I sometimes get in my mood when I feel like i'm not doing enough...
By JJohnson79
@JJohnson79 (301)
United States
June 6, 2011 7:41pm CST
I've been a single mother from the beginning and these past couple of years(since my injury) I feel like im not doing enough for my kids. I have my spells where I get depressed because im not and can't work due to my injury. I wanna blame it on the fact that my financial means aren't the same so at times I feel less of a woman and provider for my kids. My babies have always gotten things even without asking but I feel bad because they wanna go out and do family stuff but I have to tell them no because I don't have the money I use to have. And not only that, im always in pain. I wanna be in better spirits and get up when my babies wanna go and do things. So my thing is, am I being too hard on myself? Am I over reacting about feeling like im not doing enough as a mom?
6 responses
@ahvryl (15)
•
9 Jun 11
I think thats normal to every parent that they want to give whats best for their kids. They always want to be with them and spend all the time in the world with them. I think you can spend time with them even at home or not going anywhere. Just have a small party or just playing with them. I think its not on going out with them for shopping or malling, its about being with them and enjoying their company.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
11 Jun 11
We do simple things like camp out in the livingroom with popcorn and a movie. Or we'll go to my moms house for a few hours and do something over there. My kids are not really materialistic but when they do ask for stuff and I don't have the money for it, I feel bad sometimes. But they're old enough to understand my situation and are thankful for the things that they do have
@GemmaR (8517)
•
7 Jun 11
I don't think it really has much to do with being a single mum as such, I think these thoughts are just something that many mums go through at times of trouble. It will never feel as though we do enough for our children, but we have to remember that we're only human and there's only so much that really can do. You need to relax and remember that you're a really good Mum, and your children will know that you are doing your best, too.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
8 Jun 11
Thank you for those words of wisdom. I will take them into consideration and be a bit easier on myself. I hate that I get in those moods but sometimes I can't help it
@nanayangel (7879)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
Hi there JJohnson79!
First, being a mother is one of the most challenging thing that a woman faces. Being a single parent is another matter and having health issues definitely is another story. When you put all of these together, it's definitely normal to feel down sometimes because there are times when you, not deliberately, fail to give everything that your kids need especially when you're kind of tight on financial matters. I think that everytime you feel down, you just have to pray, or if you're not really spiritual, search yourself for inspiration, discover your true value and that sometimes, just knowing that you did your best can help. How old are your kids anyway? Maybe you just don't see it but they do understand what's happening.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
7 Jun 11
I do alot of praying but maybe it'll help if I were a bit more spiritual. I just think that I get overwhelmed with all that's on my plate. Im usually a strong person and very seldom break down. Maybe I need to break down sometimes to let it all out. I have a bad habit of keeping what's bothering me bottled inside. My babies are old enough to handle things like dishes, laundry etc. They are 11 and 6
@TazRes (827)
• United States
7 Jun 11
Hi JJohnson79 You are doing as much as you can, don't beat yourself up like that and I'm sure that your children understand, Just pray and ask God to help and heal you. "The Lord is your strength you know." I pray that things will get much better for you and your children. God Bless You.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
7 Jun 11
I try not to let it bother me but soometimes I can't help it. I hope my babies do understand more, im sure my oldest does but my youngest I don't know what to think. I know when they come home from school, I hear my oldest say 'be quiet and behave because mommy not feeling well'. That only last for so long because they get to arguing and next thing I know they're tattling on eachother. But it wouldn't be a normal day in my house if they didn't do that...lol. But thank you so much
@amyson (3498)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
i feel your agony and most single women who have difficulty financially when heir partner left them and could not provide enough means to support what is being left. in your case even though you have financial worries you still manage to care for your children and that is the most important. your children would understand you later when they already grown mature and help you later on. they could see your situation and eventually they would stop asking for more and rather be contented since they could understand your situation.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
7 Jun 11
Honestly they don't ask for much. They don't want material things, they just wanna get out the house and do things with mommy and I can't always do that. My body is not always in the mood to just get up and go to the carnival or amusement park. I hope to do more with my kids this summer than I did last summer. Another thing is I don't believe in rewarding them if they don't do what I ask them to do. They're old enough to keep the room clean, do their laundry and other chores around the house. So I guess its a combination of my finances, their behavior and my health
@SIMPLYD (90721)
• Philippines
7 Jun 11
How old are your kids? Maybe they already know that because of your injury , you feel pain in your body, that hinders you from further bonding with them. In addition, they know that you alone , work to provide for the family, so having fun and spending should be avoided.
Sometimes, we have to be truly honest to to our kids, because in their own little way they also know how to help in making both ends meet.
Don't feel depressed. Be strong , because you have your kids that look up to you for support.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
7 Jun 11
My babies are old enough to understand and they don't really make a big deal as much to go out and do things. My oldest actually had to shower with me when I had my surgery a few years back because I couldn't utilize my arm. After the surgery I started having more issues with other parts of my body. Its like I was breaking down one body part at a time. I still try not to let them see me in pain or going thru the motions because they don't need to see that side of me. Thank you for the advice
