How honest are you with your mate?
By JJohnson79
@JJohnson79 (301)
United States
June 10, 2011 9:43pm CST
I think honesty is the best policy in any situation but more important when it comes to relationships. My man and I tell eachother everything, even if either of us don't want to hear it. They say the truth will set you free. How true do you think that is? I have a very open relationship with my man. We don't hide anything and tell all. There's no holding back, no secrets or anything. With our honesty policy it keeps more happiness in the relationship. It leaves less room for assumptions because we are always honest with eachother. We rarely have disagreements and im glad because I am not the one to argue. I think that being honest in a relationship is good therapy and it opens alot about eachother. You will never know all there is to know about a person over night but leaving less room for lies leads a better relationship. What do you think about that?...Be honest
1 person likes this
8 responses
@kukueye (1759)
• Malaysia
12 Jun 11
If your start with an open truth then it is ok , but often many relationships start with the couple having they own skeleton in the closet and baggage from previous relationship or other old lifestyle and such.I guess by theory is better to be honest when the questions are being asked,if the question are not asked better not tell.Only tell if the opposite spouse wants to know.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
13 Jun 11
I use to have an 'dont ask don't tell' policy. Like if the person doesn't ask me about it and somehow it comes out, then they can't be angry because they didn't ask right..? Well that was when I was younger and im not like that with my man. I find myself telling him stuff he don’t ask. It doesn't bother me, I feel that you can never know a person too much so I tell him anything he wants to know.
@sweetloveforeve (13120)
• Portugal
11 Jun 11
im always honest^^ for me the best in a relation besides the care and love ^^ it is honesty. you should always tell everything to the one you love. if you dont tell him to whom will you tell? the best thing to do is to always say how we feel. if there is something that we dont feel ok about we should share with him. its just great that you and your bf are so honest. that way for sure you have a good relation that can last for long.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
13 Jun 11
Thank you and that is exactly my point. Now we're not going to always see eye to eye on everything but somewhere we have to come to a mutual agreement and deal with it. Out of all the things I have told my man, I don't regret not one word of it. Its like the more I tell him, I notice he tells me more without me even asking about some things at times
@marapplestiffy (2182)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
I totally agree!!! We feel it if our partners hold some information back or change the real scenarios and the same goes when we do the same...it only leads to hurting each others feelings, no matter how grave the situation is it's better to be upfront with our partners, and we'd even be surprised at how understanding they could be....
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
13 Jun 11
I totally agree and I feel alot of people are not honest in their relationships because of fear of how the other will see them. Everyone is afraid of being judged in some kind of way. But they don't understand that it is so much easier to tell the truth about whatever it is that's on they mind
@edsss17 (4394)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Hi!
How nice of you and your mate to tell all to each other! I've been honest for my past relationships and it is tiring!! It is so hard wen its only me who's being honest in our relationship..
They are all just playing and stuffs.. I've learned.. and I'm waiting!! I'm waiting for the right one who's like your mate that is not afraid to tell me his all. No secrets, good relationship!!
Cool discussion you got here! 
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
11 Jun 11
I went thru the same thing in my past relationships but in life we live and we learn. Everything we do in life is an experience. I don't regret any of my previous relationships before I met my mate. The love that he showers me with makes me forget about all the pain I've went thru in the past. I told him he is my healer. My heart feels at ease with him and I feel safe. Just be patient and do what my grandma told me to do when I was single....she said if you want that real man, don't look for him let him find you. Crazy as it sounds, she was right because my man found me. I was so tired of guys, I was single for 14 months exactly and then he came along. I am so happy with him and the chemistry we have is amazing. So be patient and don't settle for less, you'll get the right one
@gingerberrie (191)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Hi JJohnson79,
I really admire you for the sincerity of both parties. You’re right if you want a better relationship but not just better but the best and long lasting lasting relationship you must be honest. As the saying goes honesty is next to Godliness.
It’s really hard to be honest especially if your relationship is on the testing phase. Sometimes deepest secrets are very hard to reveal. Sometimes it’s better to forget than to recall. Recalling sometimes can cause to ignite a never ending argument that will end up into fighting because of jealousy. If the both partner learned from all their mistakes, they can start a better foundation to be really true to each other. Honesty should always be the first priority.
Thanks to God we’re having a smooth life now and “HONESTY” is no longer a big question mark in our relationship.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
13 Jun 11
My man and I have no problem with talking about our past. Whether it be our past life experiences or our past relationships. To me, I think it opens up another side to us that we didn't know we had by sharing those feelings. Its somewhat a form of therapy and it eases our mind to know that we have that security in one another. I haven't found anything that im uncomfortable sharing with my man. We have a wonderful relationship and he says I've given him something he has never felt before and that's "security". I love him dearly and will continue to be honest no matter what
@MBBerry (24)
• United States
11 Jun 11
I agree that honesty is best. However, that being said I don't tell my husband everything. If I think it will make him mad or lead to a fight and is not something that is really worth arguing over I simply remain silent. This mostly happens when he does something I disapprove of but, is minor. (kind of like leaving the toilet seat up) Otherwise I am totally honest with him.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
13 Jun 11
I, on the other hand speak up no matter how little it may be. How will your mate know what bothers you if you don't say anything about it...? I tend to use reverse psychology and make my man see things the way I would see it. Then once he has had time to think about it, I get a different response from him. It works for me all the time! All we(women) really want in a relationship is understanding and nothing wrong with making a point to our mate so that he see things from our point of view. Even if it does lead to a small disagreement. Bottom line is, our point was made, he understands and everything was put out in the open. Its a win/win situation
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
11 Jun 11
That can be true and I think it depends on the situation. But my mate and I agreed to always be honest no matter what the situation is. So far its going great and I tell him everything. He hasn't gotten angry with me yet over the things i've told him. We'll see how long that last, he claims to not be jealous...I've heard that before
@krieyszel (330)
• Philippines
11 Jun 11
Yes, honesty is really important in a relationship, it is somewhat like having a trust. If both parties are open, no lies and always honest, what we will expect? of course a long lasting relationship because since you are honest and then it's not impossible that you will understand each other often times. Honesty it very important to gain trust and deeper love. That both will be directed and all things or issue will gonna work out properly.
@JJohnson79 (301)
• United States
11 Jun 11
Glad you see things as open as I do. I totally agree and my man and I are doing great. Its like he falls deeper and deeper in love with me everyday and I feel the same with him. I can't remember ever being this happy as I am with him. We are open about everything and I feel very comfortable sharing things with him. He's very easy to talk to and understanding
