Husband is Ruining Marriage

Well dear I believe if you want your marriage to work then be more patient of your husband. Don't always consider yourself. Your husband just wants to work maybe because he wants to be a good provider. Of course working all the time is not good but you can't solve this problem by complaining and feeling bad all the time. Just learn to understand. Then one day talk to him in a nice way about your feelings and let him realize what he has been missing to do as a husband.

I think you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him. That's very unusual for someone to work overtime and not get paid for it. The question is why is he allowing it? Is it possible that something else is going on in work that he's not telling you? Do you call him when he's supposedly working late? Something just doesn't sound right to me.

Wow, Works for Free and never says anything? Personally this is against the rules, and his Boss could get in big trouble for this. Your husband should have a right to say NO and refuse. I wonder what the rules for your state are on this issue. But have you confronted your husband and let him know your thoughts on this? I would think somewhere he is not really caring about you and your situations, and life at home. Somehow hoping that things can improve.

I do certainly know how you fee, my husband works 50 to 60 hours a week. He is on salary so he doesn't get paid for the extra work, but he does get paid well, and is in charge of his department. It does get really frustrating, but I know he is doing the best he can to keep his work happy and to keep a roof over our head. Once in a while I get upset about it but most of the time I realize he is just doing what he has to do. I think you are frustrated because you feel like you are trapped in your home. There was a time for about 8 months when I did not have a car and I honestly became very depressed because I felt trapped in the home and lonely. I think his working hours are so much harder on you because you are lonely and your husband and the car are your refuge from being lonely and possibly bored. I think you would feel better if you had access to a vehicle. When we didn't have a car once a month I got to rent a car for a couple of days to go grocery shopping and take care of errands. I always felt so happy during those days. It was cheaper than owning a car, I really looked forward to those days. I did occasionally take the bus places too, it was hard because I had two small children at the time but at least I got out of the house for a little while. I think you and your husband need to work out something where you can get out of the house so that you are not having cabin fever, perhaps when he goes in to work he can drop you off at mall or something so you can spend some time there while he working. Or maybe drive you in to the nearest town where you can walk around and treat yourself to lunch, or what ever. I think just working something out where you can get out and about more often will help you to feel better.

Hi friend, from your story, i can not help but wonder why your husband allow his boss to make him work for free. I am also wondering why can't he work full time, when he could work for his boss more than three hours. And from your story, he could work even longer if his boss would ask him. Are you sure he is really working? I am not insinuating something but maybe you have to find out, but this might cause more conflict. I think you have to discuss this between the two of you. Maybe you are not communicating very well with each other, i mean open to each other. Maybe having a baby would help. Your husband maybe would become more responsible and prioritize you and your baby. Maybe he will look for a regular and higher paying job because he has to shoulder your baby's expenses. How about appreciating your husband's efforts from time to time. Maybe that is what he is looking for that is why he works for free because his boss is appreciative of his work. Sometimes we need to be recognized to keep us going and inspired. What dp you think?

My!Nowadays few Chines people ober the boss like that!Is you hubby willing to do that without paying?Why? Yes,your husband should have managed to solve the difficulties from the family.He can't work in vain!If he is never aware of the trouble between you two,your relationship is really in danger.God bless and good luck!

You really need to sit him down and have a heart to heart talk with him because if not you are going to end up divorced. I know how hard it is when your husband does things like this. My husband will drop our plans to go help someone else with something. Plus he spends a lot of time gone next door to his mom's and it drives me crazy. I am about at the end of my wits over it and I know where we are headed if he doesn't change his ways. At least, I do have transportation, but rely on him for gas money which he usually won't give.

That is a dilemma...but if it were me well I would find something to do with my time when he is not around..and also not be so available when he had time to spend with me....that way he might just get a bit of a taste of medicine that he is dishing out....but find a hobby or something constructive to do..that might take a bit of the edge of your anger off too!

I'm very sorry that you have to go through this. I was going to tell you that you should leave him but you said you don't have any family near you. I would try to speak to him and let him understand how you feel. If he doesn't understand and respect your feelings then you need to try to move on if at all possible. I know it's difficult and it's way easier said than done. If it is possible to get into contact with your family and have them help you then that's probably what I would do personally. If he doesn't respect your feelings and you are unhappy then you shouldn't be with him. The fact that you don't want to have kids with him is a sign that you cannot completely depend on him. You need to let him know how serious your feelings are. I would be very frustrated and unhappy in your situation. I wish you the best in trying to resolve your issues with him. Do what makes you happy in the end. You deserve to be with someone who takes your feelings into consideration.

Hi there. I was actually experiencing the kind of stuff you have since my husband is very busy. But I get to manage to keep myself busy. I talk to my husband about it heart to heart. He have to hear what is your hearts desire. It was not easy to feel neglected. Of course we would be disappointed, talk to your husband so that you could both try to work out on the problems you have in your marriage. Don't wait for it to grow deeper and bigger that your marriage would come to its end.