Should You Hit A Child?

There are a lot of methods to discipline, but every child is unique. Just because time-out worked on jane dosent mean it will work for dan. I was raised in a home where I was hit on the butt and the face, frequently. I must say the face was way more humiliating and I have no problems telling the difference between pain and pleasure. I will never slap my kids on their face. I find it to be disrespectful. Just like I dont spank out of anger and I dont spank all the time. I tell my kids to stop, I tell them what will happen if they dont, might be take it away, loss of privilage or spank, I count and give them the chance to stop and if they dont one of the punishments will happen, but my kids know I mean it. Im not their to be their friend, Im here to parent them. To help them become an important member in society. Unlike many kids I see now, some who show no respect to their parents because their to scared to punish because a study says this and a study says that. My kids were having sand thrown in their face recently and both parents paid no attention until I started saying something. Even than they did nothing. I told my kids to stay away from them and their parents heard. I dont want my kids around kids like that. The little girl even told her Mom," No, Im having fun." Is that really how you want your kids to act? My kids know better. We would have left and gone home and they would have lost the rest of the day having fun there for that disrespect, but this is whats happening. Discipline out of love not anger, but dont be afraid to discipline and know being your childs friend will come later.

I respect your opinion but I will never settle to hitting a child which is also equivalent to hurting a child.You said its humiliating to be hit on the face rather on the butt. I'd rather say its better not to resort to this kind method because both of this are humiliating. If we can tame a lion , what more human.I believe that children can understand what we want to tell them without hurting them. The child will see what you want them to understand. But once you hurt a child, the thing that he or she will think is nothing but the pain. Its true he or she might realize it too, but the child will follow out of fear and not out of love and respect. The child will follow without understanding, he or she just follow to save himself from pain.. If it works for you I don't think it will work for others. There are so many victims of abuse that started from "disciplining". as they claim. But the question still rings...do this frail body deserve to be hurt like that?

You do know how they tame a lion right? I dont think taming a lion, which is actually never tamed, should be compared to disciplinning a child. No child should be abused physically or mentally. Everyone has a different method to discipline. I dont even discipline both my children the same. Im not saying my method is correct for everyone, just your discussion make it sounds like any parent who spanks from time to time is abusing their child. No child should be humiliated or abused or neglected. My children are loved and show respect to me, my husband and others. Not out of fear, but because we respect them and do our best to parent them.

yeah not a better approach in disciplining children. Physical punishment gives/sends a wrong message to a child.

I have shown all 3 kids plenty of respect trust me on that one. There were circumstances that forced me to live with my parents until the last couple of years. All I can say about that is that I suspect my Mom has something to do with the lack of respect since I'm fairly certain she has bad-mouthed me so much. I am working on that issue.

I have done very well. I lived with my parents from the time my oldest was 6 months until she was 13. I had the same boyfriend for 6 years and then I had to have him arrested. So combining all of that I have done very well. But now that the guy is gone things have improved even further.

Dont be hard on yourself alharra. Im sure you were doing your best in leading them in the right direction. Every child goes through a faze of disrespect. Going through a divorce and moving in with your parents can cause a lot of friction. Just do your best to build a relationship with your kids and showing them and others respect so hopefully they catch on. You have to be the parent and Im sure you agree its not easy. No parent is perfect and no child is perfect. I came to the conclusion a long time ago no matter how hard I try and doing my best it will never be good enough for my kids. I just hope they grow up to understand this and I dont think they fully will until they have kids of their own.

I hope all parents use that kind of disciplinary method in raising their children. The child needs love not a hand that will give them nightmare.

Yeah I know that it can really affect us. I remember a friend of mine become bitter and loses trust when she grows up, due to her childhood beatings experience.

I'm sorry to hear that. Yeah i think they shouldn't smack the bottom of their children. They can talk to them instead of hurting them.

All they learn is that adults who are supposed to love and protect them hit them to make them do what they want. This instills fear and resentment. You can expect your children to behave or follow through with certain things but you don't have to hit them to make them comply or hit them as punishment. Consistency is very important, so definitely if you threaten you will take away something or there will be consequences, make sure you take it away and there are consequences, but that doesn't mean you have to physically punish or hit your children.

It is very true that they don't really learn anything from spanking. I don't really see how they could learn anything.