My daughters boyfriend is very jealous and I'm not liking it!

My daughter is only seventeen and does not date anyone seriously. She goes out with her girl and boy friends on weekends and I can see how happy she is with them. If a boy would tell her to cut off from those whom she's happy being with, then I would step in that ask her to drop the boy. A jealous guy is a pin in the neck and no matter how hard you try, there will be always conflicts and troubles because of his jealousy. It's better to find another one that could at least let my daughter be happy with people she's having good and clean fun.

Firstly, I can't believe you have a daughter who is nearly 18! You must have been a child bride. :P Moving quickly onto your dilemma - He does sound rather overbearing. It is always healthy to maintain contact with your friends. I could maybe understand him being jealous if her friends included boys who may pose a threat, but then again, he should trust her. He sounds already too controlling and that does not bode well for the future. Has she given him reason not to trust her? You can only advise her that it's not good to be cooped up waiting for her prince to return. She needs to get on with her life and not be controlled. However, if she is happy doing as he says, it may be difficult for you to get her to see your view point. Good luck on this!

"she says her boyfriend doesn't want her to hang out with her frinds" HUGE red flag right there. Nip this in the bud...now. This is classic abuser mentality.

I'm kinda the jealous type as well...and me and my husband always fights about it. So...I tried my best to change because I know for a fact that his getting choked because of my jealousy...and your daughter probably feels the same. So hopefully she could talk to her boyfriend and tell him that he just needs to trust her.

Jealous partners are not a good thing. They can make your life miserable, been there done that. She is too young to be tying herself down like that. It will only get worse.The sad thing is when she is staying home waiting on him he's probably out having a blast, been there found that out the hard way. I sure hate to see your daughter going down this road.

You have every right to not like this situation, especially as a Mom. It's probably difficult for you because you don't want to invade too much, but you also want what is best for her. This reminds me of one of my high school boyfriends. He was very controlling, although at the time I did not believe it. I was young and naive, but I wisened up after it took me what felt like forever to get over him. We ended up becoming just friends and I finally realized what others, including my Mom (Mothers seem to know best), had been telling me all along. He was jealous if I talked to another guy or if I went out with my friends, he wanted to know where I was...and we weren't even together. But I also became stronger and toughened up and was able to respond and tell him how it was on what he was so "concerned" about. Now that I am older and much more wise, I do not put up with that kind of behavior from my boyfriends and let them know from the start that aside from him, I need family and girlfriend time, along with "me" time. Hopefully your daughter will "wisen" up and realize that her girlfriends are more important than her boyfriend(s) because boyfriends will come and go, and true friends will be around forever.

Jen, I don't blame you for being upset. I would certainly have a long talk with her and with this boy when he returns. He can't stop her from being with her friends or he will control all that she does. I think that girls allow guys to do these things as they think that he loves them, but this can be a very dangerous issue.

Oh Jen, talk to your daughter. My 2nd daughter did not date until she was 17. It wasn't that I didn't allow it so much as I discouraged it. Anyway, this guy was so controlling and jealous. My daughter is sweet and moral and he really had nothing to worry about yet he would call her when we were shopping and ask her what she was wearing and then get angry if she was wearing shorts or anything because other guys might look at her. I'd get after her asking why she didn't feel insulted because seriously she dressed in taste and it was just ridiculous. It took a while but my daughter finally got it...she has a right to be with her friends and live her life. She was not being unfaithful or doing anything wrong other than going way overboard trying to please a control-freak. Jealousy and love don't go together. I just told my daughter my thoughts but supported her choice to stay with him until she finally agreed that I was right. does that make sense? I just told my thoughts honestly but was always clear that I could be wrong and I support her choice. I was always polite to her boyfriend even though honestly...couldn't stand the kid. it had to be HER choice. its hard to watch, heh?

My son-in-law would always ask me,"Do you think she has someone else? Does she ever talk to you about other guys?" One day i answered him with a question, I asked him,"Are you saying my daughter is a hoe?" He replied no and that was the last time he asked me that.

A tricky and delicate situation! A jealous boyfriend and future husband is not good. What would I do in your shoes? I'd take her out for supper to one of her favorite places. Enjoy a nice meal. After the meal, tell her how much I love her and want her to be happy in life and the importance of finding the best partner possible. Tell her that a jealous man spells trouble and heartache. Tell her that there are some good men in this big world and the importance of finding one. Don't get upset but show your concern. Tell her that you will always love her and be there for her no matter what decisions she makes. Hopefully she'll see the soundness of your advise. I hope things work out!

