Marry the woman who you love, or love the woman who you marry?
By gengeni
@gengeni (3308)
Indonesia
July 25, 2011 8:48pm CST
Confused
Hmmm, I think it depends on the personality of each person.
People who pessimistic, just want to play it safe, and optimistic people who will take risks.
If you want safe, marry someone who loves you and try to love him, Because we live there who care and help.
If you want useful and dedicated, choose to marry someone who we loved, Because our hearts will be happy with every happiness of people who felt that we love. Love is one of the most precious thing a person who can do.
Sometimes we love the culprit, but love itself is never wrong.
For me personally the type of person can do a bit perfectionist, so I tend to prefer to marry someone I love.
What do you think?
Hmmm, I think it depends on the personality of each person.
People who pessimistic, just want to play it safe, and optimistic people who will take risks.
If you want safe, marry someone who loves you and try to love him, Because we live there who care and help.
If you want useful and dedicated, choose to marry someone who we loved, Because our hearts will be happy with every happiness of people who felt that we love. Love is one of the most precious thing a person who can do.
Sometimes we love the culprit, but love itself is never wrong.
For me personally the type of person can do a bit perfectionist, so I tend to prefer to marry someone I love.
What do you think?1 person likes this
14 responses
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
27 Jul 11
Seemingly it is to marry a person whom you love beforehand rather than marrying first and than loving later. You can say it that those who are willing to take risks, fall in love and then marry the guy, whom they have chosen. As regards, you, our best wishes are with you.
@dpk262006 (58676)
• Delhi, India
28 Jul 11
Both types of couple live happy married life, I agree with you.
Do not worry, your friend will settle down soon because it takes times to adjust with a new person (who was not known to her earlier). Ask her to be positive in her approach.
MANY THANKS FOR THE BEST RESPONSE.
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
28 Jul 11
Yea my friend, as I have said before, but I'm not attacking those who perform marriages without love, It's a personal right of each. Maybe they have a good reason why they do this. You know why I talk about this? Because my friend had married a man she does not love, at the request of her parents. I feel sad when she cried on my shoulder some time ago.
Nice day
Nice day1 person likes this
@umabharti (3972)
• India
26 Jul 11
Love is a feeling and it just happens and not that we choose some one to love or we should be chosen by some one to love us.
Its hard to discuss this love topic.Yes culprits and cheaters are all over.It is the selfishness which playes sometimes and sometimes the love fades in the hands of selfishness.
1 person likes this
@umabharti (3972)
• India
26 Jul 11
but that never happens ,either only one get full satisfaction of this.Other will be unsatisfied.Both should have the same love to each other then its a perfect marital life.
1 person likes this
Nice day@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 11
It is very difficult to discuss on this topic, there are several reasons why we say this is difficult. I do not know, but still many people who survive by trying to love your spouse in a marriage, on the contrary, there are many couples who love each other but must have failed in marriage. I personally think it depends on each one of us.
Nice day
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
Good day Gengeni,
With reference to your main topic discussion, it is still better to marry the woman you love rather than to love the woman you marry. However, there are some situations wherein, pre-arranged marriage has been set-up. For this reason, marriage comes first before you feel that you love the one you have marry. And if this will be the situation, there will come a time that one day, you are already inlove to the woman you marry.
1 person likes this
@jonahh08 (261)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
Marry someone you love who loves you too. Here in our country a person can only marry once, so why would you waste that chance. It's a pity how a person is forced to marriage to someone he/she doesn't love. We can only live once so let's be fair with ourselves.
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 11
Hi Jonahh,
Well, that's right, marriage only happens once in a lifetime. That is the best of everything. Without demeaning the people who have experienced failure in marriage to be married more than once, I consider it a major accident the result of an error. In developed countries, maybe you'll never see a woman who was forced to marry a man she recognized that yet, so arranged marriage by their parents. I think this is a primitive suppression.
've a nice day
@Jacruz25 (1124)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
good question did the question really came from you? Well, I will go to marry someone who I love and also learned to love me. I guess that's the best choice anyway. Why the woman who you marry? Why would you even marry her if you don't love her in the first place and you can't learn to love at all?. Marrying a woman you love but doesn't love you would give you a worthless life..
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 11
Hello Jacruz,
Ouw, ouw ..... Marrying a person who I love but does not love me, that's very bad. I hope it does not happen to me. This is obviously very painful. But honestly, I still see people who get married this way. I think it is a wedding without foundation.
I hope you enjoy my friend.
@apsara60 (6610)
• Israel
26 Jul 11
You should marry a women who loves you, no matter if she is not very beautiful or if she does not appeal to you right now (with time you will start loving her because she is the one made for you).
Since marriage is relationship for whole life, and if you will get a wife who is going to love you whole life, you will be the luckiest person on this earth.
