how frank are you as a friend?
@SIMPLYD (90722)
Philippines
August 10, 2011 12:18am CST
We can be very frank to our husband and child, but what about to a close friend?
I am a frank person to you as my closest friend. I would tell you when you are already smelling bad. I would tell you when you have a lipstick on your teeth . I would tell you when you are overacting. I would tell you when you are a glutton. I can tell you a lot, because i love you as my friend and i want you to reform for the better.
But when i do tell you all these things, i would whisper them into your ears.
3 people like this
23 responses
@metahelly (42)
• Romania
11 Aug 11
Nowadays is more and more difficult to find good friends, but once you managed to have a good friend honesty is a major part. A friendship relation from my point of view must be based upon a lot of confidence from both sides.
@metahelly (42)
• Romania
11 Aug 11
I do this in case he smells, but not only to my friends also colleagues which I don't like... I once gave 2$ to one to go buy a soap.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
That's correct.
So can you frankly tell your friend when he smells bad , that he is that?
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Aug 11
It depends on what it is, but if I think something really needs to be said I will say it...
@dawnald (85146)
• Shingle Springs, California
11 Aug 11
I do try to, but the truth is that I'm not comfortable with either compliments or criticism (giving or getting).
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
But if you see that your friend has a new nice clothes that really compliments her, would you let her know?
Some friends could really be stingy with compliments. They have seen you in a nice outfit, yet not a single word will come out from their mouth. It's as if they don't want you to know that you look good.
1 person likes this
@totallyundecided (3190)
• Philippines
13 Aug 11
I can be frank as a friend when a friend needs to be whipped to the reality but whenever it comes to cases like you have mentioned like aboved such as : lipstick on the teet or smelling bad, I would sometimes tell them through SMS or type what I need to say on my cellphone and let them read just to avoid have them embarrassed.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
So, you really have to send her SMS because of that. Why not just whisper or motion with your fingers?
@angelbelle578 (1635)
• Philippines
19 Aug 11
You are a very good friend. I am frank too and at the same time a quiet person. Sometimes I think I am better quiet because sometime I think my mouth is too sharp. I am really frank and didn't realized sometimes that it was really hurting someone. I love my friends even I am really sweet in person.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
20 Aug 11
We can be frank, but we have to choose our words well when we say them. In addition , the tone of our voice should be in a loving tone.
@bingskee (5234)
• Philippines
15 Aug 11
i do believe that being frank at times can help. but being blunt can sometimes be damaging. there are friends who are not that tough and ready to hear not so nice things, there are friends who are open. i think it depends who the friend is and her or his character.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
16 Aug 11
But wouldn't it be better that we have to teach our friend who acts negatively to some constructive criticism , on how to accept them as such?
Part of friendship is being honest to one another, but i guess, as it is said , "The truth hurts".
@jdex_143 (1093)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Same here! :D
I can also be frank to my friends. But only to those who are close to me..
I also see to it that they won't get humiliated in front of other people. When I have something negative to say to them, I whisper it to them or make sign languages.
@derek_a (10874)
•
11 Aug 11
I tend to be very frank and honest with clients that I have seen as a therapist. They need for me to be honest or they are not going to get any value from our consultations. With friends who ask, I will always tell the truth for instance, if I think they look odd with a new hairstyle or yes, if they smell bad, I would share my feelings with them, otherwise, how else are they going to do something about it. In fact they could end up with more problems wondering why people avoid them. I prefer totally honesty in return, as I believe that maybe the truth will hurt sometimes, but for me, it is always better that I hear it as it is. _Derek
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
That's very true. Rather than them hearing it from others, it should be us that should tell them. That way, we will be able to say them gently , thus avoiding too much hurt on our friend.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
Yes, we should always be. However, we should also limit our frankness. It has to be that personal things about us should not be "too" shared with our friends.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
That's true. We should be frank to them as they should be also to us. That's what friends are for. . .to hear each other for what they have to say for our betterment.
