Is my money his money? (my boyfriend)

It's good to share the money when you get married but again, you cannot ask him for account on everything because he also paid a lot at the beginning when you didn't have job. If you want share with him your concerns, a relation is about sharing, but also don't be so pushy. Is it worth it to lose a loved one just for some money and gas? It's up to you how much you like him and do you really want to share your life with him.

Wow, you are just a couple, not married yer, so you must make it clear to him if you are minding about the money right now. He should or should not pay you back on certain type of money. Like the money he borrowed from you, he should pay that 600 bucks back to you. If other miscellaneous stuff, like coffee, or gasoline, make it a clear boundary on your relationship. What if you break up with him someday, you might make some loss on your investment there.

If you've not spoken to him about it, he might take it for granted which - given that you're posting here - would not be to your liking. It might be worth mentioning the car gas thing, for example, as a lead-in. Dangerous ground, since it might make tempers flare, but worth clearing up IMHO. He may not even have thought about it, since he paid for lots of stuff at the start. He may feel terribly guilty about it. You won't know until you ask. As far as I'm concerned, everything I own is both mine and my lady's. We have a shared bank account. But (there's always a 'but') I also think it's VERY healthy to have your own money that you can do whatever you want with. If not, everything becomes a potential problem because it has to be discussed and agreed. We do that - we both have a separate bank account and leave a little money in them for stupid stuff we feel like buying (or presents for each other, so they don't show up on the joint account statement). Money can make or break a relationship unless you're REALLY open about it. It's worth laying down that openness as early as possible.

Ohhhhh friend no how is your money is your boyfriend money something is wrong here. Only after marriage we can say my husband's money means our money or vice versa. But before marriage is not you can see my discussion 'Why? the people is using chatting is wrong way' because you can understand what is happening with you. After reading this discussion you can understand everything in better way.

I don't feel you need to spend on him till you get married may be he is using you to fulfill his financial demands which i think presently not being able to do. After marriage both you should share your money as his money is yours & yours money is his money.But presently you should be cautious & should not spend on him so heavily.

i know how you feel. you are earning the money so you have say with where your money goes. when he starts making money remind him that if he uses your car, he needs to fill it up whenever it is low. I know its hard because you love him but make sure you still stand your ground because i don't want you getting walked all over. Also when you spend time together after this job has become stable, remind him how nice it was when he paid for dinner and stuff like that. Men dont understand signals, you need to use your words. Good luck with this :) i hope it works out and he stops being a bum! hehe

hmm no. of course not. your money as his girlfriend is not his money... when you are married, your money is still yours anyway and it is his prerogative to ask help from you. the same way that his money is his money, unless you are married and he is obliged to support you as his wife.

I know the feeling and I believe that the best thing to do is talk to him about this, as soon as possible. Money matters is a very delicate topic, so I suggest you try not to point out directly on things you spend for him. Just open a discussion on how your money and his money should be saved and spent. I am in a 9 year relationship with my current and only girlfriend, and trust me when I say that you should talk this matter in a cautious way. Good luck!

The thing about being in a relationship is that everything should level out eventually. Leaving your car without gas is unfair on you, and you ask him to chip in for the gas every now and again if he wishes to use your car in the future. It isn't unfair, as I believe that such costs should be shared anyway. The only things that you should spend your own money on is things like clothes or accessories, that the other would not benefit from. Otherwise it isn't fair and you should be sharing the costs. He might not even realise that he's being unreasonable, and a quiet word could do the world of good.

I think this is normal situation for the couple. As long as you and your boyfriend understand each other. When you have no job, he payed everything and now you have a job you pay everything because he no job. I and my wife always share our financial. She has just get her job. So far, I payed all of our expense such us: food, gas, school fees, electric, phone bill etc. Since my wife got a job, I have never spent my money for food.

My money is my money. And his money is my money, as well. This is my motto and this should be yours too, FF. We are already married, though. When we were still BF/GF, we had separate everything. But, whenever we had dates, we never split the bill. He always pays. That's how it works.

