I think he should go...

Seems like that is happening all over the place. I think if all else fails, show him your discussion on Mylot. Heck, if he sees it in writing that you don't want him to go, it may be helpful! I hope everything works out for the best.

You can suggest that he goes there first to get settled. Assure him that this is just a temporary setting and that when he has a job and has rented a place already, you and your kids can follow him there. Good luck :)

It's hard for a loving father/husband to leave the love of his life. Me and my wife also felt the same when, some time in the past, we decided that I go work on another country for us to have a better life. Luckily, things got better in our life so it resulted to me not going away after all. I guess the thing that you and your husband should do is pray. Ask the Lord to give you a sign on what you should do. Also, surrender your life, your plans to Him. He will never let you down. Have faith.

I have two different answers. If I were married I would want him as far away as it is Humanly possible.I don't trust nor love husbands. But my love? I would want him with me. But if his dream was a few states away I would say follow your dream. The only way I know to say it is like this. " I love you. I want you to be happy. If you think going to.... will make you happy , then go. the Kids and I will stay here . If you Still think your dream job is here , then go for it!"If he still hears you want him to leave , Then The job isn't the problem.

Have you tried telling him that by going it will help not hurt? Just explain to him that he should go and find a job. He can possibly stay with your brother until he has saved enough money to get a place bug enough for the entire family. Once that happens the rest of the family can join him. Isn't that what you were thinking in the first place?

I've tried working in another state just to make it 'easier' for our family. I drove 2 hours one way to get to a job, and another 2 hours home. Financially, it did make it a bit easier for us, but it also made life difficult for me. Not that I'm getting tired all the time, and not having enough hours of the day, I was missing a lot of my kid's activities. It only lasted me six weeks! I understand the need, but I think your husband also is struggling with it. The idea of being away from his family must be really difficult for him too.

Why does he not go for a short time on his own and check out the living conditions and if the job is decent and he can find nice living accommodations why can you not move out to where he is living. I know as a military wife it is really not a big deal to move to another city, state or even country for the state of being together as a family.

Hi lovingmybabies, I can understand your situation well. One need to sacrifice for the betterment of the family. I think your hubby is torn between leaving the family behind and having to work in new place. He want to be around his family always and did not feel the urgency to find a job. I think you should make him realize that a growing family needs are growing larger and only with a job that brings in steady income is able to fill all the family needs. A marching order for him to go and work somewhere away from the family will only make him feel unloved. You should have a heart to heart talk with him to explain the difficulty of making ends meet when he is jobless. Some men can't think straight unless they are motivated by their partners. Remember the saying...'behind every successful man is a woman.' You have an important role here to to play to ensure your husband's success.

lovingmybabies suggest to him that you are willing and ready to move there when he gets that great job and that you love him so much you hate to see him all worried over not having a great steady job. I am a widow so this does not apply to me but I followed my husband from Arizona to California for a better job and loved the idea.He needs work to feed and care for you all and if he can do better in a different state thats the place to go to and work there. he will be able to s end for you soon that way.

There are many people who leave their families behind and go to work in the Gulf countries.They work on contracts of 1 to 2 years and come home after it has expired.They renew it and come home and spend a month with their families and then go back to work.If your hubby is facing problems getting work in your city then he should definitely go to a place where he can get a job easily.It is not a question of leaving the family.If he cannot support you all and struggling then he must go elsewhere he can find work.He is not leaving the country.Whenever school vacations come then you and your children can go and spend time with him.you will also be in contact over the phone,probably daily.I think you should once again talk to him and ask him to be more practical. He can also try to get a house there and see if he can get all of you there.

Well, you might try telling him that as much as you and the family want him close by all the time the financial situation makes that difficult and that it would ease those finances were he to follow the jobs, since the jobs aren't available locally. It doesn't mean the love and need of his company is any less for you and the kids, but, the job and the security it offers will better stabilize the whole family until you can have him home 'all the time' again. Enjoy!

This issue must be carefully discussed as it involves the entire family, you him and the kids. There may be sacrifices involved and the kids not getting to see their father for a while. Can they take it? I don't know how old are your kids, but if possible, involved them and think of long term while keeping the consequences in check.

Try and get him to talk about the idea of working in another state and kind of guide him towards making the decision to go, but you have to let him think it was his brilliant idea to go. Guys love when they can come up with good ideas that help everyone out. So, try and prompt him towards the idea so that he'll "come up with the idea on his own". I'm not sure if this is making any sense, it's a really hard concept to explain through text on the internet. It sounds so much better in my head. The main thing is to not push him into leaving because that'll get him suspicious of you even though you're innocent. Talk to him about what he thinks will be the best thing for the family. But like I said, try and get him to come up with the idea on his own, he'll feel a lot better about it.

And what about you and the kids? Can't you follow him after sometime? Yes, I understand your point that it's difficult to find a good job where you are but I also understand him. It's not good for a family to live apart. A family should stay together in good or bad. I can see my husband during the summer. Every year we are leaving on vacation with the kids and we're staying for 2-3 months in my country. My husband is alone most of that time. I can feel how lonely and miserable he is. Especially he is so attached to the kids and the distance is killing him. May be your husband is the same. If there is a possibility later to get together may be he will be more willing to go. What do you think?

Leaving your family and your loved ones just to have a nice job and provide them with a better life is a very difficult thing to do. I understand your husband because I remember my dad who does not want to go abroad and leave us here. But anyway, regarding your situation I guess you need more time to convince him. I know it is difficult on your part since both of you will be far apart but I guess it's the best way as of the moment to sacrifice rather than to sacrifice the needs of your kids. Try to talk to him once again and tell him the product of him leaving but having something for his kids. If he tells you that you are like getting rid of him then assure him that it's not what you wanted either. Explain to him the difference it would make if he will leave you for a while and try to make money away from all of you. If he still insist, ask him if he have anything else in mind that will help bring money in that does not require him to work far away from you. If he has nothing in mind, tell him that if he don't gave the courage to work far away from you then you might as well be the one to do. See if that kind of alternative will affect his decision. But if he really does not want then don't try to force him, drop the issue and go on with daily life. Instead of telling him over and over again, better close the issue and let him see and experience how difficult the situation is. Let him feel how it is to live without enough source of income.

For me i prefer my husband to leave for a while and make money than stay together with me struggling alone for our subsistence and other necessities.