@surekharathi (14146)
• India
11 Aug 11
Friend I am frankly women and talk with anybody whenever I am travel I talk any lady or girl and then after some time she will tell me ohhh really you are so funny. Because frankness is necessary. I can tell anybody like any funny words and I have confidence nobody will anger on me.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
I can also be friendly with other people i meet along the way or in a ride. But i choose what i have to share though.
But can you frankly tell your close friend that her breath stinks?
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
But would you be frank enough to tell your friend that his breath stinks? How will you do it?
@thatgirl13 (7294)
• South Korea
11 Aug 11
I am very frank as well, but only to my close friends. I don't wanna point out such stuffs if the other person is not a close friend, i fear he/she might get offended. But I know my close friend wont and we do the same to one another.
Anyway I am as frank as can be with my friends. They know everything there is to me and i am pretty much an open book.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
12 Aug 11
Friends should always be open for constructive criticisms , as well as suggestions. That way, they develop in their character and strengthen the friendship.
@minomarimat (372)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Actually, being frank is not really much of a bad character, but when you become too insensitive in your choice of words or manner of critique, that's when things get wrong. It's alright to comment on people like how your examples are; it's also important to be like that, and that you should say it as a friend, that you just have the intention of not wanting that person to be embarrassed and such. One just have to be careful on how they say things.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
If ever we have to say something to our friend for her own sake, we should choose what words to use. And it is also helpful if we could say some mitigating words, before we finally spill out what we have to say. In addition, it should not be in a loving tone.
@igatiful_badass (1222)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
I am only vocal and frank to my closed friend only.
Telling him/her the truth would definitely much help to build up your personallity and also for that person to be strong and aware.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
That's right. When we are frank enough to tell our friend her flaw, it could be meant as a constructive criticism for her. We could also suggest , what are the things to do to correct it. But then, these things should be expressed in a nice and loving manner.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Painful though some truths that our closest friend tells us, let's just consider them as constructive criticism. They are ones that can help you change for the better.
@chiwasaki (4694)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
I'm a frank person but not to the point that I will offend my friends. I'm an honest person but it is very difficult to hurt a person's feelings specially if it is a friend. I usually weigh the situation, but as much as possible, I want to frank and honest with my friends.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
The truth hurts so they say. So, who else will tell our friend of what is wrong with her except us, her closest. It may hurt her, but we have to do it so she may know and reform it.
But if if would let her go on with something wrong ,without us telling her so, in the end we will be blamed by our friend for not having told her so.
Just do it lovingly and explain to her well.
@Zer0Stats (1147)
• India
10 Aug 11
I'm not really emotionally open with anyone,but I am in most all other areas like in those you mentioned above.My friends and I have no issues talking about anything.I'm super open and comfortable with all my close friends,even the girls.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
11 Aug 11
It's nice that you and your friends are open to issues with one another. At least any problem about the friendship could easily be solved, if everyone is open to issues always.
@menace730 (506)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
I am also discretely frank to family or friend, but I have to admit if there was someone I did not like I would let them walk around smelling all day long...It's easy to talk with good friends and family, the hard part is helping someone you don't like.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
i would do that too, menace if i don't like the person. But to close friends, i will definitely frankly tell them.
@ajysharma (60)
• India
10 Aug 11
we always frank our friends but somethings are more important between two close friends that is trust, truth,believe and always be happy with your friends.if we have any problem with your friends then without any hesitation say to our friends
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
For us to be trusted by our friends, we should be frank. Though, the truths that comes out of our mouth hurts, it is necessary . It needs to be expressed to our friend so she may reform.
@fantabulus (4000)
• India
10 Aug 11
I am not so frank I less talkative women and if people will talk with me then I will talk them otherwise not. But my daughter is so frank and she talk with everyone and my all family members are like her and her nature.
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
10 Aug 11
Well, learn how to express yourself and be frank with what you feel towards your closest friend. It helps that you are frank to tell what you don't like in your friend, so she can change for the better. But when you say things to her, tell it to her in private and do it in a loving way.