Women are very complicated and you cannot trust their behavior. It is possible that woman that you love, may not be loving you in reality,(because most women don't know what they are doing), or if you will marry someone and decide to sincerely love her,may be she will make it difficult for you to love her
......
Everybody knows it is very difficult to make women happy and if you will marry the girl who is happy with you...you save so much headache..
.. So next time if you are ignoring some sweet girl who is in love with you.....think if you are doing justice to yourself.
I hope you are understanding what I want to say, because now even I am not understanding what I am saying
......
Everybody knows it is very difficult to make women happy and if you will marry the girl who is happy with you...you save so much headache.... So next time if you are ignoring some sweet girl who is in love with you.....think if you are doing justice to yourself.
I hope you are understanding what I want to say, because now even I am not understanding what I am saying
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
27 Jul 11
Hi aps,
Now I see you are confused, it is due to the fear of being caught in a trap by some sweet-talking girl who may be after what she get from you and not the other way around. Yes, you have a point there, some women just get into a relationship for all reasons other than love.
You say "women are very complicated" and cannot be trusted by their actions. Some are good at faking it but a good observer can tell if what they see is what they get.
That is your point: to be careful with what you wish for or you may get it, and you may not like it. Nice idea there, not to downgrade those girls with noble hearts and intentions.
1 person likes this
@mensab (4200)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
i think you have a good point in saying that people who want to play safe marry those who love them. and i appreciate your openness in saying that you prefer the other side which is to marry someone whom we love. well, it is easy to say that we will do this. but marriage is not solely an act out of emotion and love, it is now an economic and social decision. i hope i will be able to ease and address the economic and social pressures and marry the one i truly love. of course, i will.
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 11
Hallo mensab,
Ok, I put points on the basis of a desire or even the emotions I had in mind. That is normal because I have never been married. Maybe I need to know a lot about marriage and life thereafter. Here are many people who are married, they'll know a lot of real life in marriage. Like what you say in this discussion, it is a valuable clue for me to arrange the future. Perhaps it is useful for me to cope with marriage. I admit, I only want to marry a man in the name of love, but I also do not want to have economic problems. I think there are too many problems in the marriage could not I think for now.
Good day
@wongchoiyee (7413)
• Malaysia
26 Jul 11
I will marry the person who loves me more than I love him so that I will be happy and merrier.
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 11
Maybe you can see only a few, but all I see here is a lot. I do not think how they do it, because I can not at all to want to marry someone who is not so I love. What are the facts that are so prominent? You know now that many women want to marry the man because of wealth or position. Yes, it is their right to do that. But in my view, a woman like that just love the position and wealth, and may love for their child if they already have a baby. But no love for her husband. Aw .... very bad.
@chiwasaki (4694)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
For me, I will never marry a person that I don't love. The sole reason for me of marrying someone is because I love him, not because we are forced to. Of course I want that person to feel the same way. Both of us should love each other if we really want to get married.
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 11
I agree with you. Marriage is a sacred thing and not gambling. Of course everyone does not want to fail in marriage. Especially I always hope all is fine. I am very sad to see there are many couples who marry out of necessity, or even because of arranged marriages by parents, especially in certain areas that still have a very strong culture. I think it's unfair.
nice day
@bokal2703 (802)
• Philippines
26 Jul 11
Ideally and for happiness sake, one should marry the one that they love, however, not all are lucky to be given such privilege and caught up in a loveless marriage. In such cases, the couple should work out in learning to love each other if they are already bound in the tie of marriage. In that way, peace and harmony in their lives will be there...
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 11
Hallo,
Of course I'm including people who want to be happy in marriage, I do not know how with others. lol
I myself do not know how to grow a love that began after the marriage, it might take a struggle that is not easy. But I salute to people who do that.
Nice day
@rog0322 (2829)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
26 Jul 11
Hi gen,
I see it both ways: I marry the one I love and I love the one I marry. I want to keep it straight and simple. In all relationships,love should come first and the rest shall follow. Marrying for other reason other than love begets legions of problems that lead to unsatisfactory married conditions and eventually separation, a turning away from the uttered vows and making them look like fools who can't live up to what they promise.
1 person likes this
@gengeni (3308)
• Indonesia
26 Jul 11
Hello Rog,
This time we talk about "the promise in marriage", is one thing I forgot. Yes, of course you know better what is the meaning of marriage and a "promise". I enjoyed reading what you post. Thing you say is a dream for me. I want to have a mind like you. Love today and love after marriage. I do not want to fail in marriage, it is a nightmare for me. horrible
Nice day
Nice day
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
6 Nov 11
hi,
yeah,i am really confused,lol, but for me i think its more good and nice if marry the one you love rather than to love the one who you marry,its really hard to force and push our self to love a person,it will be so nice when we marry a person because to the natural feelings we have for that person,and that feeling is called love.