Personally, i think it will be better not to share all the money before you get married, love does not means that you could share everything, and even it might will make you into the dispute some day...

well!for my personal point of view, you were not yet married, so still boyfriend and girlfriend, i guess for financial issues it was really a big deal, for me you should separate your money and with his money, when times you would get married that's the time that your money would his money, and his money would be your's.Don't think that you'll be too generous on him, because when you don't have a job, he was there to provide everything to you, so it's just only vice versa, now you had a job it's your time... Actually it was usually happened the misunderstanding about financially issues specially when in married couples, you should talked about it, so that you would not think negative things about financial issues...

i think when it comes to bills keep it 50/50. PLEASE let him know that. If you think he's abusing then tell him. If your going to eventually married to him, the line of communication has to be open, ESPECIALLY when it comes to finances. There needs to some sharing, but some boundaries as well. Define them and talk to him about it. Listen if he brings up the past, make a plan what you want set forth in the future. good luck :)

I don't think the sharing money thing really applies when your just dating but when you're married there should definitly be sharing going on.I am not saying that you shouldn't share money when your dating but not so much as one person is always paying for the out to eat dates or the car problems.Maybe equally shared or don't go out to eat at all.A lender nor a borrower be.i think that's the saying?lol

I think it really depends on how you feel. If you feel that he is serious about you, then it's fine to share your money with him. However, I would like to advise you on something. That is being woman, we should always keep our fair share of money for rainy days. And this should be known only to ourselves. We as women, should learn how to protect ourselves and this is one way of doing so. I am with my boyfriend for 5 years now and we share our finances. We have a joint account where we put all our savings there. He earns more than me and so he contributes much more and we share all decision to purchase things. Plus, he's fine with it. Previously when you did not have a job, you boyfriend has been paying for your expenses and he did not calculate with you. Perhaps you really thinks that you are the right one for him? If this really bothers you, i think you should have a talk to him and let him understand how you feel and what are his thoughts on it.

I think I'm in a very good situation to post a comment here. Usually when we get married it is yes. We share everything. if we don't want to share, better don't get married. I'm a bit amused when some wife or husbands said theirs money are theirs to spend because I taught everything are shared when we get married. If we only in a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, it is a bit of give and take. Like you said, he used to pay for everything when you had no job and now he yet to have a job and you pay for everything. Is it a bit of give and take? Okay here are my story. When I first met my wife, we were both working. But she earn a lot more than I am and I just persue my study while working. Of course I'm always short of money due to my school fees and I cannot go overtime because I don't have time. At our first met, I pay for everything. Then suddenly things slowly change. We share our expensenses and she even pay for my car fuel. Then most of the times, since I'm always short of money, she pays our expenses. But soon after we get married and I finish my studies, we share what we can. I contribute the most first. I will pay for most of the things until I used up my salaries, then she chipped in. Then I change my job, which I had a bigger salaries, and I pay for everything. Her money are hers to keep. And then she quit her job and I'm the sole bread winner and everything is on me. So it is a bit tricky when it comes to financial. All you need is tolerence. Guys will never take advantage of woman they love but the situation make them helpless sometimes. I believe when he had a job and you get married, things will change.

hello, Well, so he didn't share at all. Yes, maybe at first he do shares with some expense but why now? what happened? is it because you are stable to your income but that is too unfair to pay everything without him sharing? I don't like that. I mean I can share if he share. Do you get my point? Well, in your situation you must tell it to him and ask him. because something really wrong here.

I don't believe in money sharing. You have to keep finances apart. This is just something that too many people are too easily tempted to fight over. It can also cause issues that may not result in direct fighting but rather some feelings of resentment. This is something that you do not particularly want to run into. I hope that things start to get back to normal for the two of you. Good luck.

Even when married it is not weird to keep your own bankaccount. I wouldnt want to be begging for a new coat, and I would not want him to ask me for something he likes either. He paid for you in the beginning, now you pay for him, no questions asked and if you cant go without the money he is costing dont spend it on him, tell him no if he wants to borrow your car. In a steady relationship you should be able to talk about this stuff, so tell him he has to put some gas in your car if he can spare it. And if he cannot spare it, just lend him your bicycle... you are not too generous, wouldnt he do the same for you?