my dreams and I will never let anyone take that away from me, even if I love the person so much. Anyways there is always someone who really love you and will trust all your decision and support your dreams, anyway his included in it anyway.

First of all, everyone's different. Even if most long distance relationship end up with break up, it doesn't mean that your will. But you should also accept that as a possibility. I had a boyfriend before. We dated for 3 years. He was my first love and I can't even imagine falling for someone else. It was an impossibility for me at that time but then I end up falling for someone else anyway. What i'm saying is you can't blame your boyfriend for being paranoid. He is just afraid of losing you. It's a sign of love and you should be happy about that. However, it's unfair of him to ask you to choose between him and your career. If he truly loves you, he should also try to understand you and support you. Well it also depends on how long you'll be out of the country.

If this is your dream then break up with him. Your true " perfect" match will support your dreams , not make you choose between your life's work and him! I put quotes around perfect because no one is perfect but there are perfect matches. If you let him make you give this up what will he want you to give up next? and if the real reason is because he is afraid you may cheat, that isn't love , it is being possessive.If he Truly trusted you , then it wouldn't matter where you work or with whom!I wish he could just support this move but if he isn't going to, move on.I wish you luck.

Hi griecy, These situations rises up in life and the solution is who comes in priority. Say tommorrow after your marriage, you have kid of 1 year old and you have option to go. What will you decide? Dreams and goals are important for life, but I would say loved one feelings is more valuable as well. You can fulfil your dreams, earn money, come up in life, but loved ones we cannot get them back with any success. If he really loves you and wants to see you all time - if this a real reason, they why not accepting it. You are pursue your career at same place and reach heights! Cheers!

Hi Griecy~ How about you? Do you feel that it is worth to leave your job and stay with your boyfriend? This is a question you need to ask to your own self. No one can answer that for you. Yes, there is pros and cons accepting the job or not. You know yourself better. If you stay with him, how will your life could be? What about your future? Is it a life that you want that will guarantee your life in the future? If you accepting that job, what would happen to your life? Do you still can carry on without your boyfriend? or you can prove to him that you are fine and still love him even if you are far away from him? All this things you should ask to yourself and answer it sincerely. Love is not everything. We can find love if we lose one. Same goes to job. We could fine others if we lose it. There is also other way too- Try to find and look for another job. But analyse first if the job you have now is worth or not with jobs that you will find later.

He sounds like a controlling guy. Trust is the key factor in any relationship. If he won't or can't trust you then it's time to move on. I say follow your dreams. If the relationship don't work out then your going to regret not taking the job.

Hi griecy07 :) choosing between your bf and your career is really complicated but if I'm in your situation I'll choose not to hurt my bf because for me you can still pursue you career here in our country where it's badly needed.. your bf really love you that's why his really worried.. I suggest you should think about the future, think about growing old and think about the people important to you.. I really love this quotes : "Sacrificing your happiness for the happiness of the one you love, is by far, the truest type of love." Note: "Regrets are felt when it's just too late" I hope and pray that you can overcome your problem :)

hmmm... interesting situation you got here. but isn't that what's happening now? i mean, you're not always there with him because your boyfriend is a seaman. first, you have to know what you really want in your life at this point. if love is more important to you than your career, then stay for your boyfriend. but if you really want your career, why not talk to him about it? your boyfriend should try to understand that as a person, you have your goals in life. if i were him, i'd allow you to take that clinic nurse job in another country. then maybe i can look into the possibilities of meeting in that country if it's at all possible. or maybe we can both take a vacation somewhere else accessible for both of us. that would mean going on a vacation. if he refuse, then i think you should really consider if he's the right person for you. i mean, as early as now, he should learn how to give you freedom to explore your own interest and not just what he wants. seriously think about it. what if you're already married with him? will he allow you to take your interest as well? weigh things well and consider the consequences of whatever decision you take. if you're happy with the possible result of whatever decision you're taking, then that is the decision that you should take. no regrets! :)