It does sound like a concern! My girlfriend’s daughter is going out with a rather controlling type too. She’s twenty one and he’s twenty three. Apparently he is particularly possessive and controlling especially in regards to money that she earns herself by working fulltime. My friend is concerned with her daughter’s situation with this guy and we decided that the best and only thing she can do is talk to her and explain how unhappy a relationship like that can be for her in the future but at the end of the day she is going to have to let her daughter make her own mistakes which is pretty tough for a mother. It is heart breaking to stand by and watch your child be hurt but aside from warning her else can you really do when they are old enough to make their own decisions? I hope you can get through to your daughter. If you’ve had bad experiences of a similar kind it may help to share your stories …Hope she listens otherwise all you can do is be there if she needs you. Good luck with this Jen.

o jealous man. I do not like. I do not like these men. I am a free spirit and hate someone to tell me what to do where to go who to see. I guess that's why you do not like it. I think if a man loves a woman beside him should not and shows her jealous. Jealousy is just a loss of nerve. It is a killer for me to love. Have a nice day!

Hi jenin i think jealousy in your daughter's boyfriend is normal in the starting of the relationship but as the relationship develops more mature it should not build up in distrust which can really be harmful for both of them From your comments it seems her BF do not really trust her which is disgusting as faith is vital in every relationship. And you are right being a Mom you should feel bad when someone says this for your daughter. If i had been in your place i would have asked my daughter to break relationship till builds up more.

I had a really jealous boyfriend when I was your daughter's age. It was really bad. Not to worry you more but it is really serious! I tried to break up with him and he told me he was going to kill himself if I did. I told him I was going to and he put his head through a glass panel, bleeding all over the place and was rushed to the hospital. He did turn into an abusive person later on when I still stayed with him because I felt guilty and thought it was my fault he hurt himself (now I know better). And the moving away with him thing is worse!! Please do everything in your power not to let that happen. They want them away from family and friends so they can have them all to themselves and do whatever they want to them with no family or friends to help. Abuse or whatever. I hope she finds someone new for her sake and yours!

HAte them and not right to tell her she cant hang woth girlfriends! It can get down right scary when fellers are to possive yup I think I would call a hlt to this feller

I have been in a jealous relationship before and it's complete BS! What can I say? I used to be an idiot. I would dump a guy that very instant if he ever started that crap with me. No guy is worth me being a slave and losing myself. Remind your daughter that she needs to be her own person and sooner or later, her friends will get sick of him and she'll lose all her friends. These type of men always isolate their partner so they can gain full control. Does she really want to have to get yelled for "flirting" and "sleeping with" guys she didn't even notice? Does she want to get fired from her job because her boyfriend threatened to kill somebody or kept calling her work? This is how this type of situation progresses. I think you really need to strain the seriousness of this type of thing. Too often are kids in this same situation- or worse. Good luck to both of you. And screw that loser.

hi Jen~ owh... I don't like that kind of guy~ I don't want him to say what I should and should not do~ I have my own life~ It is going to be the first sign that he likes to control the relationship the most~ I don't think your daughter like it to be that way~ You should ask her for that~ Turn down her friends because of one guy~ Hmm... not good~ It is normal to hang out with friends and his action is unreasonable~

I would put my stand first before making any commitments. If that guy thinks that he can't accept it, then he's just not meant for me. Love is based on trust, and if you can't trust a person, then what's the point of being in a relationship. Even friends can trust each other, so what with boyfriend and girlfriend, huh?

I think jealousy is normal to a certain extent but there can be some people that are too jealous which can turn into a too controlling situation.She should be having fun with her friends it does sound like he is afraid that another guy will try to pick her up at the lake wearing a bikini but if he trusts her he shouldn't be worried about that and if that is the case he wouldn't want her to stop hanging out with her friends period. That sounds like he is too controlling. That won't work out because later on it will turn into other controlling situations like not wanting her to hang out with you so much because it keeps him from spending as much time with her as an excuse.

in my most honest mind and heart, i am sorry to say, but jealus partners are a big NO! they are impediments to a person in getting a life. anyways, this story does not concern me after all. have you ever asked your daughter how she feels about his boyfriend's attitude? if she's ok with it. then, i think you might consider it then. but we have to consider also other consequences such as a family outing without the "boyfriend". will the boyfriend give a go signal for her to go out with her folks? the bottom line to all this is...the happiness of the partners. but, their happiness is our happiness, too. what if she is not happy about it? we will be sad, too. we have to consider all things and weigh things properly before we make decisions. consider also what are impeding decisions to act on. it is better prepared than sorry later. experience says, a jealous boyfriend can do a lot of crazy things outside the boundaries of norms. as a mother, you know by heart which action is not healthy anymore. act always according to the dictates of reasons, though without the expense of emotions. hope i am shedding lights to your query..